Kiss, Kiss (Fall in Love)
by Fist-it-Out
Summary: Despite what she's been told, Addison gets into the music business. It was a dream since she was a kid and no horror story Bucky told her would change that. She wasn't expecting to be hired in the middle of an internal conflict in her favorite band and end up being the only resolution in sight. Band!au
1. Part 1

**Yay! It's the band!au I've been working on for like ever! Part 1 is super long but there's two more parents after this one! And there's a Spotify playlist for the song, and you can find all of this on my tumblr in the tag 'band!au'.**

 **Okay, without further ado, I give you** _ **Kiss, Kiss (Fall in Love)**_.

* * *

For most of the year she had been living in Los Angeles, Addison worked in a little bookstore only a few blocks from the house she lived in with her cousin. She hadn't gone to L.A. with much intent like others, who went to get famous. She wanted to get away from her previous life and her favorite cousin lived in L.A. with a few spare rooms.

Addison found the opening for an 'assistant to an underground band' only in February. Addison ignored it, fine with the job she had and not wanting to be in the music business (although it had always been her dream). Bucky had warned her not to apply either, and, considering he was older and more experienced, she listened to him for a few weeks.

Then she watched _The Book of Life_ and realized she'd never accomplish any dream if she played it safe all the time. ' _No risk, no reward_.'

Within hours of submitting her application in late March, she was given a date and time for an interview. She didn't hear anything for two months, then got a text from the interviewer—Mr. Jacobs.

 **Mr. Jacobs 2:14 pm**

If you're still interested the position is yours.

 **Addison 2:27 pm**

Thank you! Is there anything I should know beforehand?

 **Mr. Jacobs 3:01 pm**

I'll send you text messages as a primary form of communication. You need to come down to my office to sign your contract as soon as possible, and once that happens you're good to start on Monday morning. We'd need you in at around 7:30 in the morning.

 **Addison 3:03 pm**

Yes that's fine.

Addison went to his office the next day and went through the contract, signing where it needed to be signed and double checking anything that seemed odd. It was all in order though and within the hour she was officially in the music business.

"It's a pleasure to have you on our team, Addison," Mr. Jacobs said with a grin.

Addison smiled politely. She clasped her hands behind her back and rocked nervously on her feet. "I'm excited, honestly," she said. "Um, can I ask what's the band? I think I'll do a little research when I get home so I'm not so confused on Monday."

Mr. Jacobs grinned mischievously. "I'm sure you've heard of iZombie."

Addison squeaked in surprise. iZombie was in no way an underground band. They were famous and had two best selling albums, of their three albums and two E.P.s.

"You…I…oh my god," she stammered. Then she breathed out in complete disbelief, "I'm working for iZombie."

Mr. Jacobs grinned at her. "Don't worry, you'll have a few days to recover before you meet any of them. Be on the lookout for text messages throughout the weekend, okay?"

Addison nodded.

"See you Monday, Addison."

* * *

To say Bucky was angry would be an understatement. He was _livid_. It took a few hours for him to calm down enough to form coherent sentences, and still he was red faced and glaring at his young cousin.

"I completely forbid you from working for them!" he shouted furiously. "You're barely twenty! You-you don't even tell people you're related to _me_! If you work for them you won't ever have a private life!"

"I'm gonna be twenty one in July," Addison argued. "Which means I'm fully capable of making my own decisions. So I'm going to do this. You _know_ it's been like my dream to be in music."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "If you were meant to be in music it'd have happened by now."

"Fuck off," Addison argued. "I'm doing this. End of story."

Addison moved to go back to her room. Bucky followed her, saying, "You can't just 'end of story' me! I'm older than you! You're living in my house!"

"You can't make my decisions for me! I'm not a little kid anymore, Bucky!" Addison shouted. She turned to face him and folded her arms across her chest. They wouldn't get anywhere if they kept screaming at each other. In the most normal tone she could muster, Addison said, "I've always wanted to be in music, and this is my chance. And…and if this is a mistake, then let me make it for myself. So I can learn."

Bucky frowned and said nothing for a few minutes. He chewed his lip thoughtfully as he tossed around her words in his head. Finally he nodded in agreement. "Don't think this doesn't mean I won't be watching you still. I'm your older cousin, it's my job to protect you. If you really want to do this, then fine."

Addison broke out in a grin. Bucky held up his hand as if to ask for her patience while he finished. "I don't feel completely comfortable with you starting a new job the week I'm going out of town but…but I trust you."

Addison squealed excitedly and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you Bucky!"

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

 **Mr. Jacobs** **6:52 am**

Rise and shine doll! First day on the job starts now. Be at the studio by 7:30 and make sure you've gotten the band their morning coffee. You'll be on call for at least eight hours. I'll give you a full brief and rundown of your day once you arrive.

 _1 attachment: coffee orders_

* * *

"You're wearing that." It was more of a statement than a question.

Addison nodded and tugged on the cuffs of her long sleeve. "I don't want anyone to know, Bucky."

"This isn't Seabrook. You're gonna die of a heat stroke."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I know the signs. If it gets to a critical point I can take it off. It's an under shirt."

"Whatever. You're twenty, you know yourself better than I do."

She grinned at her cousin. She stood from the table and put her dishes away, then moved to the door. "Okay, I'm heading out. Have fun in New York, see you Saturday."

"Call me when you can," Bucky told her. "Keep me updated, okay?"

Addison nodded. "Yes, yes. Bye."

* * *

"Two iced coffees with caramel creamer, two black coffees, and one triple mocha frappe?"

Insert polite smile. "That all seems about right."

Polite smile right back. "Alright, you have a great day."

"You too."

Queue favorite album from favorite band. Drive over to first day as favorite band's new assistant. And drink piping hot coffee too.

Addition wasn't late on her first day, actually. She managed to clock in while carrying her heavy backpack and a tray filled with coffees before seven thirty, when she was requested to be there. And as soon as she got into the rehearsal space designated for 'iZombie' (favorite band), she was immediately bombarded by bassist Eliza.

"Coffee's here!" she called into the room, snatching her black coffee from the tray. She gave Addison a smile and said, "Thanks intern."

"Oh it was no problem but I'm not…" she walked away before Addison could finish. With a defeated sigh Addison muttered, "an intern."

Eliza was her own unique character, like how everyone was in 'iZombie' (which was in no way related to the ancient television series). Despite popular belief her hair wasn't permanently green, just green for promotional content. Addison's first encounter with the celebrity had shown her that Eliza truly did like to keep her brown curls loose to accentuated the sheer volume of her hair.

From what Addison knew from following all news related to iZombie for several years was that Eliza was the same age as her. She was fiery and quick witted, but was so pretty it made up for it. In the interviews Addison had seen, Eliza was always either really sarcastic and rude or giddy and bright. It was conflicting but nice.

Apparently everyone had gotten in before Addison had arrived. Eliza led her toward the open lounge where they all were—Bonzo the drummer, Zed the lead guitarist, and Lucy the lead singer (sometimes Zed and Eliza would sing, but it was mostly centered on Lucy).

"I come with a cute blonde intern," Eliza announced.

"Oh I'm not an intern," Addison finally said. She smiled sheepishly and offered the coffee. "Assistant to the band."

Eliza just waved her off. "Details details. What's your name, Blondie?"

"Addison."

"Meet Allison."

"Oh it's…" at Eliza's slight glare Addison stopped. "Um, never mind."

"Well intern." Addison glanced at Eliza, seeing her take a long drawn out sip of her coffee before saying, "pass out the coffees."

She was nervous on her first day. Here she was meeting her idols in person, getting the opportunity to work with them everyday. Eliza was easy enough to talk to; she held such a confidence that it was hard to stay shy around her. Bonzo was mute—one of the reasons Addison got the job was that she was amazing in ASL.

Lucy was…she didn't seem to like Addison, just taking her coffee and turning back around in her chair. And then there was Zed. He was easily the heartthrob of the group, all cute and charming and the reason why so many people started listening to iZombie. Addison definitely had a major crush on the hottie (even though Zed and Lucy were dating, going on four years) to the point where she was shaking in her shoes.

And accidentally spilled his coffee on him. She was shaking and tripped and the lid popped off and all the triple mocha frappe was all over his pants and shirt and shoes. Zed screamed and jumped up, Addison gasped and dropped the rest of the cup, and Eliza held back a laugh.

"Oh my god," Addison gasped. "Oh my god I'm so sorry! I'm so stupid! Oh my god!"

She glanced up at Zed with a worried look. "Don't be mad. Please." she whispered.

"Um," Zed chuckled with a strain. "Uh, it's fine. It's…accidents happen, right?"

Then he smiled at her, and holy fuck did her heart melt. Addison let out a tiny, shy laugh. "I guess you already know who I am," he went on. "And you…you're the new assistant?"

Addison felt like if she looked him in the eye or even tried speaking she might just throw up, so instead she nodded quickly.

"Maybe instead of staring at his crotch you should be a good fucking nanny and get some napkins to clean up the mess you made."

Lucy's a dick.

"You're right," Addison said quickly. "Um, I'll go get napkins and…and I'll try to get you a new coffee."

"You don't have to worry about a new coffee," Zed argued.

Addison turned around and went back into the hall. Eliza came out a moment later. "I'll show you around," she offered. "And don't worry about Lucy. She's a bitch to everyone she thinks is trying to steal Zed from her."

"I'm guessing she's not good around fans?" Addison joked.

Eliza laughed heartily, then opened one of the doors. "This is the kitchen, by the way," she said. "The bathroom's in the back of the kitchen."

"Thanks," Addison said with a smile. She grabbed a roll of paper towels and walked back with Eliza to the rehearsal space.

Zed was the only one still in there when they got back, standing in an awkward way while on his phone. He looked up when they came in and grinned slightly. "Eliza, you're needed in the recording booth. Maykel says you need to re-record."

"And what about you? I bet you're all perfect," Eliza mocked.

"I am, actually," Zed stated cockily. "Bonzo and Lucy are also recording, so I get to hang with the new intern for a little."

"Um, I'm not an intern," Addison pointed out.

Eliza gave her a strange look. "No one asked, Abigail."

"It's—"

"See you later Zed," Eliza said and walked away.

Zed just shrugged and a half smile. Once Eliza was gone he looked back at Addison. Addison took it as her opportunity, balling up some paper towels and holding them out for Zed. "Um, a lot spilled on your…on your pants," she offered weakly.

Zed chuckled lightly. "I was a little worried you only spilled my coffee to touch my crotch," he joked.

Addison gave him a nervous smile. He took the wadded up papers, and Addison got down to clean the floor. "If you want, I can go out and get you a new one," she offered.

"It's fine," he said. "It's seriously okay."

It was quiet for a few minutes. Addison busied herself with cleaning the floor and couch he had been sitting on. She refused to look up at him in fear of screwing up again. He was cute and friendly and it was all weirdly intimidating.

After a few minutes Zed stepped out of her work area. Addison thought he had left and found out otherwise when he asked, "What's your real name?"

Addison looked up and spotted him across the room, lounging back in a beanbag. "Um…Addison?"

"Um Addison?" he mocked with a light laugh. "There's nothing to be nervous about, you know. We're just regular people doing what we love everyday."

Addison just nodded. "Do you want a tour of the building?" Zed asked. "Plus some bonding time, 'cause there's no way Eliza's getting you as a best friend."

Addison blinked at him. "You want me as a best friend?"

Zed nodded. "Yes best friend. Now hurry up so I can give you the most spectacular tour ever."

* * *

"Tell me a story."

Addison raised an eyebrow at that. "Tell me about your last birthday? Make it juicy."

"My birthday hasn't passed for this year yet—it's in July," Addison started. "So last year I turned…I turned twenty. Um, my cousin threw me a surprise party at his pool. It was nice, and he didn't invite too many people which was better. Considering I have like four close friends and a few backups just in case, at least."

"Tell me more. I wanna know all the gory details."

Addison just shrugged. "It wasn't some huge extravaganza. I'm just a normal person, not some huge celebrity."

Zed chuckled lightly and held his hands up in mock defense. "This year it'll be epic," he said. "Tell your cousin I've called dibs on party planning. I've got two months to make this awesome."

"You'll be on tour or getting ready for tour, so it doesn't matter."

Zed shrugged. "That's a mere technicality, Addy."

Addison couldn't help but cringe slightly at the nickname, but didn't say anything otherwise.

"So Addison, did you apply for this job because of a secret and undying passion for music? Or a secret and undying crush on an exceptionally handsome guitarist?"

"Oh yes, I make all my financial decisions based off of hot guys," Addison said sarcastically.

Zed laughed and Addison just smiled proudly. Talking to him was surprisingly easy, once she got past how unfathomably cute he was. "In all honestly, I've always wanted to be in the music business," Addison explained. "I did musical theater and choir when I was younger."

"Oh you sing?"

Addison shrugged sheepishly. "Not anymore," she said. "Or at least not for performance. I mean sometimes I post videos on my social media."

Zed grinned. "Gimme your phone."

"Why?"

"I want to see and I'm sure your pages are private."

Addison shrugged again. "Guilty as charged."

She passed him her phone, stopping in the hall as he went to work. After a minute he gasped dramatically, looked up at her excitedly and said, "Holy shit! Bucky Davis—one of _the best_ and hardest to hire dancers—follows you?"

"Oh, yeah," Addison said with a nervous laugh. "He's my cousin. He's the one who threw me the birthday party."

"No way," he exclaimed. "I had no idea I was competing with a Bucky-party."

Addison shrugged awkwardly. Bucky has the power to make people want to be her friend. It was one of the reasons she didn't name drop him in most conversations.

"He's older by like, two years. Treats me like a baby sister."

"That is so cool," Zed said a little breathlessly. He looked up at her with a sort of shy smile. "Um, I know how it gets when people ask like my little sister for favors from me and use her to get to me. But I'd honestly love to meet Bucky someday. Maybe at that super extravagant birthday party I'm throwing you."

"I have like four friends, Zed."

"Make it five."

* * *

The second day was much better than the first. For one, Addison managed to get there before the band but after their manager, Maykel Jacobs. He had given her access to the band's bank and compensated her for the two days of coffee orders she'd paid for. Then he handed her the binder filled with tour dates and venues and had her go into an empty office to work out a road map and arrangements. "That should keep you busy for a few days," Mr. Jacobs said. "I'll have someone come get you when it's time for lunch."

Addison knew the first few dates and venues of their tour had been announced. As she flipped through the binder and opened the map on her laptop, she understood why she was doing this: the western edge of the national tour was already planned out, which left just about the rest of the country.

It was a slow going process. There was a list of cities they wanted to play in and cities that had requested them, some of them highlighted to indicate that they were top priority. By the time her first visitor came she had a headache and was regretting not having any medicine for it.

Luckily it was just Zed. In the twenty four hours since she started working there, he had quickly climbed up to one of her close friends—something that never happened so fast. He texted her nearly all night after they left the building, and had called her in the morning to make sure she was coming back. He even video chatted with her while she was driving in and he was getting ready for his day.

When Zed came into the office, he had a bright smile on his otherwise exhausted face. "Am I glad to see you!" he beamed. "It's been nothing but work all morning."

"You're telling me," Addison grumbled. "Is it time for lunch?"

Zed nodded. "We decided to go out for a change," he said. "There's this Italian restaurant I've been dying to go to, though Lucy wants to go on a date there but I'm not really sure about that."

"Oh you should probably go on a date with your girlfriend," Addison said. "That seems like it might be kinda important."

"We go out!" Zed argued. "We do stay at home date all the time! Plus, she gets a little upset when we get recognized in public."

Addison held back a snort. She saved her progress before shutting down her laptop, grabbed her phone and moved around the desk. "You wouldn't get recognized if you tried disguised yourself," she teased.

Zed scoffed. "I need your help, which is why _I_ came to get you."

"And here I thought you just wanted to see your new friend."

"New _best_ friend. That is a very important keyword." he corrected.

Addison just laughed. She followed him out of the office and down the hall into the room designated as his and Bonzo's dressing room.

"What exactly do you need from me?"

"I read your resume earlier—impressive stuff by the way—and saw that you dabbled in movie and production makeup," Zed explained. "So I ask you to make me unrecognizable."

"You've been famous for two years, you can't disguise yourself?"

Zed shrugged. "It looks better when someone else does it. More…realistic."

Addison held back a smirk. "You got a wig or something, Mr. I'm-Gonna-Dye-My-Hair-Bright-Green?" Addison mocked, making Zed laugh.

He went over to the large mirror and sat in the chair. "There's some hair dye in spray form. It washes out immediately so hopefully it doesn't rain."

"What color would you like?"

"I'm feeling blonde today," he said cheekily, glancing up at her hair.

"Haha," Addison deadpanned. She picked up the blonde spray and covered his forehead with her free hand, then sprayed the color all over his hair until it was mostly blonde—she couldn't get his roots, but luckily they were already turning brown.

"You have contacts?"

Zed opened another drawer, filled with small boxes all labeled different eye colors. "I'm feeling green or blue, what do you think?"

"I think you're trying to copy my style," she told him, picking out the blue box.

"There's some skin additions in one of the drawers," Zed said. "Go wild, I don't care. Just make me unrecognizable. I wanna hug and kiss my girlfriend without worrying about her losing her fucking mind over someone taking pictures of us."

Addison just nodded. She didn't watch him put in the contacts, instead pulling out boxes of makeup and skin. "Lucy seems…like a piece of work," she said hesitantly. She didn't want to comment on someone else's relationship, but was curious as to why there was even anything there.

"She's not that bad." Which meant she was still pretty bad. "She's a little…protective of our relationship."

Addison nodded. She went to work giving him a stubbly beard. "She's not very nice," Addison pointed out. "She hit me with a door yesterday."

"It probably wasn't on purpose," Zed told her.

"You know she threatens little girls—who are barely eight—for gushing over you, hugging you and kissing your cheek."

Zed sighed and Addison knew she had crossed into dangerous territory. "Lucy gets jealous. That's it, okay?"

Addison shrugged awkwardly. She didn't feel up to giving him a speech or telling him what she thought of his relationship. It wasn't her place to speech on his relationship. "I wasn't gonna give you some big speech. I was just curious. Wanted to know the ins and outs of this place."

Zed just gave her a half smile through the mirror.

* * *

"I gotta go. Bucky will be hella pissed if he comes home this weekend and his house is mess."

"Okay, see you tomorrow," Zed said. He waved at her through the camera, then ended their video chat.

"Were you talking to Addison again?" Eliza asked.

"She's really nice. You wouldn't know because she's _my_ best friend."

Eliza rolled her eyes which Zed didn't see because he was busy going through Addison's Instagram. "She was supposed to be _my_ best friend but you stole her because you have a death wish."

"And how exactly do I do that?"

"Maybe not go through her Instagram and smile at her pictures as if you liked her."

"I _do_ like her. She's my best friend."

Eliza snatched his phone up, making him jump in surprise. "Hey!" He looked at her in protest.

"Dude! You're falling for her hard! I've seen you like this before, when you first met Lucy. Addison is pretty and nice and funny and you're falling for her hard. And you need to stop."

Zed rolled his eyes. "I don't like Addison like that," he told her. "She's _just_ my friend."

"Zed, I've known you since you were six. I know when you like someone. I know when you _really_ like someone. And I see the way you look at Addison, and I know you _really_ like here." Eliza sighed and fluffed her curls.

"That's really bad," she said in a pleading tone, "because Lucy is fucking psychotic, and something really bad will happen when you both realize you have a crush on Addison."

Zed understood what she was saying. "Don't worry, E," he told her. "I'm happy with Lucy. I wouldn't jeopardize that."

"Lucy's bad news," Eliza stated, as if it wasn't something she'd said before.

Zed rolled his eyes. "You may not like her but I do, okay? She's my girlfriend."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to say something."

"What's stopping you?" Zed muttered. "You've kinda been bashing all my life choices today."

Eliza laughed drily. "Anyway, I'd like to say that maybe you're just comfortable where you are. Like, you're just used to being with Lucy and your fine with it. And you're too much of a Zed to realize just how much of a bad person she is."

"She's not…she's not horrible."

"But you admit she's just a bit mean?"

"Let's just order food."

* * *

Four days later, Addison was woken up at three in the morning. She hadn't realized that her and Zed were at the level of friendship where they called each other in the middle of the night, and was surprised when the adorable magazine photo of him she had as his contact picture flashed on her phone screen.

She answered groggily. Zed was talking quickly in a state of panic. "I know it's late but please don't hang up," he rushed out. "You'll probably hear more about it in the morning honestly."

Addison groaned and rubbed her eyes. "What's wrong?" she said, followed by a yawn.

"Lucy tried to kill me," he stated. "She's on her way to jail, don't worry. I'm on my way to the hospital but I just needed to talk to you."

Addison groaned slightly and sat up in bed. "Have you called anyone else?"

"No."

"Not even Eliza? Not Bonzo?"

"I nearly lost my life, Addison."

Addison raised her eyebrows even though Zed couldn't see. "For real? Not, like, you being overdramatic?"

"Yes for real," Zed stated. "She beat me up and then tried to kill me with fire!"

"What the fuck," she muttered. She sat up completely and crawled out of her covers. "Are you going to Memorial West or Jackson?"

"Addison, I'm a celebrity."

She nodded as she moved toward her drawers. "Okay I'm on my way," she said. "Fake name?"

"Yeah," he breathed out. After a pause, he added quietly, "Thank you."

"What're best friends for?"

"Can you…can you stay on the line with me?"

Addison had never heard Zed sound so small and so…afraid before. He was always so calm and cool and collected, never freaking out no matter how insane the situation. It scared her to hear him like that.

"Yeah," she told him. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"Not over the phone," he said uncomfortably. "I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"That's fine." She grabbed her sneakers and keys on her way out then made her way to her car. She was fine with walking in just her socks on the pavement until she could put Zed over the speaker in her car.

They talked for a few more minutes, Addison keeping the conversation light. Then when she was about halfway to the hospital, Zed said to her, "I have to go. We're nearly there and they want to sedate me before we get inside."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Bye Addison," Zed said tiredly. "Thank you."

After Zed hung up, Addison called Eliza. She got to the emergency room not long after, following through the normal procedures. She got sent to a waiting room in the post-anesthesia care unit. In less than half an hour, Eliza and Bonzo showed up.

"What happened to Zed?" Eliza asked.

"All he told me was that Lucy tried to kill him," Addison stated. "And that he was coming here."

Eliza cursed under her breath. She looked up at Addison and Bonzo and said, "I always knew that bitch was fucking insane. I never thought she'd try to kill him though."

"Where's Mr. Jacobs?" Addison asked.

 **He went to check on Lucy at the police station.** Bonzo signed.

Addison just sighed.

"Did he tell you what she did to him?" Eliza asked. "And why did he call _you_? No offense or anything."

"No, I get it," she said. "You've known him longer. And I honestly have no idea why he called. He said that I was on the top of his contacts and all, so it was easier. I was probably in his recents—we were FaceTiming earlier today."

Bonzo signed something she didn't catch, considering it was in the corner of her eyes. Eliza snorted in response.

"Zed told me that Lucy beat him up and tried to set him on fire," Addison explained. "That's all I know. I haven't seen him yet. But I think he'll be fine, considering the EMTs let him make a phone call."

"Did he say anything else?"

Addison shook her head. "Granted, I was half asleep so I might've missed some stuff in the beginning." Eliza rolled her eyes, prompting Addison to explain in a rush, "I was wide awake once he mentioned the whole 'near-death' thing! And I'm pretty sure that was early in the conversation!"

"So what now? We just sit here and wait?"

Addison nodded. "They told me that they sedated him to check his respiration, his heart, brain damage, and for an X-ray. It could a while before he gets out, and at least a few hours for the anesthesia to wear off."

 **I have blankets in my car** , Bonzo signed.

"Why?" Eliza asked. "Actually, I don't care. You go get those, and me and Alyssa will set up camp in here."

Bonzo nodded and left the waiting room. Once he was gone, Eliza turned and gave Addison a serious look. "What were you and Zed FaceTiming about?" she asked.

Addison shrugged. "Nonsense," she said.

"Did Lucy see you guys?"

Addison nodded. "You don't think…" she started, but Eliza nodded before she could finish.

"I told you she's a jealous bitch," Eliza stated. "She is _literally_ insane."

"But why would she hurt Zed?"

"Because he's been flirting with you!" Eliza exclaimed. "He doesn't know he's flirting, or he doesn't even realize he's developing feelings for you."

"That's insane," Addison stated. "Zed isn't flirting with me, and Lucy didn't hurt him because of me."

"Lucy's psychotic!" Eliza hissed. "She's hot and all, but batshit _crazy_!"

"She's a little crazy, sure, but she isn't jealous of me," Addison stated. "There's nothing special about me. I am the embodiment of a basic white girl."

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she grumbled. "I am not here to explain human attraction to you. I have an _actual_ problem."

* * *

They were woken up at the crack of dawn the next morning. Mr. Jacobs had pulled the blinds open and called for them all to wake up.

It was earlier and Addison felt gross from sleeping on a couch all night. Still, Mr. Jacobs went ahead like he'd been up for hours, which was a big possibility. "Okay, things are looking bad.".

That was usually her cue to leave, considering she wasn't yet ready for confidential band information. Addison yawned and stretched her arms behind her back, pulling her sleeves down over her arms. "You guys want me to coffee?"

"My personal assistant is bringing some up," Mr. Jacobs said. "Besides you need to be here. You were the last person to talk to both Zed and Lucy, and subsequently the first person Zed informed. Clearly, you know something, and the police would like to speak to you."

Addison's eyes widened. "Me?"

Mr. Jacobs nodded. "Lucy mentioned you were on video call with Zed when she got home. I just explained this."

Eliza got up and left the waiting room with her phone ringing. Before the door closed a nurse came in. "You're all here for Mr. Greene?" he asked.

"Yes sir," Mr. Jacobs said. "How's his condition?"

"Stable," the nurse said. "He should be waking soon, so I can take you to his room for you all to see him and for a full debriefing by Dr. Sanchez."

They left the waiting room and followed the male nurse down the hallway. Eliza walked up to Addison, nudging her shoulder lightly. "That was his sister calling me," she whispered. "Her and their dad are trying to get a flight down to see him."

Addison nodded in response. "I'm a little scared to see him," Eliza went on. "From what you told us, it sounds bad. I-I hate seeing my best friend hurting."

Addison then said, "They were dating for four years. The heartache would hurt way worse than anything else."

Eliza shrugged. The nurse showed them which room was his before heading off, most likely to deal with another patient.

"When you get in there, do not mention Lucy or anything that happened, okay?" Mr. Jacobs said. "You guys need to be there for him as his friend. When he's ready, he'll tell us his side of what happened."

 **What did Lucy tell you?** Bonzo signed.

Mr. Jacobs sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Zed wanted to break up with her," he said. Eliza pinched Addison's side. "And-and she got angry and did some unspeakable things to him because she was angry. She regrets her decision but will plead guilty in court."

"Did she tell you what unspeakable things?" Eliza pried. She glanced around at them before adding, "So we aren't surprised when we see Zed."

"Domestic abuse and aggravated arson are her charges," Mr. Jacobs explained. "They're still waiting for a report from the hospital to find the full extent of harm on Zed."

"Now, we won't mention any of it to Zed," he reminded them. "Surround him with friends and people who care, at least until his actual family gets here."

Everyone nodded. Mr. Jacobs nodded then opened the door, letting Eliza and Bonzo go in, then Addison before going in himself.

Addison didn't know what she expected. Certainly not him to be covered in bandages and bruises. His mouth was covered by a noisy bipap, his nose and cheek dark with sizable bruises and his forehead covered in tape and stitches. Addison assumed that most of the bandages were covering burn marks from the fire.

"What the hell," Eliza gasped. She looked at Addison and said in a serious tone with a hard face, "I swear to god the next time I see that bitch I'll kill her myself."

"Eliza," Mr. Jacobs said warningly.

Bonzo signed, furiously and too fast for Addison to understand. Her eyes were focused on Zed laying in the hospital bed, slowly stirring in his sleep. Cautiously, she stepped toward the bed until she was by his head. His eyes fluttered open slowly and Addison reached down and lifted the bipap off of his face.

"Hey," she said softly. "Lift up your head, okay?"

"What are you doing?" Eliza questioned.

Addison ignored her. Zed lifted his head slightly and Addison loosened the straps around his head to pull it off.

"You can't just remove medical devices. He probably needs that." Eliza protested.

"Does that feel better?" Addison asked Zed.

"Yeah," Zed rasped out. He managed to give her a smile. "I'm glad you made it."

Addison gave him a small smile. "I'm glad your okay."

Zed just groaned in response. "I wouldn't say that," he joked. "Anyone else here with you?"

Addison nodded and stepped to the side so as to not obscure his view of the room. His face broke into a grin at the sight of his friends. "What time is it 'cause I know neither of you get up before ten."

"It's five in the fucking morning," Eliza grumbled. "The sun's barely up!"

Zed chuckled hoarsely, leading into a rough cough. Addison turned around and picked up the squirt bottle of water from the tray and holding it in front of him.

"Drink some water," she told him. She put the straw against his lips to let him know she was about to squirt it in before doing just that.

"How do you know what your doing?"

"I volunteered in the hospital in high school," Addison said. "The bipap makes it hard to talk and he doesn't really need it. It was just a precaution for when he was unconscious, in case his lungs failed or some shit."

"Where do you find these people, Maykel?" Eliza muttered.

Addison put the water bottle back on the food tray. "Are you in pain?" she asked him.

"Mostly numb and kinda floaty," Zed said. "Feels like I've been drinking, but not enough to get blackout drunk and definitely not tipsy."

"You're not old enough to drink," Mr. Jacobs reminded them. "You shouldn't tell me about your drinking escapades."

"I'm twenty-one, Maykel," Zed stated. "Since two months ago."

"I'm the only one who's still twenty," Eliza said.

"I'm also twenty," Addison said offhandedly.

Zed grinned and said, "I'm planning her super-awesome-better-than-her-cousin's birthday bash," he said proudly.

Addison smiled slightly. "It doesn't have to be big, I don't mind a small party with my five friends."

Zed rolled his eyes with a smile. "It'll be huge, you're gonna love it."

He groaned and shifted uncomfortably in his bed. "I wanna sit up," he complained.

Addison moved to the side of his bed. "Let's check your charts, make sure you don't have any injuries that'd prevent that."

"I don't."

"You might," Addison argued.

"Addison," Maykel said warningly.

"I'm just saying," she added with a shrug. "You may have been hurt in places you didn't realize, due to adrenaline, hormonal imbalance, or stress."

"Girl's fucking smart," Eliza muttered.

"High school is four years. When did you have time to do all these things?" Eliza asked.

"Oh, the school I went to was from seventh to twelfth grade," Addison explained. "So technically it was a middle and high school, but I just refer to it all as one."

"And she went to an arts school," Zed added from his spot on the bed.

"Oh did you?"

Addison nodded a bit uncomfortably. She didn't want to talk about her past ever. But she also knew if they kept asking about her they could continue to avoid talking about what had happened last night.

"And what college did you go to?" Eliza asked the exact question Addison was hoping she wouldn't have to answer.

"I-I didn't go to college," she said a bit weakly.

"What'd you do?" Eliza pried. "You know, between the years after graduating and now?"

"I…traveled," Addison lied. Well, half of it was true. She _did_ travel, just not in the sense she was letting on.

"Where?"

"Around."

"E," Zed said before Eliza could ask anything else. "I think the real question is where's the food around here?"

Eliza shrugged and Addison let out a breath of relief. She looked at Zed and mouthed 'thank you', to which he just nodded and smiled in understanding. He didn't know why the conversation had made her uncomfortable but he knew that they were pushing it, and for that she was grateful.

* * *

It wasn't until later that day when Zed shared the story of what happened. They had to wait for the investigators to show up to record Zed's side of the story. There were two, Detectives Harrison and Ryan, both burly and frightening men. Addison did her best to keep her distance from them, sitting on the far side of the room and making herself as invisible as possible.

"Start from when the suspect got home," Detective Harrison instructed.

"I was talking to Addison," Zed said, gesturing vaguely in her direction. "And Lucy told me to hang up. She started telling me about her day—I didn't ask, but she felt like I needed to know, then I told Lucy that I wanted to break up, and she got _very_ angry."

"Did she say anything to you?"

Zed nodded. "She accused me of cheating on her and said I only wanted to break up because I felt guilty. I told her that I never cheated on her, but not in so many words. I brought up the time she screwed Tommy Marcos last year that she thought I didn't know about. We fought and argued for like, ten minutes. Then I told her I was leaving."

"You left in the middle of a fight?" Eliza asked.

"I wanted to cool off," Zed explained. "I was gonna text Addison to get some ice cream and meet me at the studio so we could mess around with the instruments and eat ice cream until we were sick. Before I could leave, she hit me over the head with this book on the coffee table. I couldn't even fight back 'cause she caught me by surprise. Lucy was screaming at me, calling me all these names as she beat me shitless. 'You scumbag', 'you lousy douche', 'you wanna fuck everyone you meet you absolute lowlife'. Um…she took this glass bowl and broke it over my side. Lucy mostly kicked me and hit me until I nearly blacked out."

Zed took a shaky breath and leaned back against the bed. Eliza put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Take your time, Z," she said in a surprisingly gentle voice.

"Show me the message on your phone," Detective Harrison asked. "The one you were planning on sending to Addison."

Eliza picked up Zed's phone, unlocked it and passed it over to the investigator. Addison could see burn spots on his screen, as well as the spiderwebbed cracks all over.

"Then…" Zed said, pausing a second to make sure he was being heard. "Then she forced me into the hall closet. I can still hear her voice in my head: 'You lying piece of shit. You want to break up with me, you lose _fucking everything_.' I couldn't even move for a few minutes, I was in so much pain. And then I smelt the smoke. I panicked and tried to get out, but she locked the door. The knob wouldn't even twist. I was so scared. One of the neighbors called 9-1-1 and fire rescue was there within seconds. It felt like an eternity, trying to break out. I thought I was gonna die in there. They, uh, managed to get me out, a few burns here and there. Then I called Addison, 'cause I was freaking out and she always manages to calm me down. Addison called…"

"I called Eliza, who called Bonzo and Mr. Jacobs," Addison finished.

Detectives Harrison and Ryan stood up on the notion that they were finished. "We have a few questions," Detective Ryan said. "But we'll let you rest for a bit, Mr. Necrodopolus. We'd like to talk with your friends, starting with…Addison Davis."

Harrison passed Eliza the phone back. "Come with us," he said to Addison.

She wasn't really sure why she was being investigated. She'd had this job for almost a week and all this was happening. Any sane person would quit and find a practical job at this point.

They took Addison into a small and empty waiting room. "What's your relationship like with Mr. Necrodopolus?" Harrison asked.

"If you're asking if he was having an affair with me, the answer is no," Addison stated.

"We just want to know your relationship," Ryan explained. "How you feel about it, how you two interact."

Addison sighed slowly. "I started this job at the beginning of the week," she explained. "iZombie is like, my favorite band. And I definitely had the sort of crush on Zed that most huge fans do. It was like meeting my idols. But I knew he was in a relationship and nothing would ever happen between us, because he's a huge celebrity and I don't even have a crush I just idolize him."

"And how do you two interact with each other?"

"He acts like he's known me for years," Addison said. "Him and Eliza were fighting over being my best friend. He only won because he got to spend more time with me while Eliza was working. And…I don't have a lot of friends but being friends with Zed just feels so easy and right. In a weird way."

"And your relationship with Lucinda Tate?"

Addison scoffed in a sort of amused way. "Lucy _hates_ me. She thinks I'm trying to steal her boyfriend. She's expressed her displeasure toward me _several_ times."

"Has she ever physical attacked you?"

Addison shrugged. "She hit me with a door once, but it barely hurt and could just be chalked down to an accident. She's definitely threatened me. Twice, I think."

"Threatened you?" Harrison asked. Addison nodded. "How so?"

"On my first day she told me 'Keep it in your pants you whore or I will end you'," Addison said. "That was after Zed had taken me on a tour of the building. Then the second time was yesterday, when she got home and saw me FaceTiming Zed. She was behind him and made a slitting throat motion. And she mouthed 'I will end you'. Eliza told me the very first day that she was a bitch to anyone she thought was trying to steal Zed from her, but I really wasn't."

"If you don't mind, we'd like to see the chain of messages between you and Mr. Necrodopolus," Ryan asked. Addison nodded and unlocked her phone. She didn't have anything to hide on her phone and felt fine with them checking it.

"Ms. Tate also mentioned social media." Harrison added.

"Zed followed me on Instagram," Addison explained with an eye roll. "He keeps liking my posts from liking six months ago. It's not even serious, but Lucy told him to block me and he said no and she got all angry. Then tried to get into my phone and block him from my side."

They nodded and took note of everything she was saying. "I believe that's all for now," Harrison said. He passed her back her phone then dismissed her from the room.

* * *

Eliza and Bonzo were grounded for the time being. No social media, no public appearances, no leaving their respective homes. Which also meant they couldn't see Zed in the hospital, or Lucy in prison.

Addison, on the other hand, wasn't. She stayed with Zed nearly throughout his whole stay in the hospital. It was mostly sitting around and not doing anything besides watch him sleep and recover. At the end of his first day in the hospital, he asked Addison to help him make a video for his fans.

"Are you sure Mr. Jacobs would be fine with it?"

"Okay first of all, you don't have to keep calling him Mr. Jacobs," Zed told her. "And second of all, I already asked."

Addison giggled a little. "You asked for permission, huh?"

"I don't wanna lose my contract, I gotta eat somehow," Zed said, though he was grinning. "Maykel said it's fine, but _you_ can't be in the video. No one knows you work for us, and he wants to keep it that way for as long as possible."

Addison nodded. "What're you gonna say?" she asked.

"Well, I'm gonna smile, because everyone loves it when I smile."

"And then I'm gonna say 'Thank you all for the love and support I've been receiving all day. I guarantee I've seen it all and I'm just not in any condition to respond right now.' And then I'm gonna blow a kiss and wave and that'll be it."

Addison couldn't help but grin. "You smooth motherfucker."

* * *

The next morning Zed's family came to visit him. His dad was just an average guy with two extremely talented kids. Zed's little sister Zoey was a model, dancer, and child actress. She was adorable and sweet and innocent, everything people loved in child celebrities.

Addison was sitting on the side of his bed and petting his hair when they came in that morning. It was more like Zoey came barreling in, charging at full speed to her brother's bedside. She only stopped when she nearly tripped over one of the cords on the floor.

Zed was still grinning widely. "Zoey," he said with mild surprise. "I thought you guys were still at home?"

"You think I wouldn't come to L.A. when my son's in the hospital?"

Zed sat up a little and looked at his dad as he came in. "How'd you even know? I mean, I didn't call you."

"It's all over the internet, Zed," Zoey said. "Yesterday morning TMZ posted about what happened. All they said was that Lucy went psycho and tried to kill you. Then this morning, while we were with Eliza, they released the 9-1-1 call your neighbors made."

"You know they're releasing shit as they find more out," Addison told him. "This is TMZ we're talking about."

All three of the Necrodopoluses looked at Addison curiously. "You're Addison, right?" Zoey asked.

Addison nodded. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Zed keeps sending me screen recordings of you singing," Zoey said with a fond eye roll. "He doesn't deserve social media."

Addison giggled slightly. She got off the bed and shouldered her bag. "Since you guys are here I'm gonna go home," she said. "You should spend all day with Zed if you need."

"Oh, you don't have to go," Zed told her.

"Nah, I gotta shower and shit," Addison waved him off. "I'll be back later, don't worry. I am your babysitter."

"Addy, could you give us a nice little family photo before you go?" Zed asked. "My baby sister is so cute. And the man who made us both is also rather handsome."

Addison couldn't help but smile slightly. The closest she was with her family was her cousin Bucky, who she rarely ever saw due to his work. It was nice to see another family so close and loving.

* * *

Zoey and Zevon left the next day, only hours before Zed was discharged.

If he weren't Zed Necrodopolus, lead guitarist of iZombie, he'd get to stay with his friends while he healed and waited to be called in on Lucy's trial. But he needed to keep a low profile. Eliza and Bonzo were camping out together at Eliza's place which was swamped with paparazzi. No one knew where Zed was, and no one knew who Addison was. So, in the mind of their manager, it made sense for Addison to babysit Zed at her place until the trial in three days.

The first day was horrible. Zed complained constantly from being uncomfortable or in pain or needing to scratch under his bandages. Then he was hungry or bored or tired.

The second day was much more successful. They spent most of the morning asleep. Addison was 'pleasantly' woken up by her cousin standing over her on the couch, shouting in her ear. "Addison!"

She shrieked and rolled off the couch, then groaned. "What the hell!" she exclaimed. She glared at his smug and grinning face.

"Morning cuz!" Bucky Davis exclaimed excitedly. "Thought I'd pay my favorite family member a visit in, I dunno, my house."

Addison rolled her eyes and got to her feet. "Why're you on the couch?" Bucky asked.

Addison waved for him to follow her. She opened her room door and step inside, urging Bucky to keep quiet as they went. Zed was knocked out in her bed and tangled in the sheets, snoring softly on her pillow.

"Huh," Bucky muttered. "I never would've thought my baby cuz was the slut who broke up Zed and Lucy."

"She tried to kill him, I didn't break them up," Addison whispered harshly. "He's here because there are cameras swarming his friends' houses and no one knows about my employment with them. No one but you, at least."

Bucky nodded and left the room and Addison followed him to the kitchen.

"This doesn't look good," Bucky told her. "You shouldn't get involved with him. I know guys like him, and they're _bad_ news."

Addison rolled her eyes. "He's my friend," she said. "I've known him for literally a week. Nothing's going on, and nothing ever will."

Bucky nodded and let out a breath of relief. "There's this fansite that saw the picture Zed put on his story yesterday. You're in the reflection, but it's just your hair and jacket. If they found out it was you, Addy, your life would be over. It is _not_ fun being famous, okay? Especially considering you're the girl who ruined Zed and Lucy."

"Lucy was fucking insane," Addison argued. "She threatened me on my first day. I nearly peed my pants! I say, good riddance of the psychopath. She was no good for him."

"And you are?"

"I-I didn't say that," Addison stammered. "What happened was that Lucy got angry 'cause me and Zed were video chatting. And that Zed wanted to break up. But not because of me!"

"Yes because of you!" Bucky exclaimed.

"There's nothing special about me, Bucky! I couldn't get a date before I can't get one now! Why the fuck would anything change!"

Bucky sighed defeatedly. "Addy I don't want you getting hurt again," he said to her. "You…you're my best friend. I'd hate it if anybody were to hurt you."

Addison looked down, ashamed. "I know, Bucky." She knew what he was talking about, understood his worry.

He turned away from her and to her fridge. "I'll make you guys breakfast," he said to change the subject. "You should go wake up Zed."

* * *

Zed fangirled hard for Bucky. Luckily, the professional dancer had only stayed for a few hours on Saturday, before heading off to Florida. After that, they spent most of the weekend sitting around and watching television or making desserts.

Sunday afternoon was slow and boring, to say the least. "There's nothing on," Zed whined for the third time in the hour.

"You could try reading a book, like I'm trying to do."

"Reading is boring," he told her. "I…I wanna play music. Do you have a guitar?"

Addison nodded offhandedly, her eyes fanning over the words on screen. "I have a guitar and a baby grand. I play both as well. You know this."

Zed snatched her laptop from her hands and exclaimed, "Then why are we sitting here reading? Let's play some tunes!"

Addison rolled her eyes and reached for her book, to which Zed stretched it out on his other side. "Don't try this," he warned. "You're five feet tall you know you'll lose once I stand up."

Addison pouted, knowing he was right. "I wanna read. Besides I'm…I'm upset with my piano."

"Your upset with your piano?" Zed asked skeptically. Addison nodded. "Am I going to regret asking why?"

She cracked a grin and said, "I had like four broken hammers. Do you know how much it costs to repair a baby grand?"

Zed shook his head. "Too much."

"And I was in the middle of a new cover," Addison went on.

"What song?"

" _Heavy_ by Linkin Park—"

"and Kiiara," Zed finished. "Can I hear it? You have such a beautiful voice."

Addison got up from the couch and moved to the door of her music room, going quickly to hide her blush. It was just a simple compliment that didn't mean anything.

Zed got up and followed her into the next room. "Is this a spare bedroom?" he asked.

"Yeah," she responded. "I made it into a music room because I don't have people over that often."

She went to the middle of the room and pulled the sheet from her piano. She then lifted the top of the bench and pulled out her sheet music, placed it on top then closed it and sat down.

"Have a seat," she told him. "Try not to ruin anything."

She didn't bother watching as he made his way to her, squeezing onto the bench so that their thighs were touching. "Why so much sheet music? Do you write originals?"

Addison snorted. "One request at a time," she told him. "I play what I've got for _Heavy_ , then you can ask more questions."

Zed nodded and watched her as she sifted through sheet music, pulling several sheets out of the stack and lining them up on the music rack. "It's still in the works," she reminded him. "I wasn't very far when it broke on me."

Zed nodded again and watched her play a few rusty notes as a warm up. "Um, just so you know, I play the notes of the actual words so I know what key I need to sing in," she told him.

"Yeah yeah," Zed said, nudging her shoulder. "Your creative process is your creative process. I just wanna hear you sing."

"Okay." Addison took a deep breath, then played the first chord—D-flat, F-sharp, and A. She played the background notes for a little, then actually went into the song.

 _I don't like my mind right now  
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary  
Wish that I could slow things down  
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic_

 _And I drive myself crazy  
Thinking everything's about me  
Yeah, I drive myself crazy  
'Cause I can't escape the gravity_

 _I'm holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?  
Holding on  
So much more than I can carry  
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down  
If I just let go, I'd be set free  
Holding on  
Why is everything so heavy?_

"And, uh," she stammered, hitting a few mindless keys before continuing, "that's how far I was before my stupid piano broke."

Zed didn't say anything and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Instead she played the scales, from C-scale and working her way up to the B-scale, then doing them backwards.

Halfway through her backwards version of the D-scale, Zed said softly, "You're really good."

Addison looked up at him and had to bite her tongue to keep from saying anything stupid. He was looking at her in complete wonder and awe, like she was the only thing—the only person—in the world that mattered.

"Nearly brought me to tears too," he added, laughing at little at the end. "I…I can't wait until you finish. I'm excited to hear the rest."

Addison felt her cheeks heat up. She focused her attention on the sheet music. "Do you write any originals?" Zed asked. "I…I see all this sheet music and I was just wondering."

Addison nodded. She swapped the sheet music for a folder sitting on top of her piano, passing it to Zed. "They're not full songs," she explained. "I can write the music, no problem, and sometimes get a good chorus or hook and maybe a few versus but that's about it."

She watched as he flipped through the pages, then stopped on a newer and messier piece. " _Someday_? It's got like, zero words."

Addison nodded, shrugged, and pushed a hair behind her ear. "It's…I picture it as a duet," she told him. "So like the first part would be the guy's part that I can't write for the life of me. I can't even write the girl's part, there's barely any."

"It's a catchy tune," he admitted.

Zed put the folder on the stand and placed his hands on the keys, playing the first few notes. "It's good," he decided. "I like it. Let's finish it."

"Excuse me?"

Zed shrugged. "Let's write some music, Addy. You should finish your song, plus I've got the creative bug. Me and Lucy would usually write around this time of the month, 'cause she gets super creative when she gets her period for some odd reason."

Addison cringed. "I'll write songs with you, but please don't overshare again."

Zed laughed lightly which made Addison smile. "Okay, play me what you have so far."

* * *

 **Zed 1:47 pm**

All these potential girls suck. They're all terrible and their voices are graining. Two have already sexually assaulted me.

 **Zed 1:50 pm**

Basically I wish you were here

 **Zed 2:21 pm**

I have Someday stuck in my head

 **Zed 2:29 pm**

We're on lunch break and one of the potentials broke into our break room. So…I'm seriously considering requesting you to audition. You're ten times better than these skanks.

 **Addison 3:01 pm**

Don't you dare

 **Addison 3:02 pm**

Stop being an entitled asshole and warm up. There's gotta be someone there that's good.

 **Zed 3:04 pm**

You…YOU GOT WHAT I NEED

 **Addison 3:06 pm**

I'm being serious. I'm not rescheduling your tour again.

 **Zed 4:10 pm**

I don't appreciate being forced to kiss people (I was assaulted AGAIN)

 **Addison 6:02 pm**

Also, I have officially finished rescheduling all of your shows.

* * *

Six days later, and it was all over. Lucy was in jail, twenty-five to life. The remaining members of iZombie were moved into a house together, a few blocks away from where Addison lived. They were all busy in their own way: Addison had been tasked with pushing all of their tour dates to the last full week of July, while the members of iZombie were on the hunt for a replacement singer.

The week before the beginning of June, Addison had been called back into the studio. Mr. Jacobs had sent her a revised coffee orders list. They either hadn't picked a new singer or their new singer didn't drink coffee.

She didn't spill any coffee that time, but pretended to and laughed with Zed about it. "How are auditions going?" Addison asked.

"Horrible!" Eliza shouted from across the room. "I got groped yesterday! Groped! She felt all over my tits! It was uncomfortable and weird!"

Addison laughed and elbowed Zed in the side. "At least you're not the only one getting molested around here."

"It's not funny!" Zed exclaimed in frustration despite his smile.

Addison grinned and sipped her coffee. "So, what's on today's agenda?" she asked.

Eliza raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding?"

"About?"

Instead of answering her, Eliza looked at Zed and asked, "She doesn't know?"

"I figured Addison would be better off in the dark."

"What are you talking about?"

Zed gave her a knowing and nervous look. "I think you know."

Addison's face fell at the thought. "No."

Zed nodded and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Surprise?"

Addison shook her head. "No. No, no, no, no, no."

"Addy—"

"No!" Addison shouted. Zed stood up and she stepped back, putting distance between herself and him. "No! I-I told you I didn't want to do it! I _told_ you, Zed! I won't do it! You can't make me!"

 _Mommy I'm scared_.

"Addison it's not that bad," Zed told her, try to talk her down and persuade her. "You just sing a few lines for us. And you're great, you'll do amazing."

 _Don't worry sweetie, you'll be amazing_.

Addison felt like crying then. She pulled on her sleeves and covered her ears and moved toward the door. "Stop it. I-I won't do it! Not again!"

Zed took a few steps toward her and she backed up until she was pressed against the wall. "Addison," he said gently. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

 _There's nothing to be scared of, Sweetie._

She slid down the her all until she was curled up in the corner. "I'll be be right there with you." Her wrists itched in the worst way possible, the fabric of her long sleeve irritating them.

 _Daddy and I will be right there in the front row, cheering you on_.

Zed crouched down in front of her. "Addison, look at me," he told her. Slowly and reluctantly, Addison opened her eyes to look at him. "You're perfect for this. There's no one else I know who could do what you can. You're spectacular, and I know you can crush it."

He dropped his voice so he was whispering and only she could hear. "They just wanna make sure your voice is legit is all. I've already shown 'em videos of you singing and they wanna know it's not fake. That's all. We can sing together if that'd make you feel better."

"I…I didn't bring my sheet music," she said lamely, trying her best to get out of the situation at hand.

She wasn't scared of performing, per say. She was more afraid of auditions, where everything was in the balance and could be ruined by one wrong note, one awkward key change, one voice crack. One small little imperfection and her entire life would be upheavaled and ruined because she couldn't just be _perfect_.

"I know you have in your car, you always do." Zed then asked her, "Are you gonna sing? 'Cause I really want you to at least try. But if you don't want to, I won't make you."

"I…I'll try," she conceded.

Zed's face broke into a contagious grin and Addison had to bite her lip to keep from smiling too widely.

"I only have _Someday_."

"You're gonna play it?" Zed asked.

"It's the only song I've spent more than a few days rehearsing."

Zed nodded, then stood up and extended his hand to her, which she graciously took and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "We're going to the garage," Zed said to the others. "We'll be back in like, five minutes."

"Meet you in the audition room?" Eliza asked.

Zed nodded and led Addison out of the room, walking out from their floor and toward the garage. "Do you have stage fright?" Zed asked. "I thought you went to a music school."

"I don't have stage fright," Addison argued. She rubbed her arms nervously, feeling the itch spread up to her elbows. "It's just…auditions freak me out."

Zed squeezed her hand as they stepped into the garage. "You'll do great. I'll be cheering you on, don't worry."

Addison ducked her head down to hide her blush, then pulled her hoodie over her ears. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys, unlocking her car and dropping Zed's hand to climb inside. She was inside for a few seconds before Zed cursed and pushed her in further.

"Paparazzi," he whispered as he crawled in and closed the door. "Shit shit shit."

Addison crawled over the center console and into the passenger seat. "Get in the back," she told him in a rushed whisper. "There's a blanket there you can hide under."

Zed ducked into the backseat and onto the floor, pulling the blanket over his body. "Did they see you?" Addison whispered, not turning to make it obvious.

"They saw me but I don't think they know I'm in here," Zed whispered back. "This is so bad. Keep looking for your music. Try not to make it obvious there's someone back here."

Addison opened her glovebox and let the papers inside spill out. It didn't take long for her to sort through them and collect the sheets filled with notes and lyrics. "I've found it, now what?" she whispered.

"Toss your keys back here," Zed told her. "Go back inside, I'll be there soon. Don't talk to them if they try to talk to you. Don't say anything, and if they start following you skip our floor."

Addison nodded though he couldn't see. She turned on the car, cracked a window open, then dropped her keys in the backseat and climbed out of the car.

* * *

"Where's Zed?"

"He saw the paparazzi so he's hiding in my car," Addison stated.

"Shit, really?"

Addison nodded. She sat down on the piano bench and started lining up her sheet music. Zed came seconds later, a little out of breath and with one of Addison's old beanies covering all of his hair. Eliza and Bonzo got up and moved to their friend.

"Hey dude, you good?" Eliza asked.

Zed nodded. "Yeah, I found this hat on the floor of Addison's car and covered my hair, then ducked out and left. I don't think they saw me, but I did a few wrong turns just in case."

He moved around his friends and to Addison, slipping her cap off of his head and offering it to her. "Did you get in okay?" he asked.

Addison nodded. "Did you?"

Zed nodded. "Yeah, I don't think they saw me," he said. "I'm really sorry about that."

"Your acting like I'm the celebrity," Addison said. "They don't know who I am, and it'd take a lot of digging to find out."

Eliza moved over and stepped between the pair. "Once they figure it out, you're gonna be in a hellstorm. Which is why you aren't supposed to be seen here, especially not with 'recently single Zed Necrodopolus'. It'll be even worse than a hellstorm. It'll be a hellstorm on fire with heaping amounts of flooding and rain."

Addison wanted to point out that the rain would put out the fire but decided against it, instead nodding along. "I'll be more careful from now on," she told her.

Eliza rolled her eyes and went across the room and back to her table. Bonzo joined her a second later, and Zed sat down next to Addison on the bench.

"Usually Maykel would be here, but he's got a meeting," Zed told her. "But you got this. You've already signed the same disclosure as the rest of us, and I know you're amazing. Just sing, okay?"

Addison nodded, keeping up her facade of calmness. Without turning toward Eliza and Bonzo, she announced to them, "The way I wrote it, the piano will be playing the music in the background while also playing the notes of the words."

"Oh, you're playing an original?" Eliza asked.

Addison nodded. "I wrote the music last year and some of the words, and Zed helped me finish it a few weeks ago."

She waited a beat, then placed her hands on the first keys. The room was unnervingly silent. Addison glanced over to make sure Zed had followed through on his promise, to see if he was still there for her.

The intro started with a D-chord. Addison couldn't bring herself to look at Eliza or Bonzo, or even Zed. They were all watching her as she played, judging and taking note on everything she did. She swallowed her nerves and sang, quiet and barely heard, " _Oh. La la la la la. Oh, yeah._ "

Addison focused on the sheet music, though she knew every note and sharp and flat and rest by heart. From beside her, Zed started singing. " _I know it might be crazy but did you hear the story?_ "

This time, Addison sang louder and much more confidently. " _I think I heard it vaguely_."

" _A girl and a zombie_."

" _Oh tell me more boy. Sounds like a fantasy_."

Zed nudged her shoulder, light enough so she wouldn't miss a key. Addison brought her gaze from the sheets to his face, grinning slightly. They sang in harmony, " _Oh what could go so wrong with a girl and a zombie_?"

" _You're from the perfect paradise, and I'm living on the darker side_."

" _Oh I got a feeling if you get to know me_."

" _Right from the start you caught my eye_ ," Zed sang and winked. " _Something inside me came to life_."

" _Oh I got a feeling_ —" Addison sang. Then, Zed joined her. " _if you get to know me._ "

" _Someday_ —"

" _This could be, this could be ordinary_."

" _Someday—_ "

" _Could we be something extraordinary_."

Zed slung an arm around her shoulder. Addison jumped and did her best to not falter in playing. " _You and me side by side_."

" _Out in the broad daylight._ " Zed dropped his arm and readied his hands on the bass side. " _If they laugh we'll say: 'we're gonna be someday_ '."

They played the musical interlude together. The contrast between the melodies they played made the song sound even better than when they played at her house.

" _We're gonna be someday_. _Someday! Someday! We're gonna be someday_."

" _Girl you look delicious_ ," Zed sang, biting at the air. Addison grinned and giggled. " _Oh I mean gorgeous._ "

" _Well now you're getting fearless_."

" _I'm just rooting for us_."

" _If different was a superpower_ —"

" _We'd be so flawless. Yeah we can make these two worlds ours, I'm rooting for us_."

" _Two lonely hearts meet in the dark, imagine it now they start a spark_."

" _You got my attention, what happens next then_?"

" _Movies and long walks in the park, hanging out anywhere we want_."

" _I like the way your thinking I can almost see it_."

Zed grinned at her and pinched her cheek. " _Someday_ —"

" _This could be, this could be ordinary_."

" _Someday—_ "

" _Could we be something extraordinary_."

" _You and me side by side_."

" _Out in the broad daylight._ _If they laugh we'll say: 'we're gonna be someday_ '. _Someday! Someday!_ "

" _So let them talk if they wanna. Let them talk if they're gonna. We gonna do what we wanna. Let them talk, let them talk, if they wanna, they wanna!_ "

They sang the final chorus together, elbowing and grinning stupidly at each other. When they finished, they continued to smile at each other. Addison was out of breath but still ecstatic, mostly because she had just auditioned without freezing up or having a major anxiety attack and because singing with Zed made her grin out of control. Never would she have guessed she'd be singing with him, or be so happy and so close to him, singing a love song they wrote together.

Addison gulped and breathed hard as she stared into his eyes. Zed cracked a smile and licked his lips. "You were great, Addy," he breathed out between pants.

"Th-Thanks."

Staring at Zed was intimate and made her heart pound. Luckily, they were jarred out by the applause of Eliza and Bonzo.

Addison cleared her throat and turned to the two. "That was amazing!" Eliza exclaimed.

Addison blushed at the praise. "Addison wrote the music and most of the words," Zed explained. "I just added the Zombie-flare."

"I can't believe you didn't tell us you could sing!" Eliza exclaimed with mock anger. "We're out here stressing to find a singer and you're sitting in your office, knowing damn well you can sing, holding out on us."

"You should see her music room."

"You have a music room!" Eliza shouted.

Addison just stared at her in surprise. The conversation had gone from flattering to an all out attack on her.

"She plays guitar too," Zed added. "And she had a whole bunch of sheet music all over the place, a lot of originals."

"Damn girl," Eliza said then whistled. "You just get more attractive every day."

Addison blushed and glanced at the ground. "They aren't _good_ , if they're even complete I probably wrote them when I was like fifteen."

Zed grabbed her shoulders—making her flinch against him—and shook her. "Don't be modest, they're amazing!" Zed shouted.

"I mean, we can't make any final decisions until Maykel gets back but I think we all agree that you are amazing and definitely will be our lead singer."

Addison glanced at Bonzo, seeing him nod in confirmation and sign, **I've never heard anything like that** , then shake his hands as ASL applause.

* * *

Addison already signed six of the twelve parts of her new contract when she had gotten the job as assistant. When she had gone in to sign the other half, Bucky insisted on going with her as her 'manager'.

"I've been signing contracts for years, Addy," he told her. "I'll make sure it's all fair and true."

"I'm twenty years old, I think I can read a contract."

"You are _not_ gonna get conned, Baby Cuz," Bucky stated. "The music world is cruel and unfair and I'm already pissed you wanna be a part of it."

Addison rolled her eyes at him. "Don't embarrass me, okay? Eliza and Bonzo and Zed will be there and it's already embarrassing enough to have my older cousin coming in to baby me."

"I'm _not_ babying you," Bucky said.

Addison rolled her eyes again and pulled into her usual parking space. She turned off the engine then reached into her backseat, grabbing her beanie and jacket.

"What're you doing? It's over eighty degrees outside!"

"We don't want the press to know about me working with iZombie yet. They didn't even want me to say anything about being their assistant."

Bucky rolled his eyes and watched Addison put her hair in a bun then stuffed it into her beanie. "Plus I wear a long sleeve everyday," she added. "This is nothing new."

Bucky frowned at her. "They don't know?"

"They're really bad at background checks here."

"And you aren't gonna say anything either?"

Addison shook her head. "It'll be fine," she said. "C'mon, let's go."

* * *

"I call a toast!" Zed exclaimed. He looked at Eliza and Addison and said pointedly, "I know you two are still babies and aren't old enough to drink but I think you'll be fine with just one shot."

"I've had shots before," Addison said, amused.

Eliza slung her arm around the blonde and said happily, "You just get cooler and cooler."

She passed Addison the shot glass and grabbed up her own. The three people in the room looked and waited for Zed to begin his toast.

"Let's dedicate these here shots to our new lead singer, Addison!" Zed exclaimed. "To a fantastic summer to come! An amazing new E.P. and album! And an awesome tour!"

"Which all brings us back to Blondie!" Eliza exclaimed with a laugh.

"To Addison!"


	2. Part 2

**A/N: After months of hard work, Part 2 is here! I think the best formatting of this story is on Ao3, for the sole reason that I can add links on it! There are picture links and song links, but of course I do my best to describe them for the sites that don't let me link them!**

* * *

"Good morning, ladies and gents! It's six AM and I've got with me two very attractive Zombies with two very large cups of coffee. Say good morning to Zed Necrodopolus and Eliza Ruzzell from iZombie."

"Good morning, world," Zed greeted. "It's a pleasure to be here."

"Especially 'cause it's freezing in here and like a million and a half degrees outside," Eliza pointed out.

The 'Wake Up with Kevin Carter' host, Kevin Carter, laughed. "It's always a pleasure to have you here, Eliza," he stated.

"It's great to be here, Kev."

"So, how have things been for you two?" Kevin asked. "There's been a lot in the media about iZombie and Lucy Tate and I just want a straight answer from you."

Eliza gave Zed a look. "He's talking to you, Z."

Zed just laughed humorlessly. "I thought we'd get like, ten minutes in before I'd have to talk about this," he admitted. "Basically, Lucy committed a serious crime and is now in jail 25 to life."

"Mind if you elaborate a bit more?"

"Aggravated arson and domestic abuse," Zed stated. "Um, she tried to kill me, so yeah. But it's fine, it's been a few weeks. I've healed nicely, and now I get to actually live with my two best friends!"

Eliza noticed how uncomfortable her best friend was and jumped in. "We won't say too much, because it's really dark and also in the past. We've moved on and we're done with all that toxic B.S. iZombie is getting bigger and better, and your better be getting your tickets to our tour later this summer."

"Oh, you're still going on tour?"

"We've replaced Lucy with an amazing singer," Eliza stated. "She's really nice and fun, so you're gonna love her."

"What's her name?"

"It's a secret," Eliza said. "She hasn't even been introduced to our entire team. We wanna keep her identity on the down-low while the whole Lucy-thing gets sorted out. But trust me, you're gonna love her. _I_ love her, and not just because she's hot and makes me wish she was also gay. She's just an amazing person."

"Oh? She's pretty, too?"

Zed and Eliza nodded. "She's so sexy and adorable all at once," Eliza continued. "I _would_ go into detail but it's all a part of the mystery."

"So you'll have to wait and see," Zed added.

"Would you say she's more attractive than Lucy?"

Zed laughed at that. "I'm not gonna compare her to my ex-girlfriend. Every girl is their own unique person with unique qualities and traits. And ah—and the new singer has a set of qualities and traits that are lovely."

Eliza snorted. "You sound like an old man."

"Alright, well there have been rumors about a new album that'll come out before your tour later this summer."

"Yeah," Zed agreed. "In the fine print of all of our contracts it says that we can't perform songs without everyone's permission."

"And Lucy made it clear she doesn't want us—and more specifically her replacement—performing songs she's on or helped write. Which is pretty much every song."

Zed shrugged. "Our new singer is a songwriter too," he explained. "We're recording a song later today and her and Bonzo are working on some new ones."

"Anything you can tell us about your new music?"

"We can't say anything," Eliza stated. "One, because of the mystery. And two, because we've literally got one song."

"It's good though."

"That's 'cause it's a duet and you love to sing, though you never wanna admit it."

Zed rolled his eyes fondly. "It's a good song. Very Zombie-esque, K. C."

"Oh, you wanna tell us anything else about this song?" Kevin asked.

"Um, well it's about a girl and a Zombie," Zed explained. "And it's a human girl. And that's all I can say?"

"Oh, there's a human amongst your ranks, huh?"

"It'll all make sense once we release the new music," Eliza stated.

"Well until then, enjoy this classic by iZombie," Kevin said. "Is that fine with you?"

Zed chuckled and said, "Yeah. Here's _Proud_ ; enjoy, guys."

* * *

Addison spent most of her first few days as an official member of iZombie writing music. It was more like attempting to salvage and recycle scraps of music she'd written in the past few years, which was just as difficult as writing from scratch. They had gathered all the sheet music in her music room and were seeing what was good and what was too simple or basic or just too horrible to even try to use. Of course, 'they' meant it was her and Bonzo.

Zed and Eliza were on press duty, going to interviews and telling stories to keep control over the press. The day after the radio interview, though, photos of Zed and Addison walking through the garage were released. Luckily, Addison's head was covered and the only concerning thing was their linked hands.

"Anyone want to explain this to me?" Mr. Jacobs asked.

"Um, that's me and Addison," Zed stated. "Walking to her car."

Mr. Jacobs nodded. "Okay, okay. So Zed, What does this look like? Because to me, it looks like you've moved on from your incarcerated ex-girlfriend rather quickly."

Zed rolled his eyes. Addison chewed her lip, then said, "I was having an anxiety attack. Sometimes it happens. I dunno if responding with that is a great idea, but that's the truth."

"Is that what that was?"

Addison nodded. "It was a whole thing when I was younger, but I'm fine now." _Or as good as can be_.

"So we can just say you had anxiety, and your totally amazing best friend was helping you through it."

"I feel like every time you open your mouth you say something that always ends up as a self-compliment."

"Oh, you love me," Zed said with a grin, leaning over and tickling her sides. Addison squirmed away from him, holding back her laughter.

Mr. Jacobs looked between them in disbelief. " _This_! This is the problem right here!"

"We're just joking around," Zed said. He slung an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side. "This is my best friend, right here."

Addison smiled and hid her face in his side. "He's like an emotional support puppy," Addison said happily.

"Awe, thanks!"

"You two need to stop acting so affectionate," Mr. Jacobs stated. "We need to cut these rumors before they get any worse."

"But we need to be emotionally open with each other in order to write kickass songs."

Addison nodded. "He's coming over tonight and we're binge writing music. Bucky said he'd bring us booze too."

"You're too young to drink, Addy," Zed stated.

"I will be twenty-one in like, two months."

"Well you still aren't old enough to drink. That's the law."

Addison rolled her eyes without any meaning. She returned her attention to Mr. Jacobs and said, "I've got a lot of songs to finish piecing together. May I go back to that?"

"Ooh, look who's talking fancy," Zed whistled.

"Shut up."

Mr. Jacobs looked like he wanted to say more, but just sighed. "Okay, go."

Zed and Addison didn't move, except for Addison bring her legs up onto the couch. "We were in here first," Zed stated, gesturing to the scattered sheets of music on the table before them.

Mr. Jacobs muttered to himself, saying something about asking for strength to deal with the two of them. He walked away and back to his office. Addison fought back laughter and turned her head into Zed's side.

"Okay, let's write some songs," Zed decided. "I really like this one that's like ' _I told you I'd be down forever, loving you is danger but it don't feel wrong_ '. It's really good; it has lots of potential and I'm pretty sure the parts I haven't memorized are very breakup song esque."

Addison grinned and pulled herself from his side. "It definitely is." Zed moved his arm from around her shoulder and went to search for the sheet music in the pile. "I remember I wrote it not too long ago, after I moved in with Bucky."

"Really?"

Addison nodded. "I'd rather not tell you now because it'll make me cry and I wanna do that in the safety and comfort of my home."

Zed nodded in understanding. "I get it. I'll just put it away for later. Let's look for something a little uplifting."

"There's one in there I started a few days ago," Addison said. "It's about you guys." _It's about you, Zed_. "It's called _Smile_."

Zed nodded and pulled up a few sheets of paper. "It was right on top of the one I was looking for," he explained. "Okay let's see. ' _And that's a good mood, how you feeling like you're gettin' in a good groove. Feelin' better than you feeling in a while. I just wanna make you smile_.'" Zed grinned at her. "Aw! This is so sweet!"

Addison blushed and covered her face with her hands. "It's a very summer and happy song. At least, that's what I'm going for."

"I love it!" Zed gushed. "I feel like a teacher when a little five year old made them a card!"

Addison smiled again. She felt really happy but also like she might throw up at any minute. She was living her dream, working in her favorite band and sitting with her celebrity crush. Hell, she was even writing a song about her crush on him (without telling him) and he was so proud of her.

"Okay I think _Someday_ is the first one we're releasing but this definitely has to be next," Zed stated. "Oh and there's that other song. That is very Zombie-esque."

" _Bamm! Oh man oh man I'm the man bet you can't do it like I can_!" Addison sang with a giggle. "You wrote it, Zed! How do you not remember?"

Zed smiled at her. "I do, I just like hearing you sing."

Addison turned away from him and grabbed the pillow, swinging it at his chest. "Stop being so sweet," she grumbled.

Zed just laughed at her. "Okay, let's finish _Bamm_ first. I think after lunch we're gonna record the music and main track line of _Someday_. We should _probably_ rehearse that with Eliza and Bonzo."

"But I'm so comfy!"

Zed laughed some more. "You know, I'm fine with sitting hear and hearing all the stories about your music anyway."

* * *

Addison made six grilled cheese sandwiches. It was the only thing she could make without burning down the house (though she did start a grease fire once). The plan was for her and Zed to have two at most and leave two for Bucky. In the end, Zed ended up eating four and Addison ate two and made a few more for Bucky.

When they went into her music room, Zed couldn't help but point out the added whiteboard. Addison just ignored him and sat on the couch, putting a binder filled with sheet music in her lap and waiting for Zed to sit next to her.

"Is it too early to ask the inspiration behind that really catch song? _It's old news, I should look for better. Falling back to strangers leave me hanging on_."

Addison shook her head. She pulled on the end of her sweater, drawing the sleeve over her hands and rubbing the material with her her fingers. Her arms felt itchy as she thought of where to begin.

"I grew up in a tiny town in New Hampshire. Seabrook." Addison started. "And in Seabrook, everything is just… _perfect_."

Zed raised an eyebrow at that. Addison leaned against the couch and put her head on her arm. "I got so much shit growing up because my eyebrows are brown but my hair is blonde. All my pictures until eighteen I have brown hair to match my brows because I wasn't perfect."

"That's horrible," Zed said. "I personally love your look. The blood and the brown, it's so cool. And your brows are so thick too."

Addison smiled slightly, pulling on her hair. "I know now but…growing up it was just horrible. Everything I did, everything I went through…I just had to be perfect all the time."

"I'm guessing that was damaging?"

Addison nodded. "I didn't have a really good relationship with my parents or anyone in my hometown. By the time I was eleven, I just...I hated everything. And I put on the mask to be perfect, but I was just dying on the inside."

Zed has a feeling he knew what was coming next. Especially with the way she stopped and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She didn't look at him as she said, "When I was fourteen...I tried to kill myself. There was this pier twenty feet above the water with all these rocks below. It was dangerous and they had closed it off for construction to make it safer, so I slipped through and…"

"You jumped?" Zed asked quietly.

"I was going to," Addison admitted in an equally quiet voice. "But then I met him. Six feet tall, blonde hair, absolutely stunning. He was with the construction crew."

Zed scrunched up his eyebrows. Addison glanced up at him and added, "He was twenty-one at the time."

Zed felt a flash of anger surge through him. She hadn't said anything but the way she talked about him hinted at something so sickly wrong and disgusting. A twenty-one year-old and a fourteen year-old. It made him want to vomit and punch something all at once.

"His name was Sebastian Carl Yearnwood," Addison said in a slight dreamy voice. She looked at Zed, kind of embarrassed. "I called him Snake because he had this tattoo on his bicep. It was really sexy."

She could tell Zed was judging her by his expression. She was regretting starting the story now. "What are you thinking?" she asked nervously.

Zed shrugged a bit uncomfortably. "I have a bad feeling about this story. The way you're talking, it's like you may have dated him."

"I did."

Zed cringed at that. "You were _fourteen_ , Addison. He was twenty-one. That's a seven year difference. Fuck, you were probably in the eighth grade."

Addison scooted away from him a little. "I know that," she said defensively. "But…he stayed with me for hours. He talked to me. He made me feel so much better. If it weren't for Sebastian I wouldn't be here, Zed."

Zed took her hand. " I'm sorry if I came off as rude. Please continue."

"Okay," she said, letting his hand go. "So after that, we exchanged numbers. And Sebastian was like a therapist to me. I could text him whenever and he was always there. He always made me feel worthy and better. I didn't have to be perfect when I talked to him or anything. It was nice."

"Then?"

"He took me to dinner after I got honor roll," Addison said with a slight grin. "I got first honors, but my parents were upset because it wasn't Principal's since I got a few Bs."

Zed raised an eyebrow. "You went out with him?"

Addison nodded. She bit her lip and smiled fondly at the memory. "He was everything to me. He was sweet and so flattering and always there."

"And then?"

"Then what?"

Zed shrugged. "You wrote part of a song that's says ' _your face became all I know. I try to picture it after; while we fade at the end it's making me feel I'm to blame_ '. That's not the type of lyrics that come from a happy relationship."

Addison blushed slightly. "Okay, let me get there," she said. "I loved Sebastian. He was all I'd known, so how could I not?"

"Are you trying to tell me he was your first time?"

"It's such a confidence boost when you're a scrawny fifteen year-old and this sexy man who could have _anyone_ wants to be with you," she said defensively. "Don't you dare lecture me on unhealthy relationships either!"

"I wasn't going to!"

Addison let out a breath and leaned back against the couch. "In high school, I cheered. Bucky cheered too. I was his protégée. I got a scholarship to go to college. Sebastian didn't want me to go to college, he didn't want to share me with the rest of the world. And my parents didn't know about me and him at that point. Until it was time for me to leave. So I…I ran away."

"Sweet Jesus."

Addison looked up at him worriedly. She already knew she had no chance of him but by now she knew she was probably freaking him out to the point where he wouldn't want to be friends either. She was way too deep in the story to stop then, though.

"I changed my number and went with Sebastian to Washington State. That was when things started changing."

"I wonder why?" Zed muttered, just loud enough that Addison heard. She chose to ignore it though.

"Um, he got really controlling. He always was demanding things from me and, and wanting me to be this perfect girl. And I loved him, I'd been with him for years so I knew if he wanted me to change I should probably change. In a few months I was back where he had found me. But, um, there was no Snake to save me."

Zed looked at her sadly. He looked like he wanted to say something but could find the words. Addison sat up and pulled her sweater over her head. Zed watched her curiously until she tossed her shirt onto the side of couch. She held out her scarred arms for him to see, holding her breath as he gaped like a fish at her.

She could feel her eyes stinging as she thought back to all the hated and tears from barely two years before. "I-I know that being with him was bad but he was all I knew, Zed," she said in a broken voice.

"How did you get out?" Zed whispered without meeting her eyes, still staring at her arms in horror.

Addison took a shaky breath. She felt a few tears roll down her cheeks as she said, "Because of you."

Zed looked up at her. His eyes were red and he was crying. "What?"

"It sounds cheesy and stupid but when I heard ' _A Little Too Much_ ', I just knew I had to get out," Addison said. She sniffed and drew her arms to her stomach. "It...it felt like you were talking to me and telling me that everything would get better."

Zed was quiet for a second. Addison felt a little sick to her stomach. She had just laid out her entire life for him, even going as far as to show him the scars of self harm. She hated not knowing what he was thinking.

Luckily for her it didn't last very long. Zed moved closer to her and asked quietly, "Can I give you a hug?"

Addison nodded and Zed pulled her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him loosely and he held her with a hand stroking her hair. Being in his arms was relaxing; it felt like a comforting warmth she'd never felt. It felt like home.

" _She would not show that she was afraid_ ," Zed sang quietly. It took everything in her to keep from breaking down completely. " _But being and feeling alone was too much to face. Though everyone said that she was so strong. What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on_."

Addison couldn't hold it in anymore. She started sobbing against him and he just held her tighter. He continued to sing even though his voice was thick and breaking from his own crying. " _But she knew that she would be okay. So she didn't let it get in her way. Sometimes it all gets a little too much. But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same. And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much_."

* * *

The plan was to finish two songs and get started on two more. By the time they had fallen asleep that night at four in the morning, they wrote seven complete songs and drafted out four more.

They also got shitfaced and cried more. Zed revealed all the horror stories of the abuse he went through with Lucy. Addison talked more about her past and her parents and how she ended up in Los Angeles. They talked about other things that weren't as emotionally draining, like their friends (which inspired a whole song). By the end, Addison knew she could trust Zed with her life and that he could trust her with his. She had had mixed feelings about opening up with him before but she was glad she had.

They woke up less than three hours after falling asleep a little drunk and a little hungover. Addison lent out Bucky's bathroom for Zed and got ready for the day in her own room. Bucky left them breakfast and Advil and an extra pair of sunglasses to hide Zed's hangover.

When they got to the studio, Eliza questioned them as to why they were wearing sunglasses inside. "Zed let me drink alcohol last night," Addison stated grumpily.

"We wrote seven songs," Zed added. He grinned slightly and slung an arm over Addison's shoulder. "And bonded. It was great."

Addison scowled and ducked out from under his arm, moving to the couch. "I wanna curl in a ball and sleep for days," she complained. "Can we turn down the brightness please?"

"Are you a new drinker or something?" Eliza asked.

"I'm five three and a hundred and ten pounds," Addison spat. "Alcohol goes right through me."

"Would you believe me if I said we had the same number of drinks?" Zed sat down on Addison's other side.

Eliza raised an eyebrow. "How much was that?"

"Bucky bought…three bottles of whiskey. One was for the pantry. He said if we finished one bottle then he'd cut us off but I think we made it through a quarter of the second bottle before he realized."

"What the fuck," Eliza breathed out.

Addison just grunted. She pulled her hoodie as far over her head as it would go, then leaned back against the couch, closing her eyes. She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was being shaken by Zed. "Addy, you gotta get up," he whispered.

Addison groaned and turned her head to the side. The throbbing had gone down a lot but it still felt like she had ran a marathon and a half. "Was I asleep for real?" she muttered.

"We let you sleep for an hour and a half," Zed said in a soft voice. "We have a meeting in a half hour. I figured you'd need some time to look a lot less hungover."

"Mm, thanks." Addison lifted her sunglasses and rubbed her eyes tiredly. When she opened her eyes she saw the lights were off and the blinds over the window were closed, and Eliza and Bonzo were gone. "What happened in here?"

"You fell asleep on me and I asked Eliza to go buy us some coffee," Zed said. "Get up. You gotta look presentable we're meeting with like eight people."

"What?"

"The creative team," Zed explained. "Since we finished _Bamm_ and _Someday_ yesterday we're gonna see if we could do a video for one or the other. Hopefully both. Then they got upset that we didn't consult them when we were writing music so I'm pretty sure we're getting in trouble for that too."

Addison frowned and sat up with a groan. Once she moved the pounding came back and she felt a little more nauseous than before. Zed slipped out from under her and helped her up.

"This is why I don't drink on Monday nights," Addison complained.

"You're not supposed to drink at all," Zed pointed out.

Addison didn't respond. She fixed her sunglasses and walked with him out of the main room, nearly walking into Eliza and Bonzo coming back in with a tray full of coffee. It didn't take long for her to figure out which one was the black coffee and she snatched it up, taking a long sip of her drink. It was hot and bitter and everything she needed.

"We have a meeting in conference room B," Zed said. "I'm taking Addison to do her makeup. Look less hungover and shit."

Addison raised her coffee before downing more again. "Do her hair too," Eliza said. "And find her clothes that aren't sweats. She looks a mess."

"I'll drink to that."

Zed turned her shoulders and led her down the hall. "No more drinking for you."

"You can try to stop me."

Zed got her changed, went to his own room to change, then met up with Eliza and Bonzo and made their way to the conference room. They had to walk quickly to get there before they were late (which meant arriving when the meeting was scheduled to start).

There were six adults Addison didn't know, Mr. Jacobs, and Zach (her cousin's boyfriend), all professionally dressed. The four of them looked like underdressed teenagers. Mr. Jacobs stood up when they came in and put on a smile.

The other members stood and they went around, shaking hands and introducing themselves. Addison sat between Zed and Bonzo, near the end of the table.

"Let's get down to business," the head of the creative team, Carlie Walter, said. All of them opened their folders in response. "We have Zachary from marketing with us as well to discuss how we'll about the release of _Bamm_."

"It's been made clear this will be Addison's debut song," Zach said. "And because of this my team and I were considering making an epic, blow out video filled with stunts and tricks. We've seen on your file that you were a cheerleader in the past?"

It took her a second to realize they were addressing her. And that Zach was acting like it was the first time he'd met her "Oh, yeah," she said.

"And your cousin is Bucky," Zach said. "The man who's so well known and professional that his handle is just his nickname. Not his name, his nickname."

Addison nodded, going along with his charade. She'd let him have the moment to gush about his boyfriend. "Yes, sometimes I help him with his dances." Addison shrugged.

A man across from Zach asked, "Did you stunt in high school cheer?"

Addison nodded. "I was a flyer, so I did flips, splits, everything. If I had a bit of practice I could still do it." Even though the thought of any of that at the moment made her feel sick. It was probably just the hangover talking.

A lady a few seats down said, "We were planning out a few options for the video, but we've heard that you guys have some ideas."

"We have _one_ idea," Eliza said. "First, we haven't even finished recording _Bamm_. We have finished with another song—"

"Someday," all of them said in unison.

Eliza nodded. Zach chimed in, " _Someday_ is good, but we believe that _Bamm_ would be a better debut song for Addison. It slowly introduces her whereas in _Someday_ she's just there."

"So we'd have to finish _Bamm_ this week to get into rehearsal and recording by…?"

"Depending on what the final plan is, we want to be done recording it by next Friday, to have it ready for release the following week." Carlie, head of creativity, stated.

"So what Bonzo and I had come up with was a huge Zombie party," Eliza explained. "And Addison is a obvious human at the Zombie party. She's out of place but they welcome her and it's just a huge party the whole time. We could get those stuntmen and professional dancers. Zed used to be in the circus. Flips and tricks ensured."

"Brilliant!" Zach, a marketing team member, exclaimed. "Let's do that!"

It was pretty obvious that Zach wasn't very popular with the oddly strict creative team. Especially the way Carlie the head of the department rolled her eyes at him.

"So today you can record _Bamm_. Tomorrow we can flesh out the video and Thursday you can start rehearsing." Carlie said. "That means that you—" she pointed at Addison. "need to start joining them at the gym. Get back in shape."

Addison squeaked a little at her blatant rudeness. Zed quickly came to her defense though. "That was actually really rude, Ms. Walter," Zed stated. "You cannot talk about getting in shape because you sit at a desk working for me all day, doing a job I could do but I don't have the time for."

Mr. Jacobs groaned, the creative team looked surprised, and Carlie, the head of department, gasped. Addison felt oddly proud and happy, with butterflies in her stomach (which she chalked up to nausea again). Eliza snorted slightly and held in any further laughter.

Carlie recovered quickly. "Well, then I expect all of you to be ready on Thursday for rehearsal."

"We will," Zed said with a cheeky smile.

"Speaking of doing my job," Carlie said pointedly. "You wrote a few songs without even consulting us."

"We wrote seven more last night too." Zed said. "We have this odd ability to write songs. You know that already, because we've written our own songs before."

"Lucy wrote your songs."

"No," Zed spat venomously. "Lucy wrote some songs sure but _we_ wrote songs too. You can't just discredit us because Lucy was the face because that bitch is behind bars."

Addison's eyes went wide. She was fairly sure meetings weren't supposed to go like that. To be fair though, Carlie the head of the department had it coming, the way she was talking about the band and Addison and Lucy.

Zed leaned back in his chair and scowled at the entire creative team. "The songs we wrote are from the heart and represent us. If you don't like that then be my guest and leave."

Eliza snorted again. Addison looked over at her and saw the brunette shaking her head, holding in her laughter.

"Actually, you can leave now," Zed said. "Yeah, you aren't the right fit for head of the creative team. Zachary from marketing had been more helpful than you, and he only works part time!"

"What?" Mr. Jacobs and Carlie Walters asked.

Zed nodded. He swung from side to side in his chair. "I do have the power to fire you if I and my fellow band members believe you're incompetent for the job. Guys? Do you think this woman is still competent to lead us and tell us how to create music and visually appealing videos and photos?"

"Y-you can't fire me!"

"I agree," Eliza said, ignoring Carlie. "You _are_ incompetent."

The two looked at Bonzo, who shrugged then nodded in agreement. Then the three of them looked at Addison. "Woah, I-I can't fire anyone!"

"Addison," Zed stated. "It takes that woman and her entire team two and a half weeks to write one song. We wrote seven and started so many more, in one night. And I don't believe the problem is the team, it's gotta be the leader."

"Zed…"

"She's holding back her department and we're paying her to do work you and I can do _way_ faster." Zed stated.

Addison sighed. She had to make a decision based off of what Zed was telling her, and since he was the only one telling her and everyone seemed to agree on the matter, she nodded.

"Yeah, okay."

Zed waved his hand and Carlie the former head of department stood up, gathered her stuff and walked out of the conference room, embarrassed. "We'll come down and find you a new leader," Zed said offhandedly. "But until then, you—" he pointed at one of the ladies Addison remembered being introduced as Rizzo, "are in charge now."

"And," Zed went on. "I want Zachary to work on the _Bamm_ video with you guys. See how he works in creativity instead of marketing."

Eliza was grinning at this point. "I think this was a successful meeting," she said. "Let me know when you wanna talk about my ideas for the video."

"The meeting isn't over," Mr. Jacobs sputtered out.

"Yeah it is," Zed said. "We all have work to do. We're going to the gym to get in a good workout. We'll be back after lunch to record _Bamm_. And discuss the video. What time do you guys get off? Because we usually go home when we're done and I wouldn't want to keep you overtime."

"Eight," they all answered simultaneously, as if they feared Zed suddenly.

Zed nodded. "I say we reconvene around four thirty. We can even order some dinner at...I don't know, six. That should let us get a lot of work done."

He then stood up and his band members followed him out of the conference room. "Yo, what the fuck was that?" Eliza asked in awe.

Zed let out an angry huff. "I need to beat something up," he grumbled.

* * *

Zed spent a good amount of time with the punching bags before joining Bonzo in the weights section. Eliza was doing endurance workouts while Addison worked on her legs and abs.

It wasn't the first time she'd been to the gym. She went with Bucky twice a week since moving in with him. It was, however, the first time she was working with a personal trainer and it was absolute hell.

Halfway through, Eliza joined Addison. It was mostly to gossip about the meeting they had just come from. "I've never seen Zed so angry before," she said. "It was definitely because that bitch _loved_ Lucy. Like, I'm pretty sure she would date Lucy if she could. She probably had a shrine to her or something."

"How long can you plank?" Fritz, the trainer, asked Addison.

"I have no idea."

"Alright, get into a plank," Fritz said. "I'll time you for a minute but don't stop until you absolutely cannot do it."

Addison nodded and moved into a plank. It was probably a bad idea, considering planking was a horrible, _horrible_ ab workout and she was still a little queasy from all the alcohol not even eight hours before.

"Hands flat on the ground for the most effective results," Fritz told her.

"Carlie was a bitch though," Eliza went on. She laid on the ground and turned her head to talk to Addison. "I'm glad you listened to us blindly. I think that Zachary guy should be on the creative team. How about you?"

"He's…dancer," Addison breathed out. She was determined to last the full minute, no matter what.

"What?" Eliza asked.

"Cuz…dance…etcetera."

"I have no idea what you're saying," Eliza said. "Oh, what should we get for lunch? I was thinking burgers but we're working out and that's a horrible idea. Do you know any good places?"

Addison just grunted in response.

On the other side of the gym, Zed was ranting to Bonzo. "Last night was just…it was amazing, Bonzo. We just connected on such a deeper level."

He glanced at Bonzo and shook his head. "No, we didn't have sex man," Zed explained. "It was an emotional connection. She kinda just spilled her guts to me and it was amazing. I've never felt so attached to someone, man. I can't even explain it, it was just great."

 **You should ask her out** , Bonzo signed.

Zed sighed. "I…I can't," he said. "Not just the fact I just got out of a relationship. Addison told me something yesterday—that I can't tell you—and I can't ask her out after just being told that. I want to, but I just need to give her time."

 **How wise of you**.

"I can tell you're being sarcastic," Zed said with an eye roll. He looked over at Addison and Eliza at the other side of the gym. "Aside from everything, she's really hot. Like _really_ hot."

Bonzo elbowed him and shook his head. Zed just chuckled. "Look at that ass, man. And she's just planking, not even moving. Hot _damn_."

Bonzo frowned and shook his head. **You disgust me**.

Zed chuckled. "You done? Let's go hang with the girls."

 **Don't play grab-ass now**.

Zed full-on laughed. He stood up from the bench and made his way to Eliza and Addison. When they got there, Addison was doing some leg or ab workout. Her elbows were on a folded yoga mat and her arms were locked together. She started in a plank and moved a flat cart with her feet, pulling her body up into a sharp arc.

"Hey guys, check out Addison's ass!" Eliza said. She was filming on her phone.

Zed raised an eyebrow at Fritz, who was counting Addison off. "And done!" Fritz called and Addison dropped down onto the mats.

Zed couldn't help but chuckle. Addison turned her head and forced a pout. "Why aren't they working out?" she asked Fritz.

"Yeah why aren't you guys working out?" Fritz asked with a raised eyebrow. "You can all do the same workout."

"Wait," Addison said in a tired voice. "I need a break. Fuck."

"I'll go get you some water, Addy." Fritz said. "You've earned it."

Zed frowned and fought the urge to clench his fist. It irked him to hear Fritz talk to Addison like that, calling her 'Addy'. Sure, it was a simple nickname. But it was _his_ nickname for her.

Fritz left the weight room. Before Zed could say anything, Eliza said, "Hey! Tell them what you told me about Zachary from marketing."

"He's a part of Bucky's dance company. Also he's Bucky's boyfriend."

"What?" Zed asked in disbelief.

Addison nodded. She held out her arm to Eliza, who handed her her phone from her pocket. After a second, Addison offered it to Zed. "The first is from my birthday last year," she explained. "The next is when I went to dance with them at some event. There's some more of him and Bucky. They're cute together."

Bonzo leaned over Zed's shoulder and looked through all the pictures. "I feel so lied to," Zed breathed out.

 **They are cute together though** , Bonzo signed.

Fritz came back and passed water bottles around. "Alright, let's do a few more exercises and then call it a day."

* * *

They were in rehearsal for _Bamm_ later that week when they met the new assistant. 'They' was everyone but Addison, because as it turned out, Addison's replacement was one of her old friends from high school (the only one she had kept in contact with after everything).

"Bree!"

"Addy!"

Addison ran from the mat and to Bree, throwing her arms around her friend. "Oh my god, Bree! I've missed you!" Addison gushed.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" Bree exclaimed.

"I guess we're taking a break," Eliza muttered. She made her way over to greet Bree. She grinned and said, "Hey, new Addison."

Addison and Bree separated as Bonzo and Zed made their way over. "Alright, meet your new assistant," Mr. Jacobs said. "Hopefully this one doesn't make one of you go crazy and end up in jail."

Addison frowned but said nothing. She picked up on the way Zed growled. Mr. Jacobs didn't notice or didn't care and walked away.

"Okay, this is Bree," Addison said. "Only the best person in the world!"

"No you're the best!"

"I'm guessing you guys know each other?" Zed asked.

"We went to high school together," Addison said. "Um," she looked at Zed and said, "I'll tell you later."

He nodded along. "Okay. Come on, we gotta get this shit down before we start shooting tomorrow."

"Okay. Just give me a second to catch up with Bree."

Eliza glanced between them and followed Zed back to the mats. "What was that about?" Eliza asked.

She was asking Zed, but he took it as her asking Bonzo, who's eyes were still lingering on the new assistant. "Yeah man, gotta crush?" Zed raised a teasing eyebrow and elbowed his friend.

Bonzo gave him the finger, and that was the end of that.

* * *

After their final rehearsal, Addison drove with Zed back to her place. Eliza was going out with 'a friend' and Bonzo had gone back to the studio, so Addison and Zed decided to order takeout and eat while writing more music.

"So, who's Bree?" Zed asked.

"My best friend," Addison stated. "After you, of course."

"Of course."

"Bree was the only person who knew about Sna—Sebastian," Addison explained. "She didn't like him, but she pretended. When I ran off with him, she was the only person I kept in contact with."

"Ah." Zed tapped his armrest for a second, then asked, "How did you find Bucky? If you changed your number and shit."

"When I was little I had to memorize phone numbers. I know my home phone, both my parents' numbers, Bucky's, his parents, and my old address."

Zed hummed in acknowledgment. Addison tapped her fingers on the wheel nervously. "Why do you ask?"

Zed shrugged. "You told me that you cut ties with everyone and I was curious. That's all. No need to be jittery."

"Okay. Is Chinese okay?"

"If you're paying, then yes."

Addison giggled and rolled her eyes at him. "You're such a leech."

"You love me."

"I don't think so," Addison said. "I mean, you always make me give you rides and buy your food. I don't think a best friend would do that sort of thing."

Addison glanced at him to see him smiling endearingly at her. Or not endearingly. It was just a really sweet smile.

"I'm a great best friend and you know it," Zed told her. "Who else would throw the biggest, best, birthday extravaganza of the century for you?"

"I don't really like big birthday parties, Zed."

"But you're gonna be twenty-one! We'll dress you up and make you look all sexy and take you out for an awesome birthday surprise! That includes legally drinking."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?" Addison teased. "You don't think my leggings make me sexy?"

When she glanced at him again he looked like a deer caught in headlights. And very Christmas-y, considering his hair was bright green and his cheeks were burning red. Addison laughed as she pulled into the Chinese restaurant's parking lot.

"Don't pop a blood vessel, I'm just teasing you," she told him. "I don't need your approval to be happy with my body."

Zed smiled slightly. "Okay," he said. "But for the record, your body is amazing."

Addison grinned and turned to face him. "You don't have to say that just because you're my friend."

"Best friend," he corrected. "And I'm not just saying that."

"Oh, okay." Addison paused then asked, "Better than Lucy?"

Zed frowned at that, making Addison nervous until he spoke. "Comparing women is stupid," he stated. "I won't compare you to my ex-girlfriend because you're both individuals."

Addison smiled slightly. "Okay."

Zed nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt. Addison did the same and said, "I'll get the food. You stay here." Zed nodded and Addison climbed out of the car, heading into the restaurant.

Zed watched her as she walked, feeling a little ashamed for even thinking of her like that. He had just told her that he respected her too much to compare her to his ex, then he turned around and started drooling over her ass again.

 **Zed 8:58 pm**

Addison asked me if I thought she was sexy and I panicked

 **Zed 8:58 pm**

I told her that we would dress her up all sexy for her birthday and then she asked and I froze

 **Zed 8:59 pm**

That was probably my chance, right? My one chance that I'll never ever get again

 **Bonzo 9:01 pm**

What happened next? What'd she do after you panicked

 **Zed 9:02** **pm**

She laughed and said she didn't need my approval to like herself. Then she asked if her body was better than Lucy

 **Eliza 9:02 pm**

Oh shit that's a trap what'd you say?

 **Zed 9:04 pm**

I said I wouldn't compare them cause comparing women is stupid and then we got to the restaurant so she's in there getting us food.

 **Zed 9:05 pm**

I don't know what to do guys help me

 **Bonzo 9:06 pm**

I already told you to just ask her out. What's the worse that can happen

 **Eliza 9:06 pm**

Rejection

 **Zed 9:07 pm**

I can't I already told you that.

 **Zed 9:08 pm**

She's coming back I'll see you guys later

* * *

It took a full three days to film the entire _Bamm_ video. On the second day, Addison and Bree went out to buy lunch. It was Bree's job and Addison had tagged along to hang out with her friend.

They spent the car ride talking about many things; they caught up on life, talked about Bree's very obvious crush on a certain drummer, and picked out the lunch.

Addison could remember the very last time she'd talked with Bree. It was the night she left Seabrook. Bree was the only person she had left at that point. Bucky had been gone for two years then and Bree was the only person she could trust aside from Snake.

After that, when Snake wanted her to get a new phone number, she wrote Bree's number on the inside of one her sneakers. They texted for a year before Snake managed to figure it out. He wasn't happy with it either.

"I missed you, Bree," Addison told her. "I mean, I've got Bucky now. And his boyfriend. And now the band. But I'm really glad you're here too."

"I'm glad too," Bree said with a grin. "I was a little afraid something bad had happened to you. Ya know…"

Addison nodded in understanding. "At least we're back together," Bree went on. "Just in time for me to watch you get a good boyfriend—no offense."

"What're you talking about?"

"You and Zed, duh. Do you not see the way he looks at you? That boy is in love."

Addison rolled her eyes. "That boy nearly lost his life because of his last girlfriend. And the same goes for me. Neither of us are in any shape to get in a relationship." Addison said. "Besides, I've embarrassed myself in front of him way too many times for him to want to date me. I'm a fucking mess."

"No you're not!"

"He knows _everything_ about me," Addison argued. "Him and Bucky have sat on the couch and looked through my baby pictures. I don't even know how Bucky got those! We got wasted together and he held my hair back as I threw up in the toilet. That's not cute, Bree."

"But he stayed—"

"Because he's my friend," Addison argued. "That's what friends do."

"I'm just saying."

Addison frowned and slouched back in her chair. "He's just my friend, and that's that. The real relationship we should be talking about is you and Bonzo."

Bree giggled and shook her head.

* * *

Addison had spent the night before the release of _Bamm_ organizing her social media pages. She archived posts that weren't relevant or that she didn't really like, changed her profile picture, made her accounts public. The works. She turned off her notifications for everything as a precaution to save her battery through the night.

The video was up at nine in the morning eastern time, which was six am in Los Angeles. When Addison woke up and check her phone, she had been sent a few links by Eliza and Zed: magazine articles and fan pages posting about the video, and the video itself.

The first article she read was completely about her. It first talked about the video and even had shots of the video, her in the video, then went on to the stuff that was known about her. Like how she was Bucky's younger cousin and she grew up in a tiny town in New Hampshire, was a cheerleader in high school. That was pretty much it.

Then she checked Instagram and saw she was tagged in hundreds of posts. And she had even more followers and surprisingly even more likes on her most recent post. Her direct messages were blowing up.

On the top of her feed page was a post from Zed, of a clip of _Bamm_ and the caption 'Check out the video to our new song Bamm with our new lead singer and my very best friend addisondavis'.

Addison smiled to herself and liked the photo, then commented 'It's lit guys check it out!' She went through the rest of her instagram, commenting and liking pictures here and there then putting her phone back to go get ready. After she showered she grabbed her toothbrush, ready to brush her teeth and pick out her outfit at the same time.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Zed was sitting on her bed. She shrieked and dropped to the ground at the sight of his phone. "Zed! What the hell, I'm naked!"

Zed laughed and Addison crawled back to the bathroom, grabbing her robe and putting it on. "Good morning Addison!" Zed called. "I'm going live!"

Addison stepped out of the bathroom and threw a towel at him. "How'd you get in here! Why are you here! What the heck!"

Zed laughed and turned his phone to her. "She's a darling, trust me," he said to his phone. "Bucky let me in and I'm here to introduce our fans to the new lead singer!"

"You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"You're not mad, you love me too much."

Addison pointed her toothbrush at him threateningly. "I hate you. You scared me! Get out!"

"You want me to pick out your outfit? At the pace you're going we're gonna be late."

"How did you even get here?"

"Eliza dropped me off and you're taking me to the studio. She and Bonzo are getting bagels to celebrate!"

Addison rolled her eyes. She turned to go back in the bathroom. "Go ahead and pick an outfit, but you're already on thin fucking ice."

Zed laughed as Addison went back in the bathroom. She finished brushing her teeth, the towel dried her hair and did some makeup. When she stepped out of the bathroom she grabbed the clothes and went back in, getting dressed quickly in the dark overalls and pink tee shirt then returning to sit beside Zed.

"Okay, what're we doing?"

"I'm introducing the world to Addison Davis," Zed said. He looked at Addison and smiled, which she returned easily. "They've been waiting forever to meet you. Keep asking me questions. Why weren't you up when the video came out?"

Addison scoffed and shook her head. "No way I'm waking up at six," she said. "I literally woke up twenty minutes ago."

Zed turned back to his phone and said, "Look how good she looks for waking up twenty minutes ago!"

Addison just rolled her eyes. "I'm tempted to kick you out. Make you walk to the studio."

"You'd never."

"Try me bi—"

Zed covered her mouth with his hand. "You need to watch your language," he warned.

He dropped his hand and Addison glared at him. "I'm tempted to hurt you," she said. "You're getting on my nerves."

"You just need your coffee," Zed said. "Come on. Bucky's making breakfast."

Zed turned his attention back to his livestream. "I'm sorry I haven't been answering questions, but I think I'll end this soon. Just a few things. Make sure you guys watch _Bamm_ because it's awesome. Go follow Addison too, she's also awesome. Be prepared for more music in the coming days and weeks. Buy your tour tickets! We're shooting another video today after we visit Rachel Erin at noon. You should watch that too! And I'll see you guys later! Love you all!"

Addison waved and Zed ended the live. Zed turned to Addison and said, "Sorry for scaring you. Are you fine with wearing that to the interview today?"

"Are you kidding? You did better than I could have." Addison said. "And next time, please at least text me so I can put on some underwear."

Zed laughed as they both got up from her bed. They made their way into the kitchen, where Bucky was cooking and conversing with his boyfriend, who looked surprised to see Zed there.

"Morning sleepy head," Bucky said cheekily. "Did you like your surprise?"

"She didn't," Zed answered.

"Are you guys sleeping together or something?" Zach asked. "Why did you come from her room?" Bucky turned off the stove and was pulled between Zach's legs.

"I was bothering her," Zed said. "I came in this morning. Where were you?"

"Sleeping." Zach leaned his head onto Bucky's shoulder.

Addison moved into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. "What're you doing today anyway? You both look wildly underdressed." Bucky said.

"Soundcheck," Zed said. "Then were performing on Rachel Erin's show—and debuting a new song. Then we're going back to record a video for another new song."

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Addison. "You're going on live television wearing that?"

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Addison asked.

"You haven't worn short sleeves since I've met you," Zach pointed out. "I'm not complaining or judging. Just observing."

"It's-it's fine," she said, more to herself than anything. "They're just scars. It's not like I still…do that. Nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Right?"

Instead of looking at her cousin she looked at Zed. He shrugged at her. "It's your call, Addy," he said. "I can't tell you what to do."

"You picked out this outfit!"

"I didn't think it through," Zed admitted. Addison noticed the slight redness of his face as he said, "I-I just figured you'd look cute in that."

"What would you do if you were me?"

"I-I don't know," Zed said. He looked at Zach and asked, "You're in marketing or something what do you think?"

Zach had his arms around Bucky's chest. "I work part time," Zach shrugged. "But it could either go one of two ways. Or three. One is no one notices. Two, Rachel notices and ignores it. Three, Rachel notices then asks about it. Three has two sub options. Addison tells the story or Addison doesn't tell the story. Whether she tells or not, people will either respect and love her. Or not."

"Oh, perfect." She grabbed her coffee and took a long drink of the scalding black coffee. She would be fine, everything would be fine. Plus, Zed said she looked cute in the outfit and he really wasn't wrong.

"So, you guys are gonna watch, right?" Addison asked her cousin and his boyfriend. "First live performance!"

"I'm gonna be there," Zach stated.

Addison glared at him. "I will pour this hot coffee on you, try me."

Zach chuckled and slid off the counter. "I gotta go get dressed. I'll see you guys at the studio."

He made his way back to Bucky's room and Zed let out a breath. "That was so weird."

"Why?" Bucky asked.

"That guy works in marketing! I just saw him in his pajamas cuddling his boyfriend!"

Bucky took a sip of his coffee. "Fiancé."

Both Addison and Zed paused and went "Aw!" Bucky just rolled his eyes at them.

"Since when?" Addison asked.

"Last night." Bucky took a drink of his coffee. "Where do you think the awesome—"

"You know the rules!" Addison interrupted. "You don't talk about your sex life and I don't talk about mine."

Bucky scoffed and asked, "What sex life?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Come on, Zed. We're leaving."

"Bye Bucky, congratulations!"

* * *

When Addison got to the studio, she couldn't help but notice how Bonzo and Eliza were subtly looking at her wrists. When she would feel nervous she would pull her sleeves down over her hand to feel the fabric rub against the still sensitive and tender and irritable cuts. Now she put her arms behind her back to hide and rubbed them against her overalls.

They were doing a soundcheck (which Addison kept calling rehearsal even though that's not what it is), and afterwards they'd go in hair and makeup to get ready for their interview and performance live on her show.

Rachel Erin was a tall redhead full of life. It wasn't the first time iZombie had been on her show and she greeted them like they were old friends. They talked about Bonzo's art and Eliza's dog and Zed's breakup. Then she got to Addison.

"You must be the pretty blonde that's got the internet buzzing," she greeted. "I'm Rachel Erin, but you already know that."

Rachel Erin held out her hand for Addison, which she shook. "I'm Addison." Addison saw they way Rachel stared at her scars and pulled her hand back, rubbing it against her side.

"I love your work in the video," Rachel said. "The flips and the dancing! It's all so amazing! Did you have a double?"

Addison shook her head. Rachel gave her a surprised look. "That was all you? I thought the only person who could stunt like that was Zed."

Addison giggled and said, "I might be better, considering I trained for years and can do splits, and he can…well, he can hit the concrete and bounce back up."

Rachel laughed. Addison felt Zed pull her hands apart; she hadn't even realized she was scratching the cuts.

"It was nice catching up, but we have to do a soundcheck," Zed interjected.

"Of course," Rachel said with a grin. "I've got a show to go through. I'll see you guys on stage."

Zed smiled and turned Addison away and backstage to the sound director. Eliza and Bonzo were talking with him. "Alright, so we're programming our IEMs now," Zed explained. "They're in-ear monitors. It controls what you hear while your performing. I only listen to your microphone and Bonzo. Lucy would just listen to my guitar, and sometimes a microphone depending on the song. But it's really up to you what you hear."

Addison nodded as he talked. Zed's eyes scanned over her face. "Are you nervous?" Addison nodded again, biting her lip slightly. "I am too. We're definitely nervous for two different reasons, but don't worry, I'm here for you. Always."

"It's just…I'm not very good with first time things. Like auditions. Or performances. Or meeting people. Starting something new. I'm not good with new things in general."

Zed pulled her hands apart (she had been scratching again) and held them in his. "Addy, you don't have to be perfect," he told her. "You're already an amazing singer. This is an amazing song. And every time we've rehearsed it comes out amazing. You have nothing to be afraid of. I'll be right there with you."

Zed gave her a soft smile and Addison felt her heart flutter in her chest. She cracked a smile, then asked, "Why are you nervous?"

"I've been performing with one guitar since high school and it got destroyed in the fire," Zed explained. He let go of her hands and shoved his own in his pockets. "I'm a bit superstitious."

"This guitar is pretty lucky too," Addison said. She put her hands in her own pockets, feeling a sense of relief when the fabric touched her wrists. "Not just because I bought it for you."

"You did not," Zed argued. "We used the band card—"

"I went with Bucky and bought it," Addison said. "Back when I was still your assistant."

Zed gaped at her for a second. "You're lying."

Addison shook her head. "I picked it out because I know you like purple," she explained. "The white compliments it. I was tempted to get the orange one to prank you but that shit was expensive for a prank."

"Addison! Why would you do that?"

"You deserve something nice and it was way out of the range that Mr. Jacobs gave me." Addison shrugged. "You deserve it anyway."

Zed's face broke into a huge smile and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug (he smelt nice). "You're my good luck charm, Addy," he whispered as he held her tightly.

Addison felt her heart rate pick up at his words. That wasn't just something you'd say to your friend. It _had_ to mean something else. Something more that her being his good luck charm. ' _You're reading way to into this_ ,' she thought. ' _He's just nice, that's all._ '

"You're mine," Addison told him.

Zed pulled away from her and said with a slight smile, "You also need to stop scratching."

"What?"

Zed looked at her hands which were slowly rubbing her wrists together. Embarrassed, Addison pulled her arms apart. "I-it's a nervous habit," she admitted. "I usually just pull my sleeves over them. The pressure soothes me."

"Do you want my jacket?" Zed asked. "If you keep scratching you might draw blood."

"Your jacket goes with your outfit though."

Zed shrugged and pulled it off, wrapping it around her shoulders. "I'm not in the business of watching my best friend scratch her scars," he said casually. "Put it on for now. You can give it back whenever."

"Thank you." Addison pushed her arms through the sleeves and was practically swallowed up by the jacket. Zed laughed at her then stepped up to the sound director.

"So you and Zed?"

Addison jumped at the sound of Rachel Erin behind her. Addison turned and asked, "What?"

Rachel had her arms folded and a knowing smirk on her face. "You must be the girl Zed dumped Lucy for."

"That's insane," Addison said. "Zed and I are just friends and Lucy tried to kill him."

"The way you two were just interacting…I find that hard to believe."

Addison felt her cheeks heat up and she pulled on the long sleeves of Zed's jacket. "No, he's just my friend," Addison said. "It's…I have a lot of issues and Zed helps me with them. Like friends do. But…I don't have any interest in dating him. And he's definitely not into me."

"Okay," Rachel said disbelievingly. "I actually came here to ask about…your arms."

"Oh."

Rachel nodded. "Would you feel comfortable sharing your story on the air? Or would you like me to just stray away from it?"

Addison shrunk into the giant jacket. "Um, I-I don't know," she said quietly and uncomfortably. She rubbed her arms together, feeling the silky fabric of the inside of Zed's jacket rubbing against her skin. It was comforting, more so than her own clothing. "It's not a good story. But, um, I'd be willing to say it. If you ask."

"Hey, it's okay," Rachel said. "It's totally up to you. Just know that, if you do or don't, you're still incredibly strong. You could be a huge inspiration for anyone struggling right now."

Behind her, Zed called Addison's name. She wasn't paying much attention; Rachel's words echoing in her head. Maybe things would have played out differently in her life if she had had someone to turn to. Someone to look for advice or comfort in.

"Go ahead and ask," Addison stated firmly. "Ask me anything you want. I'll answer every question."

Rachel grinned and nodded. "Alright. Get to soundcheck. Zed's calling."

Addison couldn't help but notice it sounded like she was mocking her. She marked it down as just a figment of her mind and turned to run nearly into Zed. "Hey, slow down there," he joked. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Not important," Addison stated as she pulled off his jacket and handed it to him. "Show me how to do this, then let's go to soundcheck."

* * *

The whole hour long episode was featuring them. First they talked about Addison—how she got the job and what her life was like. Then they talked about their new music and what would be expected in the future. They talked about the upcoming album and the tour. Then they played games with Rachel Erin and interacted with the audience. Finally, at the end was time for their performance.

Right before their performance, Rachel Erin introduced their song. "This song was written by Addison and her cousin Bucky when they were both in high school, and finished by Addison and Zed several weeks ago. It's about standing up for what's right and for yourself. So without further ado, please welcome iZombie!"

There was a brief musical interlude before Addison started singing. " _I wanna scream, top of my lungs. Not sitting back, won't hold my tongue. No. Some things are different than we thought, there's more to life than what we're taught. I'm speaking up. Enough's enough._

" _'Cause I can't go on this way, I gotta wake up and be brave. But I know I'll face the fire if I say_ —"

During her pause, she looked toward the audience and saw them all either smiling in awe or just sitting in surprise. Addison smiled to herself.

" _I'm gonna stand strong, nothing's stopping me. I'll be loud, you'll hear me now. I'm gonna stand tall. Take it to the top, I'll be free, can't bring me down. So I'll rise, won't turn back, I won't hide who I am. I'm gonna stand_."

All the music kicked in the audience cheered. " _Done living life inside the lines. Following the rules and playing nice. Yeah, I'm stepping up with all my strength, even if they think it's a mistake. Won't turn my back, I won't close my eyes._

" _On the edge, I'll risk it all. It's worth the chance that I might fall. So I'm not backing down believe when I say_. _I'm gonna stand strong, nothing's stopping me. I'll be loud, you'll hear me now. I'm gonna stand tall. Take it to the top, I'll be free, can't bring me down. So I'll rise, won't turn back, I won't hide who I am. I'm gonna stand_ , _yeah. I'm gonna stand, oh_."

Next was Zed's part. Originally, it had been Bucky's. To Addison's surprise, Zed didn't start singing. From stage left, Bucky emerged with a microphone in hand. When Addison saw him she gasped in surprise and felt like she might actually cry. Bucky was supposed to be at home and not on live tv, singing the song they made together that basically made them who they were.

" _How can I just forget all the things in my head?_ " Bucky sang.

" _Just stand_." Addison sang.

" _Oh_ ," he sang.

" _You just stand_."

" _And if I stand, will I fall_ ," Bucky sang. He had reached her and gave her a wink, making her giggle. Then together, they both sang, " _Trying to knock down these walls?_ "

" _What if I don't know where I stand?_ " Bucky sang. Then Addison joined him. " _Stand_!"

" _I'm gonna stand strong, nothing's stopping me. I'll be loud, you'll hear me now. I'm gonna stand tall. Take it to the top, I'll be free, can't bring me down. So I'll rise, won't turn back, I won't hide who I am. I'm gonna stand_ , _yeah. I'm gonna stand. Yeah. I'm gonna stand. Yeah. I'm gonna stand. Yeah. I'm gonna stand_."

As soon as she finished and threw her arms around her cousin and held him tightly. Despite herself, she started crying into his shoulder. Bucky wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "It's okay Addy," he said softly. "I've got you."

Because four years before, Bucky was kicked out of his house for being gay (for being imperfect). And, in the only way sixteen year old Addison knew how, she wrote a song for him.

* * *

They had spent the entire afternoon recording the video for _Someday_. It didn't take as long as _Bamm_ did because they had one set, no background dancers, no costume changes. It was just Zed and Addison in costume dancing in a room, then a hallway. Simple.

The video for _Someday_ came out the following Friday. The following weekend, the first photo shoot with Addison in it released press images. They spent the rest of June and the beginning of July finishing their album and doing press releases to get fans excited for their tour at the end of July.

Bree and Bonzo did end up going on a date. Then another. Then another.

Eliza and Zed took Addison on a shopping spree for tour clothes. Once they had gotten paid they went a little wild at the stores.

They did more photo shoots once the album was released (at the end of June) and made more appearances locally. They even visited the kids in a children's hospital (who sang _Stand_ and made Addison cry).

The tour would begin the week before her birthday. She knew because she planned the first half of it and Bree did the second half. Her birthday was on a Thursday. Zed was planning a surprise for that day, even though they would be Seattle.

"Passports," Maykel told them. "We'll be in Canada for a few days and you need your passports to cross the border. And pack a lot of clothes. Bring snacks if you'd like. When we can, we'll stay in hotels for the night. When we cross borders I'll make sure we go over any different laws."

"Did you get your passport Addison?" Zed asked.

Addison nodded and pulled out the envelope she got in the mail that morning. "I've never left the country," she said. "Am I the only one who's excited?"

"First tour!" Eliza cheered. "With a fucking awesome Blondie instead of—never mind."

"Can we go check out the bus now?" Zed asked. "No offense, but this meeting is boring!"

Maykel sighed and nodded. "Yes, go. Unfortunately for you, I'll be riding with the production team on the second bus but I trust you all to behave. You're not children."

"Yeah, where's the bus?" Zed asked.

"Parking lot D."

They all got up quickly and ran out of the meeting room. Zed grabbed Addison's hand, knowing she had no idea where to go. They took the elevator down to ground level and went out the back way to the parking lot.

"Holy shit!" Eliza exclaimed. "Holy _shit_! We're on the bus!"

The exterior of the bus had screencaps from the _Bamm_ video with their new stylized logo on the three sides.

Eliza turned to them with a wide grin and said, "One of you has gotta take my picture in front of that! It's so cool I'm on the side of a bus!"

Addison grinned and pulled out her phone, dropping Zed's hand and jogging with Eliza to the bus. Eliza posed for several pictures, then switched with Addison.

"This is gonna be awesome," Eliza finally said. "Are you ready, Blondie?"

"I was born ready."

* * *

 **A/N:** **Alright let's do this. All the songs referenced/used:**

 **\- Proud by Rita Ora**

 **\- Flare Guns by Quinn XCII ft Chelsea Cutler**

 **\- Smile by Meg Donnelly**

 **\- Someday by Meg Donnelly & Milo Manheim**

 **\- Bamm by Meg Donnelly, Milo Manheim, & Kylee Russell**

 **\- A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes**

 **\- Stand by Meg Donnelly & Trevor Tordjman**

 **Oh and of course, the character Snake was created by my friend Caylee and myself. We were in history freshmen year of high school and we were creating a fake life for her if she were to drop out and run away with her 'boyfriend' Snake who had a tattoo of a turtle. It was all fun and games. Now he's here.**


	3. Part 3

**A/N: Welcome back! Part 3 of the band!au is finally finished. It took long but it's not nearly as long as parts 1 and 2. But hey, part 4 will go back into the flow of being long, since it is the last part.**

 **Originally, this story was supposed to have only three parts. This part was supposed to be at the end of part 2, but then part 2 got really long, which is why this part is only six thousand words.**

 **Enjoy this! Part 4 is already in the works and partially done! Um, I feel like there** _ **should**_ **be trigger warnings. I just don't know what I'm warning you for. So just, be warned, I guess. To be surprised.**

* * *

 **Friday, July 12 5:03pm PST**

 **Los Angeles, California**

Their first show was in Los Angeles. It started at seven thirty and was expected to end at ten, with people coming in with backstage passes until midnight. Then they would drive through the night for another show the very next day in Vegas.

They had to be at the office by ten with all their tour stuff and would go over the set list. Then they had to be at the venue at three for soundcheck (which would end around half past four) and then they'd spend the rest of the time until the show in wardrobe and makeup.

Everyone but Addison. The Zombie makeup took about two hours to put on but Addison didn't need to be in makeup until a little more than an hour before.

Addison sat with them in the smelly makeup room. It was only smelly because of the pounds of makeup being put on the three other members of iZombie.

Her wardrobe was simple enough: a blue dress and white wedges sneakers. She had a few other outfits throughout the show but the first one was simple enough. Addison was told it was to highlight her innocence and ignorance, especially since they were opening with _Bamm_.

"You look like a sweet teenager," Bree gushed.

"I just can't wait to change," Addison admitted.

"You're doing like, half your set in that," Bree reminded her.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me."

Addison and Bree left Addison's dressing room and made their way to the hair and makeup station. The other three members of iZombie were sitting in their chairs, getting their faces done.

Addison had seen the makeup process only when they were filming music videos, and they'd only done two videos. And Addison had been rehearsing while they did their makeup, then doing her own makeup. And then doing safety checks.

All of their chairs were leaned back and they had two artists working on their faces, and then one painting their arms and any exposed body skin. Eliza was fully dressed but Zed and Bonzo we're chilling in just their pants.

Zed was fit as fuck. He was just laying there, not moving or saying or doing anything. His arms and neck were being painted pale grey and the rest of him was tan or being worked on. That shouldn't have been attractive.

' _You can't get involved with Zed_ ,' she reminded herself. ' _Remember what Bucky said: rockstars are bad news_.'

' _And he definitely doesn't think of you that way. You guys are just friends._ '

"Addison?" Zed asked with the slight lift of his lips.

"How'd you know I was watching you?"

"Your perfume." The makeup artist tapped his cheek a little roughly, telling him to stop talking so she could work.

"Is it that strong?" She didn't wait for Zed to answer and added, "I think I might change it then."

"Don't, it smells nice," Zed told her. "Like your signature smell or whatever."

"Zed," the artist warned.

"Sorry."

Addison jumped up onto the markup counter and crossed her ankles, watching the artists work silently. After another ten minutes, the ones working on his body paint moved back. "Go finish getting dressed," one of them told him.

Zed got up from his chair and Addison felt her mouth go dry. He was two different colors with his makeup barely done, but he couldn't look more glorious.

Zed noticed her staring and gave her a smile. "Like what you see?"

Addison blushed and forced her gaze up to his face. Zed laughed and moved to the wardrobe rack labeled 'Zed.' "I'm just teasing you, Addy," he said. "You look adorable all red, it's fun to mess with you."

Addison glared but it lost its meaning with her still inflamed cheeks. "Zed, shirt," the artist repeated.

Zed rolled his eyes only for Addison to see and she giggled, watching him as he went to the clothing rack. "What do you think, Addy?"

Addison jumped down from the counter and stood next to him at the rack. From the other side of the room, Maykel said to them, "Zed, you were supposed to have everything picked out already."

Without turning around, Zed said, "You tell me the same thing every show and every show the same thing happens. I don't know why you expect anything different."

"You are a literal child."

Zed grinned and said, "Love you too."

He turned his attention back to Addison, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Well Ms. Rachel and Ms. Daisy spent a long time painting your arms, so I'd say something short sleeved to show off their hard work."

"Agreed."

Bonzo got up from his chair and went to his rack of clothes, grabbing his shirt and jacket set. He stuck his tongue out at Zed who did the same in retaliation. Addison turned and called to Maykel, "I think they're _all_ children."

Bonzo stuck his tongue out at her as he moved back to his side of the room.

Addison picked through the hangers, then pulled out a red 'Zombie styled' shirt. "This will pop great against your skin," Addison stated.

"Naturally."

"And…maybe a vest. We'll see. What shoes will you wear?"

"The white high tops, duh. I have _way_ too much leg showing."

Addison giggled and Zed picked out a random vest. He pulled the shirt over his head, careful for his makeup, the rolled the vest onto his shoulders. "How do I look?" he asked with a playful twirl.

"Delicious," Addison teased.

"Hey. That is my line." Zed pointed out.

Addison giggled and Zed went back to his chair. "Love the look, by the way," he told her. "You like like a sweet tennager. Mostly because you're five feet tall."

Addison scowled at him but he didn't see, already back to getting his makeup done. Eliza finished first because she sat still in her chair complied with the artists. Bonzo was done a few minutes after her. Zed was done last, with twenty minutes until show time. He kept fidgeting and trying to talk with Addison.

Zed slid up beside Addison, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "Addison, I want to show you something."

He slipped his hand into hers and led her through a few dark hallways. The further they walked, the louder it got, the sounds practically shaking the walls.

"Why are we heading to the stage?" Addison asked.

"Look around the corner," Zed told her, his voice low.

He let go of her hand and Addison stepped forward, then peered around the corner. The house lights were low but still enough to see the venue packed. It was buzzing with life, shaking Addison to the core and filling her with surprising nervousness.

"You see all those people?" Zed asked. "They're here for us. They want to see us. A couple of them have seen you perform live, maybe. The rest are here to see what you got. This show could go horribly. They might boo you, because you're not Lucy."

Addison turned back to look at him and frowned. "This is the worst pep talk ever."

Zed wasn't fazed by her interruption. "People out there hate you, Addison. We can't change that. But there are people out there who have heard you sing and know you're amazing. Those are the people that matter most. You'll always have haters, but you'll also have fans. Tonight, we're playing for our fans. Don't let anything they say or do stop you from singing your heart out. The only time I want you to stop is when our set is over or if I pull you from the stage."

"Um, why you?"

"You're my responsibility," Zed stated. "I brought you here. I got you to audition because you trusted me and you trusted that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you. I need you to trust me out there too, Addison. Trust that I'll take care of you."

Addison nodded. "I trust you," she said softly. "You'll take care of me."

Zed smiled slightly. "We're gonna crush this," he stated. He slung an arm around her shoulder and walked with her back to their main gathering room. "Let's kick this tour's ass."

* * *

 **Saturday, July 13 12:22am PST**

 **Los Angeles, California**

The show ended around eleven. They had gone backstage to meet fans, which took another hour and a half of their time before security finally cleared the place.

Addison changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. She could go and wait for them in the bus, or she could help them take off their makeup.

By them she meant Zed. They were both in the backstage bathroom, Addison sitting on the sink counter. She was taking care of the paint on his neck and chest while he cleared off his face.

"You definitely didn't have to do this," Zed told her again.

"I wanna get on the road like now. Plus, you're _always_ the last one done. Eliza and Bonzo don't need my help."

"You could be sleeping already."

"Maykel says we can't sleep until we're on the highway."

"Still."

"The arm paint comes off in the shower, right?"

"Yes ma'am." Zed answered. "How did you like tonight? Was it everything you were hoping for?"

"Everything and more," Addison said with a smile. "It wasn't like it was the first time I performed."

"Just the tour kick off," Zed said.

"It was fun. You were amazing, by the way. I love watching you during _C'est La Vie_. To the point that Bree had to turn off the monitor so I could get changed."

Zed blushed and smiled shyly at her. "You're good too. Especially when you're dancing. And talking to the fans. You…you look so happy. I…you're amazing. You're so talented and amazing and just, yeah."

"Thanks?" Addison said with a little giggle. "I think that, because I got most of your makeup off and will definitely finish before you, you should give me a piggyback ride to the bus."

Zed nodded quickly. "Okay! I mean, yeah, that's fair."

Addison giggled a little. She finished a few minutes later and did the side of his face that he wasn't doing. They finished close to one. Zed threw out all the garbage, then let Addison climb up onto his back. They did a final sweep of the building before heading out to the bus.

"What the hell? What's wrong with her legs?" Eliza asked. Her and Bonzo were already cleaned up and dressed for bed, sitting on the couches.

"She helped me with my makeup, so this is her payment."

He dropped Addison onto the couch, then made his way to the bathroom in the back. Bree came onto the bus a few minutes later. "Mr. Jacobs is gonna be on the second bus with the crew," she explained. "We're four hours away from Las Vegas. When we get there, you guys are moving into a hotel. You're free until ten. Then you'll be live-streaming on a morning webshow to talk about the kick-off of the tour. Soundcheck is at four. Doors open at seven thirty, Howlrs open for you at eight. You're on around nine."

"So you're gonna stay up to tell Zed all of this, right?" Eliza asked. "Because I'm taking my ass to bed."

"You all need to be in bed. Where's Zed?"

"Shower," Addison answered.

"I bet you plan on joining him, huh?" Eliza teased. "You two have been really 'friendly' lately."

"I am not having this argument at one in the morning," Addison stated. "He's just my friend. It's as simple as that. He's not interested in me, logically, and I'm not interested in him."

Addison stood up. "I'm going to bed. Long day."

There was a curtain that separated the front of the bus from the bunks. Behind the bunks on the left was the bathroom. Then there was a door that blocked off a music room.

Addison's bunk was above Zed's on the right. Him and Bonzo had to get the two bottom ones because they could barely fit in the normal bunks.

Addison closed the curtain and went to climb up to her bunk when the bus lurched to a start. Both Zed and Addison had been walking and lost their balance, colliding and falling to the ground, Zed falling backwards and Addison on top of him.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry!" Addison apologized quickly.

Zed huffed and laughed a little. Their faces were merely inches apart, so close that Addison could see a little freckle in his eye.

"You're good, Addy," he said with a laugh. "If you wanted to get me under you, all you had to do was ask."

Addison blushed and quickly got to her feet. "Didn't you just come from the shower? I doubt you'd need me when you've got your hand."

Zed laughed and stood up. He was only wearing his boxers, his hair still wet from his shower. "I could go on and on with this conversation about sex, but I think if you got anymore red we'd have to take you to a hospital."

"I can handle sex jokes!" Addison exclaimed defensively.

Zed laughed and grabbed pajamas from where they sat on his bunk. Addison watched him, her eyes wandering over his back. She could see the muscles moving as he moved, the tightness of the skin where he had permanent damage from the fire. There were patches of third degree burns all over his body. He had scars from some lesser burns, scars that were healing better.

They never talked about it, but the scars were a constant reminder. Or at least a constant physical reminder. Zed had told her once that he couldn't sleep some nights, that he'd get nightmares or be afraid to be alone in the dark.

"Staring at my ass, huh?"

Addison smiled a little. "To be fair, it's very nice. It's thick but not too thick and looks firm."

Zed turned to her with a smile on his face. "Thanks. You have a nice ass too."

"Oh do I?"

Zed nodded. "You'd think it looks better in leggings but when you wear jeans it's just…wow."

His cheeks were dusting red and Addison felt flustered, looking away from his face. She crossed her arms over her chest and said, "I…I'm gonna get some sleep. It's been a long night. See you in the morning."

From her peripheral, she saw Zed pull a shirt over his head. "Okay. See you in the morning."

Addison climbed up and into her bunk. She left the curtain open and got settled under her blanket, falling asleep within minutes. It had been a long day and Addison was incredibly exhausted.

Addison's dreams were filled with Zed. Way more Zed than she was used to or would expect on a normal basis, or that she would ever see.

Bree woke them up at eight. Addison stayed in bed, staring at the top of her bunk for at least fifteen minutes. Her dream was still vivid in her mind; she didn't think she could face Zed that day after that dream.

"Addison," Bree said. "You gotta get up and look presentable for your interview."

Addison whined and got out of bed. From what she could tell though, the bus was vacant. "Where is everyone?"

"Getting their makeup done," Bree answered. "You're lucky you don't have to do that."

When Addison didn't laugh or even smile at her joke, Bree gave her a concerned look. "What's wrong?"

"I…is the bus empty?"

Bree nodded and Addison jumped down from her bunk. "I had an…odd dream last night."

"Odd?"

Addison nodded. "Don't make me say it," she whined.

Bree looked her up and down, trying to figure it out. Realization dawned on her and she asked slowly, "Did…did you have a sex dream or something?"

Addison looked at the ground and nodded in shame. "Addy," Bree said softly.

"It was about Zed!" Addison covered her face to avoid seeing Bree's reaction.

" _Oh_." She could _hear_ Bree smirking, no matter how small it was.

Addison shook her head, completely embarrassed. "I can't face him today! I can't even _think_ about him without considering…Bree what am I gonna do!"

"You've never had a sex dream before?"

"When I was thirteen!"

Bree laughed at that. "It won't be too bad. It's not like it was some dude who you didn't know or who didn't clearly like you."

Addison dropped her hands and looked at Bree. "Zed doesn't like me. And he shouldn't be subject to-to that! It was awful!"

"Was it really awful?"

"I-no! I don't know! I don't wanna talk about this!"

Bree laughed again and patted her friend's shoulder. "You'll be fine. You're gonna be twenty-one, I'm sure you can handle a little sex dream."

Addison pouted. "You need to shower and get your hair done so you look presentable," Bree went on. "Get over the dream. Worry about it later."

* * *

 **Saturday, July 13 9:28am PST**

 **Las Vegas, Nevada**

The hotel had a conference room where they would connect to the _Good Morning with Franny Grace_ show. The others were upstairs, in their respective rooms, getting ready. Addison stayed in the bus to change and do her own makeup and hair.

She was the first one in the conference room. She had been there for a few minutes before Zed walked in. Addison glanced up when she heard the door open and immediately looked away.

"Hey," he greeted. "Look who decided to wake up."

Addison just hummed. She couldn't look at him, afraid her blushing and embarrassment might give way to what was going on in her head.

"I have a quick question," Zed said as he sat down next to her. "Do you want to let security know if certain people aren't allowed backstage or in a show period? I know this is something we should've done ages ago, but it just crossed my mind."

Addison looked up at him and asked, "What?" She immediately regretted it though. Her mind went back to her dream and she feels her face heat up. Zed had a casual yet serious smile on his face, completely oblivious to what was going on in her head. Addison looked at the top of his hair.

"Like your parents. Or Sebastian. If you wanted to prohibit certain people from seeing us live or getting backstage access."

"Oh, um, yeah." Addison nodded. "You would do that for me?"

"Of course. Just give me names, I got you. A description is nice too but not completely necessary. I'll get it to the security team as soon as possible."

Addison nodded then looked back at her phone. She felt Zed's eyes on her.

"You okay?" Zed asked.

Addison nodded without looking up from her phone. "Um, what should I expect from this interview?"

"They're just gonna ask us about last night," Zed said. "How you felt, what was going through your mind. The works."

Addison froze at his wording. On any other day she wouldn't have noticed how his words could apply to sex.

"Addy? Are you sure you're okay?"

Addison stood up. "I have to go to the bathroom," she announced, then quickly left.

* * *

 **Sunday, July 14 3:04am PST**

 **Barstow, California**

The interview went well. Addison couldn't look Zed in the eye the entire day. The show didn't go as well as the Los Angeles show, mainly because of Addison. The next show wasn't until Wednesday, in San Francisco. Las Vegas to San Francisco was an eight hour drive. They all boarded the bus to get there as soon as possible.

Addison slept for about two hours. She woke up at three in the morning, panicked and afraid. It took a few minutes for her to figure out where she was and that she was safe.

She feels a little like crying and like vomiting. The bus is rocking and not helping her at all. Slowly, she climbs down from her bunk. Her mouth felt dry even though the screaming and crying had only been in her dreams. Addison went to the kitchenette and was surprised to see light coming from a laptop at the couches. She looked a little harder and saw Zed sitting on his laptop.

"Zed? What you doing up?"

Zed looked at her and whispered, "I couldn't sleep. You?"

"I had a bad dream."

"You wanna watch Netflix with me?"

Addison nodded and grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge then sat down next to him. They watched three episodes of _The Office_ without saying anything to each other.

Zed was changing the episode then paused. "Hey Addy, I'm sorry about last night."

"What?"

"All the jokes about sex. Sorry for making you uncomfortable." he explained. "I don't want you to feel that way about me. You avoided me all day and it was awful."

"Oh," Addison said. "No, I wasn't…I didn't mean…I wasn't upset because of that."

Zed turned his head to look at her. "But you were avoiding me because of something, weren't you?"

"It wasn't anything that you did," she assured him. "And I don't care about your sex jokes. They're fun."

"But…but why were you avoiding me?"

Addison frowned. She couldn't see him very well in the light from his computer but it was clear that it bothered him a lot. "It was stupid. Don't worry about it. We're cool."

Zed looked at her once more, then nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

Zed nodded again. "Okay. You're my best friend, and we're cool now."

"Good." Addison snuggled into his side to get a better view of the screen. "Can we watch some cartoons?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"I like Spongebob."

Zed laughed a little. He left Netflix and went on another streaming website, logging in and finding an old episode of _Spongebob Squarepants_.

"We could've watched something else. You didn't have to go searching for me."

"You gotta fall asleep. Plus, cartoons are cool."

Addison smiled a little and turned her head into his chest. "Thank you."

Zed clicked on an episode, then wrapped an arm around Addison, holding her close. They watched a couple of episodes and neither of them fell asleep. The sun was already rising but other than that, the bus was still silent. Addison was tired but didn't want to go back to sleep.

"Another episode?" Zed asked tiredly.

"You don't have to stay up to keep my company."

"I've been having nightmares," Zed admitted. "I haven't been sleeping because of them."

Addison raised an eyebrow and looked up at him. "Really?"

Zed nodded. "It happened…twice, I think. I can't fall asleep anymore."

"When was the last time you slept?"

Zed paused to think for a second. "A week ago."

"I…I wish I could do something to help you," she said. "I…I had a nightmare tonight. About Sna—Sebastian. It's why I woke up."

"I…I know. You were muttering and fighting in your sleep." Zed admitted. "I wanted to wake you up, but Eliza always says to let people work out their dreams on their own."

Addison tucked her head back into his chest. She turned to see the screen, clicking on the next episode. She felt strangely lighter. She didn't even tell him what had happened in her nightmare but she still felt a little better.

Addison fell asleep and woke up hours later. She didn't dream anything then. She was still cuddling into Zed, who was also sleeping soundly. They were both woken up from Bree's gentle shaking.

"We're at the hotel," Bree said gently. "Eliza and Bonzo already went up. I've got your room keys."

Addison whined and turned into Zed. She was tired and didn't want to get up, especially since sleeping on top of Zed was so comfortable. It was quite possibly the best sleep Addison had ever had, and she didn't want it to end (even though she was already awake).

"Come on Addy, get up," Zed grumbled. "Let's move to an actual bed, huh?"

"I'm comfy here," Addison whined.

Zed laughed softly and rubbed her arm. "We have days to just chill. I'm sure we could sleep a little more here, right Bree?"

"Uh, I guess?"

"Cool. You can go up. You can leave our keys on the table."

"Okay."

* * *

 **Monday, July 15 12:16am PST**

 **San Francisco, California**

Addison had slept maybe an hour before she woke up in a cold sweat again, the image of Snake hovering over her still fresh in her mind. She felt like crying and had to turn on the lights in her hotel room to make sure she was still alone. Except she didn't really want to be alone. Being alone made her more vulnerable.

She wasn't too far from home. She could call Bucky and he'd be more than willing to talk to her until the morning or even take her home. But she didn't want to worry her cousin. She was worried herself about how he would react if he found out she was having nightmares again. He wouldn't let her out of his sight the first time.

Addison found herself on her phone, in her text chats. She knew she couldn't be alone and she didn't want to call Bucky. Zed was the next option, considering how close they were and how understanding Zed was.

 **Addison 12:17am**

Hey, are you awake?

Addison put her phone down beside her and drew her legs up to her chest. It only took a minute for Zed to respond.

 **Zed 12:18am**

Yeah is everything alright?

 **Addison 12:18am**

Bad dream

Zed didn't ask her anything else. He sent her his room number, which was a few doors down from hers. Addison got out of bed quickly, grabbing her own room key and her phone before rushing out and heading to Zed's room. She didn't even get to knock before the door opened and Zed pulled her in.

Zed closed the door and led Addison over to the bed. "You alright?" Zed asked as they sat down.

Addison shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. "Bad dream," she simply said.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Addison shook her head. She opened her mouth and took a second to find her words. "I-I didn't want to be alone."

She couldn't see his face in the dark but saw him nod. "We still have twenty-nine more days for our free trial," he offered.

Addison smiled a little. Her and Zed scooted back until their backs were against the headboard. Zed moved his laptop into her lap and switched taps, opening another episode of _Spongebob_. They didn't cuddle and just watched cartoons in silence.

It took eight episodes for Addison to calm down. She relaxed against his pillows and leaned into his side. Zed just spared her a glance and clicked on another episode.

Every episode was fifteen minutes. The theme song barely finished when Addison hit pause. She turned on the lamp beside his bed then faced him.

"If…If I tell you my nightmare, will you tell me yours?"

Zed nodded quickly. "I can go first if you'd like."

"No," Addison said. "I have to say this. I-It's happened twice now. I keep seeing Sna-Sebastian."

Zed nodded along, his full attention on her. "I'm not even me I'd like I'm watching from the outside. And it's kinda like memorizes except they're ten times worse because I was so stupid when I was younger. I…It's so bad. I…"

Addison trailed off, focusing her gaze down at the sheets. She felt Zed's hands on her cheek, turning her head up to him. "You're out of there now, and that's what matters most," he said, gently but firmly. "You're not going back. You may not be fine now, but you'll get better. I know you will. You're one of the strongest girls I know."

Addison felt her lip quiver and her eyes start to well up and sting a little. She didn't deserve to have Zed in her life. She was a broken mess and it shouldn't be his job to fix her. Yet he was doing it so willingly, without being asked and never asking questions.

Zed stroked her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs soothingly. Addison felt choked up, blinking hard. She didn't know if she was trying not to cry or to just cry already.

Addison sniffed and shook her head a little. "Will you tell me your nightmare?" she asked quietly.

"Lucy," Zed said, his voice quiet. "It's always her. It's always so sweet and nice at first. And then it…it all goes to shit. I always wake up before it can get better, before I can get out of there. Before I can escape the fire."

Addison smiled a little bitterly. "We shouldn't relate so much. People shouldn't have to go through what we did."

"We'll be okay," Zed assured her.

They adjusted their position, cuddling together and switching to a historical movie. They fell asleep cuddling each other again.

The next night, Addison didn't even try going to her own room. She just went to Zed's room and they watched cartoons until they fell asleep. And they did it again, and again, and again.

* * *

 **Wednesday, July 24 8:44pm PST**

 **Seattle, Washington**

The set always started off with their album. Addison would leave the stage only during _C'est la Vie_ , which was one of Zed's songs on the album. She would switch outfits to something more fun and lively for her favorite song, _Bust a Left_.

When Addison came back out with three background dancer, the music didn't play as it usually would. And Zed was still center stage. He hadn't moved away and still had his microphone in its spot.

"What's going on?" Addison asked.

Zed looked at her and smiled. "People of Seattle," he announced into his microphone. "Tomorrow is a very special day! Tomorrow is Addison's twenty-first birthday!"

Eliza cheered, Bonzo banged on the cymbals and the crowd cheered loudly. Addison blushed a little and looked back, seeing her dancers cheering too.

When everyone called down a bit, Zed went on. "So before she comes and kills the rest of our show, we _have_ to sing her _Happy Birthday_!"

Everyone cheered again. Zed hit a power chord on his guitar. "Ready? Two…three…four!"

Zed played the guitar and Bonzo hit the drums as Zed and Eliza led the crowd in singing _Happy Birthday_. Addison listened happily, smiling uncontrollably. All she could hear was Zed and Eliza in their microphones; they were both singing purposely offkey. When they finished, the crowd screamed and cheered and Addison couldn't help but blush a little.

Zed motioned for her to join him at center stage. He slung an arm around her shoulder and Addison reached behind herself, turning on her mic pack.

"Happy early birthday, Addy," Zed said with a smile.

"Thank you!" Addison exclaimed earnestly. "You are incredibly over the top."

"Oh you love."

Addison rolled her eyes. Zed gave her a squeeze then moved back to his spot. "Alright! Now the birthday girl is gonna do her favorite song. Or what I assume is her favorite song."

"It is my favorite."

One of the crew members ran out and took the microphone with them. "Oh, is it time?" Eliza asked.

"Yes it is," Zed snapped. "God, pay attention."

Eliza held her hands up in defense. "Damn, chill."

Addison looked back at them. "You guys done? It's my birthday, after all."

"Your birthday is tomorrow, but sure."

Addison chuckled and shook her head. "Alright friends and fans, this is _Bust a Left_!"

* * *

 **Thursday, July 25 9:21am PST**

 **Seattle, Washington**

Addison was sure that if they could've gotten a key to her room, her bandmates would've woken her up way earlier than she would have liked. They didn't have plans until later that day, so Addison work up when Bucky called her a little after nine in the morning.

She got out of bed and left her room, going into the common area of their suite to grab some breakfast. She got into the kitchen and saw her bandmates sitting at the island, all with their phones pointing at her. "Woo! It's the birthday girl!" Zed cheered.

"A twenty-one year old sleeping beauty!" Eliza hollered. "Love the bedhead Babe."

Addison rolled her eyes at them but smiled. "You are truly stunning," Zed said.

Addison hit a pose and they laughed. Whatever they were recording ended around the same time and they put their phones down. "Happy birthday, Blondie," Eliza said.

"Thanks."

Zed got off his stool and went to the microwave. He pulled out a stack of pancakes, then grabbed fruits and whipped creams from the fridge. "We made you breakfast," he announced.

"We went out and _bought_ breakfast," Eliza corrected.

Zed rolled his eyes and put Addison's pancakes in front of a stool. "I know you like gross fruits, but whipped cream is also good," he explained. "I'll go get you something to drink."

"Zed, you don't have to do all this."

"Hush. It's your birthday and I promised you months ago that I would make it awesome." Zed ushered her to a seat, forcing her to sit down the kissed her temple. "You're gonna love your birthday. Promise."

Addison blushed a little and looked down at her pancakes. "Oh, okay. Whatever you say."

"Whipped cream, then fruits?"

Addison nodded and Zed set up her breakfast. He went back to the fridge and poured a glass of orange juice, then brought it back to Addison.

"So the plan for today," Zed started. "First we're going to have dinner at _Sergio's_. Our reservations are at seven thirty. Then when we finish we're gonna go to a club and get shitfaced. It's gonna be great!"

* * *

 **Thursday, July 25 10:56pm PST**

 **Seattle, Washington**

Addison wore the hat Zed gave her the whole night. It was green and said 'Team Zed' in white embroidery, and she had to use pins to keep it on her head.

After dinner, they toured around Seattle, then went out to a club downtown. As they were getting out of the car, Zed let Eliza and Bonzo and Bree walk ahead of them, then turned to Addison and said, "Stay with me, okay? I don't want you to be alone here. Eliza is gonna hang around with Bonzo and Bree but I need you to stay with me."

"Of course," Addison said. "You gotta help me buy the right drinks, now that I'm actually legal."

Zed smiled, grabbed Addison's hand and helped her out, guiding her into the club. It was loud and dark and pulsing with life and music that Addison felt shake her core.

Zed immediately took her to the bar. There were no open spaces and it was crowded; Zed managed to wedge them between a few people and leaned against the charcoal marble. Zed ordered for the both of them, then turned to lean against the counter.

"So, what's it like to finally be old enough to drink?"

"Considering I've been drinking for years, it feels eh."

Zed laughed and shook his head. "I remember my twenty-first birthday," he said wistfully.

"You mean March? 'Cause we're practically the same age."

Zed shrugged. "Me and Bonzo went to Vegas. It was fucking awesome."

"What about Lucy?"

Zed shrugged. "You know how she would get. She got angry, threatened me. The works. Let's not talk about Lucy tonight. It's your birthday!"

Addison giggled. Their drinks came out and Zed watched Addison as she took a long sip. She rolled her eyes but dramatically sighed blissfully. "This, this is amazing," she said.

Zed smiled brightly, then downed a shot. "You wanna dance? Or you wanna get wasted first?"

"I'll answer after I finish this drink. Do I get some of those shots?"

Zed shrugged. "Technically, You shouldn't mix alcohol, but go wild girl. Just, like, don't get alcohol poisoning."

Addison smiled and took another drink. They hung out at the bar, drinking and talking for a little more than an hour. They had to shout over the music to hear each other. When they finished the club is more crowded than before.

Zed took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor. They weren't in the center but weren't at the edge, surrounded in every direction.

The music was loud and everyone was dancing and screaming, lights flashing everywhere. Zed and Addison moved with the music and the crowd. They kept their hands linked and danced facing each other. They were touching in just about every place imaginable, gyrating and grinding on each other.

Addison grinned at Zed, then her eyes drifted behind him and her mood crumbled. It was dark, the lights were flashing, and her senses were hazy, but she knew that face from a mile away. It was the face that haunted her for years, that lied and manipulated her and made her feel worthless and dirty.

Addison felt a burning in her chest like she would throw up. She needed to get out of the club before he noticed her, get as far away as possible. She yanked her hand away from Zed and backed up quickly. People elbowed her and pushed her but she fought her way through the crowd, rushing to the exit. She heard someone call her name and picked up the pace, terrified of the prospect of Snake finding her.

Outside the club felt like jumping into freezing water. It's chilly for a summer night and quiet for a major metropolitan. Addison started to hyperventilate, unable to think clearly and just get out of there.

From behind her, someone grabbed her by her shoulder and turned her around. "Addison!"

She panicked for a second before noticing the neon green hair. Zed gave her a concerned and worried look.

In the streetlight, she saw Snake exiting the club. Except it wasn't Snake, just a man that looked a lot like him. There was no snake tattoo on his left bicep.

Addison felt a rush of emotions; the fear and the relief were probably the strongest. She looked back at Zed and in a moment of impulse, surged forward and kissed him hard.

Zed stumbled but a second later he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Addison pulled away first, breathless. "I'm sorry," she rushed out. "I-I thought I saw—and I freaked and—I—"

Zed cut her off, kissing her again. Addison tangled her fingers in his hair, their mouths moving as well be as they made out on the sidewalk. There were months worth of pent up emotions coursing through their veins, all pouring out at once.

They pulled apart and stared at each other, taking in deep breaths. Addison looked him in the eyes and said, "Fuck me."

"What?"

"Take me back to the hotel and show me what's it like to be loved. Really loved."


	4. Part 4

**A/N: Part 4 is finished! Aren't you excited! And even more exciting, there's another part coming! An 'epilogue' of sorts. There was a lot I wanted to add to the ending of the story but it didn't match the theme of part 4 and also why not add a fifth part!**

 **Plus, there are TWO sequels planned. There's Bucky and Zach's wedding which is already in the works. It may take a while though but if you check the stories list it'll be call** _ **My Big Fat Gay Wedding**_ **. And then there will be a sequel sequel about the band that I am still fleshing out but yeah.**

 **Anyway, welcome to part four. If you didn't know, the original plan of this story was a very long one shot. And now we're at five parts and two sequels. So…yay! More parts. Thanks for sticking around everyone!**

 **TRIGGER WARNINGS: I know for a fact that this chapter has a lot of heavy stuff to deal with. A really big part of it deals with Addison contemplating suicide. You have been warned.**

 **Now enjoy!**

* * *

 **Friday, July 26 11:11am PST**

 **Seattle, Washington**

Zed woke up Friday morning feeling happier than he'd been in months. Things were finally looking up in his love life. The more time he spent trying to avoid his feelings for Addison, the harder he fell for her. And then finally, _finally,_ something happened. They kissed and they even went to bed together (which was more than he had ever expected to happen).

Everything came crashing down after that.

Addison was gone. Zed spent a half hour searching the room for any trace of her—everything was gone like she had left in a hurry. He quickly got dressed before leaving his room and going into the common area of their hotel room, finding Eliza and Bonzo sitting at the island with smug smiles. He ignored their looks and asked, "Have you guys seen Addison?"

"What? You lost your hookup from last night?"

"She's gone!" Zed exclaimed worriedly. "All her shit that was in my room is gone! No note, no nothing!"

"Dude, relax. Just call her."

Zed nodded and ran back to his room, grabbing his phone from his discarded jeans and unlocking it, calling Addison. It went straight to voicemail. He tried calling her five more times and every time it went straight to voicemail.

"It's not ringing!" he shouted in frustration as he walked quickly out of his room. "Why isn't it ringing! What's going on!"

"Her phone could be dead," Eliza offered, though it was obvious that even she didn't believe it.

 **Or she blocked you.** Bonzo signed.

"Dude!" Eliza sighed.

Zed groaned in frustration. He was worried about her, sure, but the possibility that she blocked him was just so childish. She didn't have to block him, they could've talked like adults. He hadn't forced her to do _anything_ , they could've talked about everything. But she just decided to skip town and block him and just run from her problems.

"Here, _I'll_ call her," Eliza said. "And prove to you that she didn't block you."

Zed and Bonzo watched as Eliza pulled out her phone and dialed Addison. Just as she put it on speaker, Addison's voicemail played.

"Call her again," Zed said. "Maybe it's our phones. Maybe we're the problem."

Eliza rolled her eyes and called her again (and again) and every time they got her voicemail. **If you text her and it's green then she blocked you** , Bonzo supplies helpfully.

Zed switched to a message and just said 'Hey.' "It's green," Zed sighed.

"Mine is too," Eliza said in confusion. They both looked at Bonzo, who nodded in agreement. "Why am I blocked? I'm not the one who manipulated her into sex and was bad at it."

"That's not what happened!" Zed groaned in frustration. "Please stop! Stop blaming me it's not my fault!"

"Then who's fault is it?" Eliza asked. "You were the last one with her and now she's gone! She's blocked our phones! Am I wrong to assume that it's your fault?"

"This is stupid. We shouldn't be arguing we-we should be trying to find Addison."

"How are we gonna find her? She's blocked us! She doesn't want us!"

"I-I…" Zed sighed. He looked down, then back up as an idea popped in his head. "Forgot my iPhone! I've got her Apple ID password, we can track her phone!"

Eliza gaped at him. "Why? Why do you have her Apple ID?"

"She was logging on and off on my laptop during this past week," Zed explained offhandedly. He unlocked his phone and went straight to the app in question.

"What the fuck," he breathed out. He looked up at them and said, "She's in Portland."

"What?"

Zed nodded. "Connected to WiFi in Portland, Oregon."

 **Could she have left her phone when we were there?**

"We were taking pictures on her phone last night at dinner," Eliza said.

"I'm gonna go find her," Zed decided.

Eliza stood up too. "We'll come with."

"No, you guys need to stay and cover for us," Zed said. "Maykel and Bree can't find out Addison is gone."

"Dude—"

"No," Zed stated. "You said this was my fault. If it's my fault then I need to fix it."

He jogged back to his room and got dressed quickly. He went back out with a backpack stuffed full of some hotel foods and some clothes (just in case). "I'm gonna rent a car and drive to Portland," he told them. "You guys handle things up here, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Eliza said. "Stay safe, Z."

* * *

 **Friday, July 26 11:18am PST**

 **Bay City, Oregon**

Addison sat with her phone a few inches away from her. It was early and low tide, but once it got later in the day and the tide came in, it'd be gone.

The beach was surprisingly empty for the middle of summer. Addison had been hoping to get lost in the noises of the city. She wanted to be alone but not entirely alone. She wanted the distraction of hundreds of people, bustling by and not noticing her where she could just be forgotten.

It was so easy to get swept away in the madness of a busy city. But it was even easier to vanish when you were completely alone.

Addison couldn't even bring herself to cry. She just felt so betrayed and wrong and… _dirty_. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. Everytime she looked at her own hands, she just wished they were gone and off. She hated herself and everything that had happened.

All she could think about was Snake. Everything with Snake and her life and everything. Zed wasn't Snake, but he could be. Snake was nice and supportive in the beginning and Zed was nice in the beginning. Snake changed after sex. Zed could change too.

What if Zed provoked Lucy? She could've gone through the same things that Addison did, and just reacted differently. It made Addison feel sick inside that Zed could be another version of Snake. That _she_ could end up in Lucy's shoes.

Addison stood up, acting on auto pilot as she lifted her phone and inspected it briefly. She stepped toward the water, letting it wash over her feet.

Addison threw her phone as far as she could, watching it hit the water and disappear from her view. She turned away, grabbing her shoes and walking off the beach. She didn't know what she would do, but she was sick of being some toy that people used and tossed away. She wouldn't go let that happen. She couldn't.

* * *

 **Friday, July 26 5:41pm PST**

 **Bay City, OR**

Halfway to Oregon, Addison's location changed from Portland to Bay City. Zed didn't think it was good that she had gone to such an isolated area. It made the trip four hours long and he had to take a break to eat a little something. He had done research and Bay City barely had a thousand people.

The four hour trip was two and a half hours. By the time he'd gotten to Bay City, Addison's phone was offline. He could track it as far as a beach that was completely empty.

He was basically running around this city he didn't know, looking for a girl he was in love with who had run away from him. It took him an hour to even find anyone who knew anything about Addison.

He found a waiter at a cafe and said to them, "I'm looking for a girl. She's about this tall, blonde and blue eyes and pale and skinny. It's really important that I find her."

"Yeah, she's walked past like half an hour ago or something," he answered.

"Really?"

The waiter nodded. "She headed that way." He pointed in the direction opposite of where Zed had come from. "She looked really out of it. She walked in and just stared and then came up to the counter. Then stared again then left."

"Jesus," Zed groaned. "Okay, thank you!"

He turned and ran out of the shop, then down the street. Zed _needed_ to find Addison. She was mentally unstable, suicidal. He didn't want her to live for his own selfish reasons. He wanted Addison to live the life she always dreamed, without hating herself or wishing herself dead.

He turned a corner and looked around. Zed sighed and put his hands on his head, taking a few deep breaths. He needed to think this through, get into her head and figure out where she might go.

Zed looked up at the sky, just on coincidence, and saw her. She was on the roof of the building across the street, slowly walking around the edges.

"Holy shit," he breathed out.

His mind was whirling as he ran into the building. There was an elevator, no front desk, and a staircase. Zed ran to the stairs and took them as fast as he could. ' _She could have jumped she might have jumped you need to go faster you need to go faster you need to save her. Save her from herself before she does something bad before she makes a mistake before she falls_.'

Zed burst through the top floor and ran to the end. There was a door at the end of the hallway that was clearly off limits and for roof access. Zed ran through the door and looked around, spotting Addison and running for her.

 _Balance_

Twenty-one years of pretending everything was fine. Everything in life was perfect and there was nothing wrong. Twenty-one years of faking a sort of balance.

Ten minutes of balancing on the edge of the roof. Somewhere in the back of her head, behind all the screaming and yelling and nightmares and hatred, Addison thought of how her actual balance was the only difference between life and death. She was on the edge between two planes. If she tilted too much one way, she would hit the concrete of the roof and be bruised a little. If she titled too much the other, it was just the end.

She'd done the math. She knew what would happen if she landed the wrong way. ' _The right way, if you wanna die_.' If she closed her eyes and just stood there, fate would take over. Life or death. Death or life.

So she stopped walking and closed her eyes. It wasn't up to her anymore. If it was, she might have leaned more to one side. The side with the wind.

Addison felt the force of gravity pulling on her. Her feet left the ground and something pulled on her arm. She knew that feeling, that smell.

Zed wrapped his arms around her tightly, completely engulfing her in his arms. "Addison," he breathed in a thick and out of breath voice. "Oh my god."

He was shaking and Addison felt a drop of water on the top of her head. ' _Snake never cried about you,_ ' she thought. ' _Zed is crying over you._ '

For the first time since waking up, Addison cried.

* * *

 **Friday, July 26 6:09pm PST**

 **Bay City, OR**

They cried in a tangle of limbs for another twenty minutes. They didn't say anything, just held each other in their arms for support and solidity. It felt good knowing that Zed was there, that he was real, and Zed felt the same way about Addison.

Zed got them to their feet and walked with Addison down the stairs and out of the building. He kept her tucked into his side and guided her away from where they had been.

Despite being a small town, Bay City had a little motel. Zed got a room and led Addison inside. He didn't know what to say to her so just didn't. He did notice how she would look at her own hands in disgust and horror and shock, feeling a little sense of blame for her self hatred.

They didn't just stand in a motel room. Zed guided her to the bathroom, turning on the water. Addison stood there, not meeting his eyes.

Zed moved to her, gently peeling off her clothes then helping her under the spray. She didn't resist, letting him scrub her skin down.

He didn't try anything. He took care of her, getting some towels and drying her off, then helping her into one of his shirts and extra boxers.

For the first time since he found her, Addison looked up at him. She opened her mouth to say something and Zed shook his head. "You should get some rest," he told her softly. "I think I'm gonna jump in the shower."

Addison nodded and moved to the only bed in the room. She wondered for a second where Zed would sleep. The thought left her head as she quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Zed went into the bathroom and pulled out his phone. He figured he should update Eliza and Bonzo on the situation at had. They'd have to figure out what they would do about the show that was supposed to happen the next night in Canada too.

 **Zed 6:22pm**

Hey friends

 **Eliza 6:22pm**

Answer your phone much! We've been calling and texting you for hours! Maykel doesn't know where you are and neither does Bree but she knows you're missing and he doesn't and we're on our way to fucking Vancouver!

 **Bonzo 6:23pm**

What's happening? Did you find Addison?

 **Zed 6:25pm**

Yes. We're gonna spend the night here and then I guess we'll try and meet you guys in Vancouver.

 **Eliza 6:25pm**

You guess? What the fuck happened!

 **Zed 6:26pm**

It's a really long story. I need to shower and go get the car before Addison wakes up. Just know that we're both okay right now.

 **Eliza 6:26pm**

Fine whatever.

 **Bonzo 6:27pm**

Stay safe dude.

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 8:12 am PST**

 **Bay City, OR**

 **Vancouver is 391 miles away**

 **Soundcheck at 3:30pm**

 **Concert at 7:00pm**

Addison woke up the next morning actually feeling a lot better than she had the day before. Not necessarily happy, but also not sad.

The bed was empty, and she felt a wave of fear that Zed had left her alone the night before. Until she saw him asleep in the desk chair, looking more uncomfortable than ever.

Zed had stayed with her, and hadn't taken advantage. He was quite possibly the sweetest human ever in existence. It made Addison feel bad for even comparing him to Snake.

Zed was nothing like him. He was empathetic and caring and soft. Everything she'd thought about him was just her mind screwing with her, trying to make her think something that wasn't true.

Zed woke up a few minutes after she did. He looked around, dazed and confused, until he spotted Addison and smiled slightly. Addison just looked at him and drew her knees up into her chest, shrinking into herself. She couldn't help but be a little afraid of Zed, no matter how kind he was to her.

"Good morning," Zed greeted in a gentle voice. "How are you feeling?"

Addison shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about yesterday?"

Addison shook her head.

"That's…that's fine," he said with a nod.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then Addison asked in a soft voice, "How are we gonna get to Canada by soundcheck?"

"You want to perform tonight?" Addison nodded. "Why?"

"It's my job."

"You can't just pretend that everything is fine, Addison. Everything is not fine. You ran away yesterday. You were gonna jump off a building. You wanted to kill yourself. And now you wanna go out there and pretend like nothing happened?"

Addison looked down, feeling ashamed of herself. "I…I like singing. I think it might be good for me."

"Oh," Zed said in realization. "I…we'll figure it out. We don't have our passports or anything, though. Maybe there's another way to cross the border without them."

"Thank you," Addison said softly.

Zed stood up and stretched. He groaned in satisfaction as his joints popped and Addison's lip twitched in a slight smile.

"I bought you some clothes last night," Zed said. "Eliza says that they left at noon yesterday. Bree's the only one who noticed that we aren't there but they're covering for us so Maykel can't find out."

"You bought me clothes?"

Zed nodded. "I had to go and find the car last night and eat dinner. Are you hungry? When's the last time you ate?"

Addison shrugged a little. She watched as Zed moved to sit down on the end of the bed. "Did you eat at all yesterday?" Zed asked, and she shook her head no.

"Okay…You can hop in the shower if you'd like, get changed. Try not to be long, 'cause we're pretty far from Vancouver and we need to figure out how we're gonna cross the border and get there in time for soundcheck."

"I…" Addison sighed and looked up at him. "Can we do what we did yesterday? Please?" she asked quietly.

Zed nodded quickly. "Yeah, of course! I mean—yes, I can. Come on."

Addison followed him to the bathroom. Zed turned on the water and Addison stripped, then stepped into the shower. Unlike the night before, she watched him as he cleaned her off. He didn't say anything. He didn't _do_ anything. He just took care of her, without necessarily being asked. She didn't deserve him.

Zed had gotten her underwear and leggings and a tee shirt. She still had the bra she had been wearing with her birthday dress. Addison opted to wear one of his extra shirts, then waited on the bathroom sink for him to finish in the shower. She didn't really want to be alone and Zed was fine with keeping a one sided conversation while in the shower.

They finished then got in the car that Zed had rented. "We need to eat breakfast at some point," Zed pointed out. "But we at least need to get out of Oregon, especially if we plan on making it to Vancouver before soundcheck."

Addison nodded in agreement.

"Do you have your license?" Zed asked. "I read that we can cross the border if we have identification and proof of citizenship."

"I don't have proof of citizenship," Addison said. "My license is with my dress."

"I'm curious as to why but you don't have to tell me," Zed said. "You said you know Bucky's number by heart?" Addison nodded. "Use my phone and ask him to fax a copy of your birth certificate. We can find a copy store when we stop for breakfast."

"Okay."

Zed glanced at her briefly, then asked, "Did you eat at all yesterday?"

Addison shook her head. "I fell asleep early."

"It's okay, don't sweat. We'll stop at the next town, get you your birth certificate and a nice hearty breakfast."

"Can I take a nap?" Addison asked.

"Go ahead. I'll wake you up when we stop."

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 9:18am PST**

 **Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)**

Eliza and Bonzo has gotten yelled at by Bree once she figured out that both Addison and Zed were missing. All of that had happened the day before, and by the next morning they were more concerned with where their friends were and if they would make it in time for the show or even soundcheck.

They had been sitting around, worrying themselves to the bone, when Eliza got a call from Zed. "Dude where are you!" Eliza shouted. "You didn't call me last night I'm worried sick!"

"Stop yelling," Zed said calmly. "Addison is sleeping and you're over the car speaker."

"The car?" Bree asked.

"Bree's there?"

"Yes. Where are you?"

"Driving through Oregon."

"You're in _Oregon_!" Bree shouted. "That's, like, seven hours away."

"I know, I know," Zed said with a sigh. "I found Addy yesterday and she was—she was gonna jump. So we spent the night here to relax and just catch our breaths and Addison still wants to perform tonight so we're gonna try to make it in time."

"Oh my god," Eliza breathed. "We should just cancel the show."

"That's what I said. She said she wants to perform." Zed explained. "The big problem is we might not be able to cross the border. We're gonna get Bucky to fax us her birth certificate but can you fax mine? I'll let you know when we get to a fax machine."

"Um, okay?"

"We haven't even eaten, I'm speeding to try and turn a seven hour drive into like four and I'm super stressed. Addison doesn't want to talk about what happened and I don't want to force her but she really needs to. I don't even wanna go on tonight."

"Then cancel the show," Eliza said.

"I doubt we could reschedule," Zed said. He sighed and said, "I gotta go I'm starving. I need to find food, can you guys get the papers ready? I'll call you when I'm there."

"Oh, okay. Be safe, Z."

"I will. Bye."

Eliza sighed and hung up, dropping her phone on the counter. "Where are our paperworks?"

"I'll go get them." Bree said as she stood up, leaving the room.

"They are _still_ in Oregon," Eliza stated. "Fuck."

 **They can make it** , Bonzo signed confidently. **You know Zed can drive like a maniac**.

"They don't even have their passports and I doubt Addison is in any condition to sing tonight," Eliza went on. "We are so fucked."

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 10:57am PST**

 **Carrolls, WA**

 **Vancouver is 272 miles away**

 **Soundcheck at 3:30pm**

 **Concert at 7:00pm**

Zed and Addison had managed to go to a library and get copies of their birth certificates. Bucky didn't ask any questions, which was a surprise considering he never really did anything without questioning it. They then went to a nearby Denny's. They weren't really disguised; Zed had on a beanie and sunglasses and Addison had braided her hair and put on one of Zed's extra sunglasses. Zed's hair was still bright green and peeking out from under his hat.

Luckily, the Denny's was empty except for a few stragglers here and there who had probably never heard of iZombie. "We should just order to go," Addison grumbled. "We'll never make it at this rate."

It was the most she had spoken in two days and Zed was a little surprised. She hadn't even talked a lot when she was on the phone with Bucky.

"If I'm buying breakfast then I get to decide how we eat it," Zed said with a shrug. "Besides, we can't eat in the car. It's a rental, and I am not losing any more money on it."

"But we have four hours," Addison argued. "We gotta cross the border and not to mention it's still six hours away. We'll miss soundcheck, you have to spend two hours in hair and makeup."

"You're right, we should just cancel the show."

Addison frowned but didn't say anything. Their server came and took their orders, then they continued to sit in silence as they waited for their food.

They ate in relative silence. They both went quickly through their food, wanting to be back on the toad as soon as possible. When the check came, their waitress made it known that she had recognized them and had figured they were trying to be incognito.

"I'm sorry, I'm just such a huge fan," she gushed. "I love your music and—oh my god, Addison, your voice is so beautiful."

Addison forced a small smile. "Do you want a picture?"

The waitress nodded quickly and excitedly. Both Zed and Addison got up from their booth and Zed took her phone, taking a few selfies of the three of them.

"If you plan on posting that, can you wait a half hour? So we can get out of here, since we're supposed to be in Canada as of right now."

"Of course! Thank you so much!"

"No problem. We love our fans." Zed said with a smile.

"Um, can I ask you a question?" Zed nodded. "Are you guys dating?"

Addison flinched a little and shook her head. "No."

Zed glanced at her and said, "Yeah, we aren't together."

"Oh! Okay!"

"We need to go now," Addison interjected. "We have a show in a few hours in another country."

"It was nice meeting you guys!"

"You too!"

Addison made her way to the exit and Zed followed her. They got in the car and Zed pulled out of the lot, heading to the highway.

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 3:08pm PST**

 **Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)**

" _Shit_." Both Bonzo and Eliza turned to look at Bree. She glanced up at them worriedly, then clicked a few buttons on her phone. Both their phones buzzed and they unlocked it, opening the website Bree had sent them.

 _ **EXCLUSIVE: iZombie band members Zed and Addison Secret Relationship!**_

"Oh no," Eliza muttered.

She didn't read the article and focused on the pictures. The cover shot was of them making out outside of the club a few nights ago. There were some of them dancing practically on top of each other, drinking at the bar, and more angles of them kissing outside. Then there were some from a morning none of them recognized; Zed and Addison were walking, Zed had his arm around her and Addison was leaning into his side.

"Maykel is gonna lose his shit," Eliza said, looking up.

Bonzo put his phone down then signed, **We have to tell Zed this**.

Elisa nodded in agreement. "I'll text him. Warn him before I send the link."

"There are so many more," Bree chimed in. "There were paparazzi in our hotel. Zed and Addison are making out against the room door, practically stripping each other."

"Please tell me there are no nudes."

Before Bree could answer, their hotel room unlocked and Maykel walked in, clearly fuming. "Where are they?" He demanded.

The three of them looked at each other nervously. "Don't freak out," Eliza started.

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 3:37pm PST**

 **US-Canada Border**

 **Vancouver is 31 miles away**

 **Soundcheck at 3:30pm**

 **Concert at 7:00pm**

"We're late we're so late," Addison said. "You shouldn't have gone back for me."

"Don't say that," Zed told her.

"No. You should've went with them and left me. You can sing you can manage a whole show without me."

"Addison," Zed groaned.

"Am I wrong? You don't need me to perform. You have enough songs to get by without me. You could write more. You only keep me around because—because nothing."

Zed turned around and grabbed her by her shoulders. "Addison, I went back for you because I care. Eliza cares, Bonzo cares. Bree cares. We all care about you."

Addison looked at him, her eyes filled with hopelessness and despair. "I need you as much as I need oxygen. I couldn't write music like you do, I couldn't sing like you do. No one is as amazing as you because there's only one version of you. That's the person that I—that we need."

Zed's eyes shifted to the side, where people around them had started to listen in. He had been too loud and people would be in their business. It would be a few hours before word spread to the news.

He lowered his voice when he said, "Its okay if you can't be that person that I need right now. It's perfectly fine. Just tell me, and I'll rearrange the set list and we'll let the show go on. If you can't perform tonight, just say the word."

Her lips quivered as she struggled to find the right words to say. Finally, after a few silent seconds, she whispered in a shaky voice, "I don't wanna let anyone down."

Zed sighed in relief. "Worry about yourself, Addison. Please, just take care of yourself. I told you I'd take care of you and I will keep that promise. Worry about you and I'll worry about them."

Addison nodded and ducked her head down. "I-thank you," she whispered. "I-I'm sorry that you have to keep putting up with my bullshit."

Zed pulled her into him and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked forward. "I'm _not_ 'dealing with your bullshit.' I'm just taking care of my own."

Addison tucked her head into his side as they finished going through the immigration office. They were back on the road and in Canada at four.

"Eliza's calling," Addison muttered offhandedly.

They weren't moving so Zed picked it up from the cup holder and answered. "Hello?"

" _You're trending,_ " Eliza stated. " _Are you actually stupid? You know better than to make out in public!_ "

"What're you talking about?"

" _Paparazzi got pictures of you and Addison dry humping in the club and making out outside of it and then walking hand and hand—I'll send you the article. But you two are in deep shit_."

Zed grinned and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Send it to me. We're on our way over, we just crossed the border."

" _You_ just _crossed the border? It took us almost two hours to get from the border to the hotel._ "

"Perfect. We'll get there by six. I'll go to hair and makeup and Addison can get some rehearsal in."

" _Didn't Addison attempt suicide?_ "

"Yes."

" _And you're gonna make her perform?_ "

"I tried to convince her not to go on," Zed said defensively.

Addison looked at him and gave him a curious expression. "Are you talking about me?" she whispered.

Zed nodded. " _Okay, whatever you say. I gotta get back to soundcheck, though it's pretty hard when your guitarist and singer are missing!_ "

"Shut up. I'll see you soon."

" _You're on the clock Necrodopolus. You better be ready to kill it tonight. Especially…especially if Addison actually can't perform._ "

"I know. I'll text you Okay?"

" _Bye_."

Zed switched to iMessage quickly. As soon as he opened his chat with Eliza, she sent him a link to an article where the headline was about him.

 **Eliza 4:11pm**

There's a lot more too

 **Zed 4:12pm**

Don't let Addison find out. She doesn't have her phone so it shouldn't be hard but don't mention it around her

 **Zed 4:14pm**

On the bus, in my bunk, there's a backpack. There are a couple of folders inside they have songs I've been writing. If Addison can't perform and our set is short, work those in. Let me know what you chose so I know what we're doing.

 **Eliza 4:14pm**

Okay. Stay safe

"Um, Zed, why were you talking about me?" Addison asked a little nervously.

Zed started the engine and pulled into the road. "We were just talking about the set for tonight," Zed explained. "Eliza also thinks you shouldn't perform."

"Eliza can suck my dick," Addison grumbled. Zed laughed and glanced at her, seeing her smiling.

It was the first time Addison had really, truly smiled in days. It made him feel warm inside, seeing her smile after such a rough few days.

"You can play the album and sing with it since we're missing soundcheck," Zed told her. "You know my phone password."

"Okay."

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 5:01pm PST**

 **Surrey, British Columbia (Canada)**

 **Vancouver is 23 miles away**

 **Concert at 7:00pm**

Addison hadn't sung with the music, instead just listening to their album as it played. It had been a little more than forty minutes; Zed was sick of driving, considering he'd been driving for almost seven hours on and off. His leg hurt and his arms were straining. He let his arm drop down and onto the center console, letting out a huff.

As soon as he did, Addison linked her fingers in his. Zed startled a little and look at her. "You okay?" Addison asked. "I-You've done so much for me. I haven't even considered how you might be feeling."

"I'm okay," Zed assured her. "A little tired but—"

"Did you sleep last night?" Addison asked. "I-I remember you had trouble sleeping. Nightmares and…yeah."

Zed smiled a little. "No dreams last night," he told her. "How did you sleep? I saw you looked…not peaceful. Like you were fighting or something."

Addison shrugged. "I didn't have a nightmare, if that's what you're wondering," she answered.

"Okay," Zed said. He glanced at their still intertwined hands, then back at the road.

"Zed?"

"Yes?"

"What are we doing?"

Zed answered without looking away from the road. "Trying to make the show in like two hours."

"No, I mean, what are _we_ doing?" Addison sighed. "Can you just…just tell me the truth. Just say that it was just sex and we can just go back to whatever normal was."

"It-it wasn't just sex," Zed told her. "Addy, we need to be honest with each other, right now. I'll tell you how I truly, honestly feel about you. You'll tell me how you truly, honestly feel about me. And we'll go from there."

"Uh, okay."

Zed took a deep breath. "Okay. I…I saw this thing once that said if you love two people, you should leave the first and go for the second because if you really loved the first person you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

"Okay?"

"I broke up with Lucy because I realized that I am in love with you," he said. He refused to look at her to gauge her reaction. "And then you told me what happened with Snake, and I knew that I couldn't just—I couldn't tell you. I didn't want you to think of me as some repeat or something. I dunno, it sounds stupid."

"Oh, okay," Addison said, her voice soft and quiet. "I…You were my celebrity crush. You know that, you saw me on the first day. You're so cute and funny and you have such a pretty smile."

Zed smiled a little.

"Um, I don't know when I started liking you for real and not just as my celebrity crush. And I-I just couldn't ever tell you because you-you deserve someone pretty and fun and just…not me."

Zed looked at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're all I want. You're all I need. You're Addison Davis, and that's more than what I deserve."

He glanced at her and saw her looking at him, her eyes red and watery and a small smile on her face. "You're _way_ more than I deserve," she said in a choked up voice.

Zed smiled and looked back at the road. He pulled over to the shoulder, then switched into park. He turned to face Addison, reaching up and holding her face in his hands.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?"

"Mhm."

They leaned over the console and kissed, soft and gently. It lasted a few seconds before Addison pulled back, smiling slightly. Zed swiped his thumbs on her cheeks, wiping away her tears.

"Are we dating now?" Zed asked.

"If that's okay with you," Addison answered. "It would be nice."

Zed smiled and leaned forward, kissing her nose. "Okay, we have a show to get to."

He fixed himself in his seat and switched back to drive, pulling onto the highway again. "Oh, also, we're both trending because there's pictures of us dancing at the club and making out and yeah."

"What?"

* * *

 **Saturday, July 27 6:22pm PST**

 **Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)**

 **Concert at 7:00pm**

Traffic was a bitch. The roads were packed because of their show, which was good but also bad. They got as close as they could get and then parked in a hotel parking lot, then ran the rest of the way. It took ten minutes to get through security ('I am Zed Necrodopolus I'm supposed to perform tonight!').

A stage manager collected them at the entrance and rushed them backstage. They both were brought into the makeup room, where their friends were relaxing until they showed up. They all jumped up and rushed toward Zed and Addison; Zed stepped in front of Addison slightly, shielding her from them.

"Where were you guys!" Eliza demanded.

"We were worried!" Bree gushed.

"Explain later," Zed said. "We gotta get to makeup."

"You're damn right you do," Maykel said from the back. "Get changed first. I need to go over set changes with Addison while you're in makeup."

Zed glanced back at Addison, who nodded. "Okay, but I have to get dressed and in makeup too."

Zed went to his wardrobe rack while Maykel led Addison out of the room. "What happened?" Eliza asked.

"It's not important right now," Zed repeated. "Can you get me my guitar? It needs to be tuned for tonight."

Eliza rolled her eyes but went to find his guitar.

Outside, Addison and Maykel were walking down the hall toward her own dressing room. "Eliza gave me a quick run down but I'd be nice if you could tell me something," Maykel said, firm but gently. "Is everything okay?"

Addison nodded. "I'm—I-I wasn't but I'm doing better now."

Maykel raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to perform if you don't want to," he reminded her. "Zed gave us a backup in case you couldn't. They're all ready in case…"

Addison nodded in understanding. "Thank you. I-I want to try still. I made a promise and the people of Vancouver are expecting a show. I wanna give them everything I've got."

"You're one hundred percent positive?"

Addison nodded. "I—Maybe we could change the set list? Reorder some songs. Songs I'd rather do first, if that's possible."

"Of course. Go and get changed and I'll get you the set list. Change whatever you want."

Addison nodded again then went inside her dressing room. She went over and grabbed her outfit—pastel pink jeans and a pink, a white striped shirt and a pink jacket that matched the jeans. She went back to the mirror and stared at her reflection.

She hadn't looked at herself in days. She didn't even look at herself in the shower; she didn't have to, considering Zed did everything for her. All she had to do was dress herself which didn't require much looking.

Addison expected to see some frail girl that needed to be fixed, someone who was broken in every way possible, a hideous disaster that'd been storming through everyone's lives. But she just saw herself: five foot two, blonde hair, pale skin. Dressed in leggings and a tee shirt, eyes a little puffy from crying.

She took a step closer to the mirror and stared at herself longer. She couldn't stop thinking of herself as wrong and she couldn't help but feel dirty and used. But people out there loved her, apparently.

Whenever Zed would clean her in the shower, she felt a layer of baggage and self hate just wash away. It wasn't his job to fix her and yet he was so willing to help her.

Addison smiled at her reflection a little. She was still dirty and wrong but she was _Addison_ , and that's what mattered.

She pulled her shirt over her head and set it down on the bench under the mirror. "Holy shit," she muttered. She had actual hickeys, trailing down from her collarbone and disappearing in her bra. Some went up her neck but there were few.

She couldn't help but laugh a little as she got changed. She did some light makeup—some concealer to cover the hickeys then fixed her face up—then made her way back to the Zombie dressing room.

Maykel was waiting for her outside, handing her a sheet of paper. "Zed gave us seven songs," he explained. "Our set is twenty-two. You can do the math."

"Okay, thank you."

They walked back to the dressing room. There was about ten minutes until 'curtains.' They're opening act would go first and take at least forty minutes, so they had some time to finish Zed's makeup, though they would be cutting it close.

Zed was sitting in his makeup chair and Eliza was across from him, holding his guitar. She looked up when Addison walked in and stood up, thrusting the guitar in her hands. "Tune this."

Addison pushed it back. "I have to edit the set list, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever," Eliza grumbled. "Bonzo, can you do this?"

Bonzo rolled his eyes but motioned Eliza over. The two of them set to work to tune the guitar while Addison sat down across from Zed.

"Hello," Zed greeted.

"Hi."

"What're you doing?"

"Reordering the set. Putting my top seven at the top because someone had written seven songs behind my back."

Zed smiled. "I won't apologize for that."

Addison hummed and looked at the set list. She wrote numbers next to all the songs she sang on, eliminating a few she didn't have the energy for at all. Any song she had to dance in she just crossed out completely (there were three songs where she had actual choreography).

When she finished, she took the acoustic guitar and tuned it up. She used it for a little vocal warmup, sing the first verses and occasionally the chorus of a few songs.

Zed finished in makeup as the opening act started their last song of their set. They had the four minute song, plus another ten or fifteen to swap the stage.

"First half is twelve songs," Zed said. "Get through one, that's all you have to do. If you can't finish at any point, just get off the stage."

Addison nodded in understanding. Zed placed his hands on her cheeks, drawing her attention directly to his face. "Promise me you'll tell me once you can't do anymore."

"I promise," she said softly. She put her hands over his wrist, leaning her head in his hands. "I just have to get through a few songs. I can do this."

Zed smiled a little, then gave her a soft kiss. "We're gonna crush this," he told her once they pulled apart. "I'll take care of you, don't worry."

"I know you will," she whispered with a smile.

The stage manager came around the corner and said, "Seven minutes."

Zed nodded and waited for the manager to leave before kissing Addison again.

"Damn, okay," Eliza said. "When did this happen?"

"Irrelevant," Zed said. "We've got a show to do."

Eliza rolled her eyes and grumbled to herself. Zed just smiled and gave Addison one last peck on the lips, then stepped away from her.

Eliza led their pre-show pep talk. Usually Zed did it but he asked Eliza to take over because he hadn't been there in two days. Eliza kept it simple though, "Another notch in the headboard. Then let's get wasted."

"Woo!" Zed cheered.

They weren't starting with _Bamm_ like they usually did. It was the first song on the set list and the first song Addison took off. She wouldn't admit it to anyone but she didn't want to do songs with too much energy. _Bamm_ was too…lively.

Instead they were starting with the first song on their album, _Little Do You Know_. No choreography needed. The next song in their set was _Flare Guns_. Next they did _Let Me Go_ , then _Nothing to Regret_. There was usually a song sung by Zed between the two but they changed it to all of Addison's songs first.

Next they did _Mood,_ then _Hell Nos and Headphones_. Addison managed to get through all of the songs without any problems. She had mastered the art of pretending ages ago.

Then came _Most Girls_. Addison wasn't sure what came over her. She hadn't even made it to the chorus before she started to feel panicked. Her vision tunneled for what felt like hours and she felt like she might vomit. Her chest was tight and her ears were ringing. Every breath was painful and she felt like she would cry if she could just find her breath.

Then all of her senses came rushing back. Addison was gasping for air and nearly dropped to the ground. Except someone grabbed her under her arms and eased her into the ground.

"Hey, hey, you're okay Addy," Zed whispered gently in her ear. "Deep breaths, okay? Just take some deep breaths."

Addison was still wheezing. Her chest burned with every breath and her eyes stung. The lights were too bright and the stage was too loud and everything was just too much.

She hadn't realized she had been gasping out words. Someone pushed something in her ears and all the sound went away. She was pulled to her feet and led somewhere; she couldn't even remember that she was supposed to be putting on a concert.

Addison let herself be led until she realized she was away from the stage and the noise and everything. It was dark and chilly and she realized she was outside.

"Just breathe," Zed said softly. "Catch your breath, okay? You're okay, Addy. You're okay."

It took a few minutes; Addison squeezed his hand tightly and stood up straight, looking up and breathing deeply. She started sobbing and Zed continued to whisper encouraging words to her.

Then she dropped her head on his shoulder and cried against him. Zed wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. He was like a wall ready to support her. Zed would always be more than what she deserved.

Some time later, she felt cried out. Addison was exhausted but also felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

Once he noticed she had quieted down to mere hiccups, Zed asked, "Are you okay?"

"I dunno," Addison said weakly. "I-I don't know what happened. I just…and—I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he told her. Addison looked up at him and saw him giving her the most sincere and understanding look. "These past few days have been a mess. We talked about your birthday in the _car_ for fuck's sake. We didn't even mention your attempted suicide."

"Zed…"

"We don't have to talk now if you don't want to. But you can't avoid it forever. You can't just let everything bottle up inside anymore Addison."

Addison felt her eyes stinging again. _Of course_ Zed had a point, she just had a breakdown or a panic attack or something on stage because she had been trying to ignore all of her problems for as long as possible.

"I can't finish the show," she muttered. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. You shouldn't have even gone out there tonight. I'm sorry."

Addison just rested her head against his chest again. They stayed like that for a few more seconds, then Zed led them back inside.

"Zed," Addison said decisively. "I wanna go out there. I owe our fans an explanation, at least."

"Okay," Zed nodded.

They rounded a corner and we're back at the stage entrance. Bonzo and Eliza and Maykel and even the stage managers were standing around.

"Oh god, Addison are you okay?" Eliza asked.

Bonzo moved as if he were going to wrap Addison in a tight embrace but stopped.

Addison shook her head to answer Eliza's question. "I'm gonna sit out the rest of the show," she explained. "But…I owe them an explanation."

Eliza nodded. "That makes sense." She then offered Zed his guitar. "Let's get out there, huh?"

Addison didn't know if her fans actually cared or if it was just a Canadian thing, by they all cheered for her when she apologized and gave the stage over to Zed. She had taken out her earplugs and could catch a few shouts of support.

Bree took her to the control room first. They had screens set up where they were watching the show from all different kinds of angles, controlling what was going up on the screens.

Addison watched for a few minutes, then turned to Bree and asked, "Is there a piano around here?"

"Yeah, I'll show you." Maykel answered.

Addison followed him out of the control room and down a few different halls, then into a room filled with instruments. "I'll get you when the show's over."

Addison nodded and waited for him to leave before heading over the the baby grand in the corner. She sat down and stared at the keys.

She would have to talk about everything, sooner rather than later. She owed it to her bandmates—her _friends_ —to give them something, instead of just walking in and pretending nothing happened.

And there was still the sudden weakness and panic in the middle of the show. Maybe it was a mix of her current mental state and the fact that she had avoided food as much as possible. It was just a theory.

Slowly, Addison placed her hands in the middle starting position. She played scales first, then easy beginner songs. She just wanted to play music now.

She played around with scales and chords, putting different notes in placed they usually weren't. Addison went from mindlessly playing the piano to actually getting notes and chords together in a song.

Sometime later, Bree came and told Addison she could go ahead and get changed so they could just get back on the bus. The show was almost over anyway so Addison washed off her makeup and changed back into the clothes Zed had given her. Bree walked her to the bus where the two of them waited for the other three members of the band.

Addison was tired but couldn't fall asleep. It didn't mean that she didn't try. She laid down in her bunk and closed her eyes but just couldn't help fall asleep.

She heard Eliza, Bonzo, and Zed get onto the bus. They had a hushed conversation with Bree, then Addison heard footsteps heading toward her. She didn't do anything differently and watched as Zed looked into her bunk. He looked at her in surprise and whispered, "Bree said you were asleep."

"I'm tired," Addison muttered. "I can't sleep."

"We're going back to the hotel. I'm sure you'll have better chances once you're in a real bed."

"When are we leaving?"

"Vancouver?" Addison nodded. "Tomorrow morning. We don't have to be in Minnesota until Friday."

"Okay," Addison said. "Um, do you think I could sleep in your room tonight?"

"Of course. You don't even have to ask. You could've just showed up and I would've been like 'okay cool.'"

Addison smiled a little. "Okay. I'm gonna pretend to sleep now."

Zed smiled and kissed her nose. "Okay, I'm going to the bathroom."

* * *

 **Sunday, July 28 1:09am PST**

 **Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)**

The hotel was very similar to their previous hotel. Eliza and Bonzo had taken Addison and Zed's stuff up already and gave them the keys to their rooms.

Addison went to her room and grabbed the one suitcase they had brought up, then went over to Zed's room. Zed was in the bathroom with the door open, brushing his teeth in only his boxers.

He smiled at Addison and she walked into the bathroom, leaning against the sink. Zed rinsed his mouth, then looked at her. "Ready for bed?" he asked.

"I actually wanted to show you something," she said.

Zed raised a curious eyebrow. Addison pulled her tee shirt up over her head. He looked at her, mildly surprised.

"Did you know that I had no idea about all these hickeys?" she said. "I was very surprised when I was getting dressed today."

"You didn't notice?"

Addison shook her head. "And, bless your soul, there's barely any on my neck. No one would notice unless I were to take off my shirt."

Zed laughed, a tiny bit awkwardly. "To tell you the truth, it was a trick I had to learn because—"

"She who shall not be named insisted?"

Zed nodded.

"I kinda figured that much." Addison said. "Just a little note for next time: I don't give a fuck where you kiss and bite me and shit. I just want you to fuck me, when we both want it. And—" She pulled on his arm a little, moving him between her legs, then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want the world to know that I'm yours."

* * *

 **Sunday, July 28 9:09am PST**

 **Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)**

The trip was from Vancouver to Missoula, Montana, where they'd stop for the night then get back on the road in the morning. They ate breakfast at the hotel then got on the road at nine.

As soon as they were on the road and settled in the bus, Eliza asked, "Okay Addison, you've had plenty of time to figure out what you're going to tell us. I don't care what you say I just want something. And it'd be really great if you started from when or why you fucked Zed. The first time, not last night."

Addison laughed a little. "Well, um. We were at the club, in Seattle, and I thought I saw…and I left because I panicked and…Zed followed me and I was just being stupid and insane and it wasn't Snake it was just some dude who looked a lot like him and everything just happened and I kissed him."

"You just kissed him?"

"I'm not going into the backstory of my feelings for Zed," Addison stated.

"Sorry. Go on."

"I'm not gonna tell you about the sex. It's not relevant." Addison said. "But, um, there was a lot going on at that point. With the drinking and threat of Snake and just everything—I wanted a release and Zed was right there and—" She looked at Zed and whispered, "I'm sorry for…for just using you."

Zed looked down at the ground but didn't say anything. "And then…then I woke up and was hungover and in pain and I just kept thinking about every other time I'd had sex. And I couldn't stop thinking that I was back where I came from and I-I panicked and left."

"Why did you block us though?" Eliza asked.

"I was running away," Addison explained. "I've run away before. I didn't want to be found. I blocked Zed because I was scared of him. But I blocked you guys—anyone who might call me—so I didn't have to worry about you finding me. So I could have time to…to get rid of my phone."

"Um, where is your phone?" Bree asked.

"In the ocean. Off the coast of Oregon is where I last saw it." Addison said. "Um, anyway. I'm not… _keen_ on jumping. There's always that chance of survival, no matter how small. You can go in the water and if you use a good weight you'll drown. Cut the right blood vessel or any enough and you'll bleed. Swallow enough pills you'll be poisoned. Trust me, I know how to kill myself. Jumping is never a sure way to die because you can always survive.

"But if you snap your neck or land on your head, you're dead. Head injuries are fatal. All you have to do is land _just_ right and it's done. No one can save you once you're dead." Addison laughed a little bitterly, a little maniacally.

"Do you know what it feels like to be used? To be abused? To hate looking at yourself because you just feel dirty and inhuman? It fucking _sucks_ , okay?" Her eyes started to sting again, filling up with tears. "It sucks when your life isn't your own anymore. I hated being alive before and I hate feeling like my only purpose was some toy and I was only needed for sex and I just hate that feeling. I didn't think it would happen again and when I thought it was happening I panicked and I wanted to die so it couldn't happen because I can't go through that again. I just _can't_."

It was hard to breathe between all the talking and the sobbing. Addison stood up and brought her hands up to her hairline, pacing up the length of the bus. "And then Zed was just there and he was crying _over me_ and I realized that there was no way Zed could be like Snake because Snake was a heartless asshole who abused me in every way possible and Zed was there and he drove _hours_ to find me and he was fucking _crying_ over me and—and I had been thinking that no one cared about me and they just wanted to use me and I was going to kill myself to end my misery and no one would miss me but-but Zed was there and he cared and he just—I just—I can't even explain it."

She stopped at the front of the bus and looked at them. She blinked and wiped her eyes. "I guess it's what happens when you take on someone who's mentally unstable as your little pet project, huh?"

"Addy—" Bree said, but Addison cut her off.

"I'm going to the back don't come talk to me. Please."

She walked quickly to the back of the bus, closing the curtains and the doors as she passed them. They all watched her as she left, then stared at the closed curtain.

After a quiet moment, Eliza said, "That was a lot."

Bonzo nodded in agreement. **How are we gonna help her?**

Eliza looked to Zed, who opened his mouth to say something. "I…I gotta make a call. I'm gonna do it in the bathroom so don't eavesdrop."

He stood up and nodded, then walked through the curtain, heading to the bathroom.

* * *

 **Sunday, July 28 12:33pm PST**

 **Bellevue,Washington**

Zed walked into the music room of the bus, where Addison was sitting at the keyboard, headphones over her ears. She looked up at him and pulled the headphones down around her neck.

"Zed? I-Sorry I never went back out there. I-I got into the song I was working on and…"

"I'm not upset or anything," Zed said. "I just wanted to check on you. It's nearly lunchtime. Are you hungry?"

"I think you know my answer."

Zed laughed a little. "You gonna pretend to eat at least? Like at breakfast?"

Addison shook her head. "Songwriting. You know how it goes."

"Yeah, I do," Zed said. "Do you mind if I stay? I've been kinda hiding from them for the past…hours."

"Have a seat. Just don't judge anything you hear." Zed sat down in a chair next to her. "Um, I also wanted to make sure you knew that the sex wasn't just what I said it was."

"Addison, I'm not stupid. You were drunk and emotional, I know what was happening."

"Then…then why did you let it happen?"

"I…This may sound stupid or bad but I just wanted a chance with you. Any chance I could get. I just wanted one chance with you, no matter what."

"I feel like I should be a little upset at that," Addison said. "But you're cute when you're desperate."

Zed laughed a little. "Can I get a kiss?"

Addison smiled and wrapped an arm around his neck, planting a kiss on his lips. Zed smiled and pulled his lips back. "Can I ask what you thought about last night?" he whispered.

"All I'll say is that I was so glad I wasn't drunk."

Zed let out a breath. "I was a little worried, you know? You're so amazing and beautiful and sweet and I didn't want to lose you because I love you."

"Don't worry, I'm all yours," Addison said with a smile. " _Someone_ made sure of that."

Zed chuckled and gave her a peck. "I was just following orders. I mean, I could do more if you'd like."

"More?"

Zed leaned into her ear and whispered to her, making her laugh and blush. "Okay, more sounds really nice," she agreed. "But I just got really into this song."

"Oh, you think I can't wait until we're at the hotel? The real questions is if you can."

Addison laughed and pulled away from him. "You rock Zed. I'm gonna finish this. I'm in the creative zone. I've cranked out a whole emotional song. It's just getting touches and I really like it. I think it really shows how I've been feeling."

"Knowing you and your skills, it'll be great," Zed said. "Also, you reminded me of why I came in here originally."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to try therapy."

Addison raised an eyebrow at him. "Isn't therapy for crazy people? Do you think I'm insane?"

"Therapy isn't for 'crazy people', it's for people who need help. I _have_ to go to therapy. I didn't get a choice but I'm not upset about it."

"Why are you in therapy?"

"Because of what happened with Lucy. I have to do three months with Dr. Erin, then it's her call on where to go from there. The point is that she said she can recommend you to someone, if you want. You don't have to go but it could help to get it all out. It helps me but everyone's different."

"Oh. Um, okay. Not okay to therapy. I'll…I'll think about it."

"Okay. I just want what's best for you, so if you don't think you wanna go, you don't have to. But trust me, it feels really good to go and have someone to talk to and hear what they think. Bonzo is always nice and Eliza is Eliza. But hearing what Dr. Erin has to say just…it just makes me feel a lot lighter, if that makes sense."

Addison nodded but furrowed her brows. "Um, when do you go to therapy?"

"She works around our tour schedule. Video call twice a week." Zed shrugged.

"Okay. I'm gonna go back to music now."

Zed nodded. "I'll leave you to it." He stood up, then kissed the top of her head. "I'll bring you some lunch, okay? You gotta eat something."

Addison smiled at him, nodded, then watched him as he left. She hadn't even pulled her headphones back on before Zed came back. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing, but Zed took her jaw in his hands and gave her a deep kiss. Addison let her hands fall from the headphones and laced them in his hair.

Zed pulled back, a little out of breath. "I just want you to know I'm really happy you're still here."

Addison gave him a breathless smile. "I am too."


	5. Epilogue

**Wednesday, July 31 10:51am CDT**

 **Minneapolis, Minnesota**

On Monday they stopped in Dickenson, North Dakota, for the night. By Tuesday night they had finally made it to Minneapolis.

They had a lot to work to do on Wednesday, starting with dealing with the press issues and ending with fixing their set list for Friday.

Addison and Zed had fallen into a routine over the past couple of days. They stayed in the same hotel room and cuddled and slept, no nightmares. They would shower together (just shower, mostly), then rejoin their friends for meals.

In Minneapolis, after breakfast, they met in the conference room in the hotel. They hadn't been in there for five minutes before the door burst open. Addison turned as she heard the sound of her cousin calling her name.

Bucky ran across the room to her and she stood up just as he threw his arms around her. "Oh my god, Addy," he breathed out. " _Oh my god_ are you okay?"

He held her at arms length and looked over her. "What the _fuck_ Addison! I had to hear about _everything_ that's happened this week from your new boyfriend! You didn't even tell me you had a boyfriend! _Addison_!"

"Bucky," Addison said calmly. "How did you get here? What're you doing here? Why are you here?"

Zach came running in after Bucky. "We drove for a whole day! He wouldn't let me take bathroom breaks!" he exclaimed out of breath.

Addison giggled a little. "Bucky, we're about to have a meeting."

"Fuck you're meeting," he snapped. "You and I have to talk right now! I don't care what you have to say, but you owe me something!"

"Okay!" Addison said. "Right now?"

"Yes right now!"

"Okay. But not here."

Addison ducked out from Bucky's arms and walked over to Zed. "Room key please."

Bucky watched them with furrowed brows. Zed handed over the room key and Addison led them out of the conference room.

"So," Eliza said, looking at Zach. "How you been?"

"Good. Handling things back at the office. We've been getting lots of questions about Zed and Addison and have no idea what to do. I'm technically here on business."

"I haven't been on Twitter all week. Is it that bad?"

Everyone in the room all said, "Yes," at around the same time.

"It's a good thing Addison doesn't have her phone. There's a lot of hate directed toward her."

Zed pursed his lips. "My fault, I'm guessing."

"No one is blaming you, but it is," Zach said. "I was thinking you could clear it up on Kevin Carter's radio show. The station had a studio a few miles away and I'm sure we could work something out."

They all looked to Maykel, who nodded in his chair. "Sounds good. Translate to Addison once she gets back. Make sure you figure out what you wanna say. I won't start this discussion with her gone."

Zach sat down in one of the empty chairs. "Also, is Addison okay? I saw the video where she…passed out, I think? No idea."

"It's on YouTube?"

"Yup." Zach said. "Five million views when I last checked. Everyone is super confused. One day Addison and Zed are making out in a club and the next she's passing out on stage. Hell, we're confused at the office."

Zed laughed dryly. "I want to check what's going on but I bet it'll be a lot to catch up on."

"Trust me, you don't wanna see it," Eliza said.

The conference room door opened. As if she could hear their whole conversation, Addison said, "The internet's stupid anyway."

Zed turned in his chair and smiled at her. "What're you talking about?" he asked with a slightly amused smile.

Addison walked over to him and plopped down in his lap. "I hate the human race. They all suck."

"Aw, don't say that. What're they saying about you?" Zed asked, petting her hair.

"The real question is what _aren't_ they saying?" Bucky mumbled as he sat down next to his fiancé.

"I'm open to ideas everyone," Maykel said. "We have _a lot_ of damage control to do. I liked Zach's idea with connecting to a radio show."

"Idea—and I'm not getting paid for this so appreciate this: a press day. Invite magazines and blogs and shit to spend the day with you, preferably a show day, and just talk."

"Why aren't you working for me already?"

"Because I hate everything to do with the music business," Bucky stated.

"You are such a joy to have around," Eliza said with a sarcastic smile.

Bucky gave her a sickeningly sweet smile in return.

"I like the press day idea," Zed said. "We have back to back shows this weekend. Then we're off until Thursday."

"You just have the schedule memorized?"

"Of course. I like knowing what I'm supposed to do."

Addison hummed in response. "Maybe next week? Where are we then?"

"Next Thursday we're in…Iowa. But we'll be in Chicago a few days later."

Maykel snapped at Zach. "Time to earn a paycheck, Zach. Let's go. Bree, get them to a music room so they can figure out their set for the weekend."

They split up; Bree took the band and Bucky to another 'conference room' that had been transformed for them, filled with all different kinds of instruments. Addison asked her cousin to leave, saying she didn't want him to hear their creative process.

"We'll go find your fiancé, how about that?" Bree offered.

"Whatever."

Once Bucky was gone, Eliza asked Addison, "Why don't you want him to hear?"

"Bucky makes me nervous," Addison explained with a sheepish shrug. "I would rather it go through you guys. Make it nice and good."

"Go ahead! I'm ready to hear it." Zed said.

Addison smiled a little shyly and moved to the baby grand piano. Her bandmates moved around her as she positioned her hands. She played a few introductory notes before starting to sing.

 _He was certain, so was I  
There was comfort in her sighs  
Dreams and ideas should not be the same thing  
You waited, smiling, for this?  
Oh, she'd want it if she knew  
She could take it, I thought too  
Be careful, be cautious, but you just wished harder  
You waited, smiling, for this?_

" _But they love you"  
Over and over, "They love you"  
Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine  
Aching to find who they are  
"Oh, they love you! Oh, you can feel how they love you"  
Coated and warm but that's all they can do  
Words only get through if they're sharp_

 _I am burnt out, I smell of smoke  
It seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke  
Sentences sit in her mouth that are templated  
You waited, smiling, for this?_

" _But they love you"  
Over and over, "They love you"  
Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine  
Aching to find who they are  
"Oh, they love you! Oh, you can feel how they love you"  
Coated and warm but that's all they can do  
Words only get through if they're sharp_

 _Don't build hope on something broken  
I am not cartoon  
Cry for help, I am not joking  
I might just leave soon  
Don't build hope on something broken  
I am not cartoon  
Cry for help, I am not joking  
I might just leave soon_

"Damn," Eliza whispered. "I…I love it. It's…deep and meaningful and a crapful of everything. I feel like you just…opened yourself to us even more."

Addison smiled sheepishly. "You really liked it?"

"Of course I like it!" Eliza exclaimed. "You know what I think would make it better?"

"What?"

"Some strings. Like cello or violin or—or both! It could make it sound so nice! I played cello in high school, and Bonzo did violin."

"Really? Why?"

"We were really bad in high school and they made it a requirement for us to join the orchestra. That's where this whole thing started." Zed explained. "They assigned us instruments. I got a very lovely piano."

"Then Mr. Jackson—our orchestra conductor—taught him to play guitar. He taught all of us, actually. The point is: I think strings will be a good addition to your song. Thoughts?"

"Sure, we could try it." Addison said with a shrug. "Bonzo?"

She looked at where he had been standing and saw that he was gone. She and Eliza and Zed looked around and found Bonzo across the room, picking through the violins.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do?" Zed asked.

"I'll teach you the piano," Addison said with a smile. "Come on."

Zed grinned and slid onto the bench next to her. "Nice song," he whispered. "It was beautiful."

"It felt good to get that all out," she said honestly. "Did you really like it or are you just being nice?"

"You want an honest answer?"

Addison nodded.

"I loved the lyrics. I'm glad you agreed to add other instruments. The piano could use a little work but that's why we're a band. We work together to make amazing songs."

Addison smiled and reached up, holding his jaw and turning his head toward her for a kiss. Zed pressed his lips to hers, then pulled his head back, leaning his forehead on hers. "I love you so much," he whispered. "You're amazing."

"You're amazing too," she whispered.

"Bleh." Addison's head snapped up and she looked at Bonzo.

"We both feel equally disgusted by your public displays of affection," Eliza deadpanned. "You're so cheesy you made Bonzo talk."

Addison laughed and shook her head. "I won't apologize."

Bonzo stuck his tongue out at her and brought a violin back over to them. "Yeah, great, just leave the very small one to lug this cello over," Eliza complained. "Thanks a lot."

"Eliza complains so much," Addison said to Zed, making sure Eliza heard.

"I hate you all!"

* * *

 **Tuesday, August 6 10:02pm CDT**

 **Des Moines, Iowa**

They had four consecutive shows, Friday to Monday. Whenever they weren't rehearsing or performing, Addison was on strict vocal rest. Friday was Minneapolis, Saturday they were in Omaha, Sunday Wichita, and Monday Kansas City (in Kansas, not Missouri). Tuesday and Wednesday were off days where Addison was on vocal recovery from four straight shows.

There was another three day haul: Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were back to back shows. They would go from Des Moines (Iowa) to Madison and Milwaukee (both in Wisconsin). After the Milwaukee show they would drive straight to Chicago.

For now though, Addison would lay with Zed in bed while they watched old cartoon movies (old as in from the early 2000s).

"Zed?"

"Yeah Babe?"

"I…" Zed gave her a curious look while she struggled to find her words. "I think I want to dye my hair."

"Cool," Zed said. "What color?"

Addison was a little surprised because he was so relaxed and chill about it. "I dunno yet. What do you think?"

"Nothing dark. I can't even picture you with dark hair."

"Ew. Gross."

Zed chuckled and put a finger to her lips. "Hush. Vocal rest. Only speak when necessary. Just sign me."

"But then we have to turn on the lights and I need to sit up. I'm very comfortable, Zed."

Zed chuckled and kissed her head. "I will miss this blonde. But I can understand wanted to change your look. Why do you think we went with being Zombies?"

"You all went to a snotty private school where they restricted you in every way and you guys said 'fuck this' and did your own thing."

Zed made a noise of surprise. "How did you—?"

"Did you forgot that I was your biggest fan? I can tell you your blood type, Babe. I know where you went to school, your backstory, your medical history—"

"My medical history? My _blood type_? How did you learn this!"

"I was president of the northeast branch of your fan club. Not the one in Seabrook, or New Hampshire, the whole northeast."

Zed laughed, a little creeped out but still amused. "What's my blood type then?"

"O negative. Super rare." Addison told him. "You broke your arm in three places when you were fifteen because Eliza dared you to do some crazy skateboarding stunt. You spent five days in the hospital because there was a blood transfusion issue. And when you were nine you had double pneumonia. And when you were ten you needed a kidney transfusion. And—"

"Okay! I get it, Miss President. You know a scary amount of information about me."

Addison giggled. She sat up and reached over, turning on the bedside table lamp. Zed sat up with her, giving her a curious look.

"So what color should I do?"

"Not green," Zed told her. "Unless you wanna tell people you got bit by a certain Zombie."

Addison giggled and leaned into him, kissing him softly. She pulled back and sighed happily. "Man, I _really_ wanna have sex. Fucking vocal rest."

Zed snorted. "Which you aren't doing."

"What color should I dye my hair? Blue?"

Zed shook his head. "The only way to get rid of blue is with red and red doesn't come out. You wanna be a redhead?"

Addison made a face and shook her head. "Purple?"

"Still pretty dark. And you're already blonde."

"White?"

"White?" Addison asked. "I dunno. Think it'll look good white?"

Zed shrugged. "Probably. I think you look amazing all the time though."

Addison giggled. "You don't have to always compliment me, I'm already your girlfriend."

He shrugged again and gave her a kiss. "I like complimenting you, that's all that matters."

Addison giggled and they kissed again. Zed pulled her against him, laying back down. Addison's laughed and pulled away from his lips. "No sex, remember? I'm on vocal rest."

"Fuck," Zed groaned. "This is so stupid."

"It is. We're both adults, who are dating each other and are allowed to have sex."

"You tend to be a screamer," Zed pointed out.

"Shut up. The point is Maykel can't tell us what to do!"

"Ssh. And he can, be sure if you can't sing then none of us get paid."

Addison pouted, knowing he was right. "Back to cartoons?" Addison asked.

"Yeah. I'll text Jenna to see if she can go buy you hair dye when she buys some for us."

"No! I wanna, I just want you to know. For now. Keep it on the low until it's finished. You feel me?"

"Yeah, I get you. We'll go out and buy some hair dye tomorrow. Now let's get some rest."

* * *

 **Wednesday, August 7 4:11pm CDT**

 **Des Moines, Iowa**

Elisa and Bonzo were easily accepting of Addison's new hair color. Addison's three bandmates helped her dye her hair, and then Bree showed up and they all came up with a masterful plan on how the press would find out about her dyed hair.

Until it was time for the plan to go into action, Bree got her a blonde wig that looked a lot like her hair used to, that Addison would wear for the time being.

* * *

 **Monday, August 12 7:51am CDT**

 **Chicago, Illinois**

Their show in Chicago was on Tuesday. So Monday morning they were scheduled for their first interview since Addison's birthday and the beginning of the tour. They weren't due until 8:30 in the morning for the interview, but had to be there to go over the details by seven. They were performing two of their new songs on the radio and needed the time before to rehearse. Then Judy Rox, the morning host, wanted to go over the schedule with them, which could only happen during commercial breaks.

They were going to be on the Judy Rox's Morning Show from 8:30 until 10. They were going to be live-streaming the whole time on the band's Facebook and Instagram pages.

After doing a quick little rehearsal in the other room, they went into the main studio, waiting outside for them to introduce the next song. "Alright folks, you've all been waiting all week for this, and now you're gonna wait another seven minutes. After the break we've got Addison Davis, Zed Necrodopolus, and Eliza Ruzzell from iZombie, live on the air. But for now, here's Eva Alexis with _It Ain't Me_."

Judy Rox turned off the microphone, spinning around in her chair to face her next guests. She pulled off her headphones and smiled at them. "Hey guys, welcome," she greeted. "I'm Judy. I'm sure you've met my cohost, Annalise."

"Those four seats are for you guys," the station manager, Kristen Valley, said, pointing to the chairs directly across from Judy Rox. "The microphones are detachable if you wanna move around the room, which you are free to do."

"Awesome, thanks," Zed said.

He led the way to the chairs, taking the one in the middle; Addison sat on his left and Eliza on his right. Bonzo came in a second later, taking the seat next to Eliza.

"Did Kristen already talk to you guys about the topics?" Judy asked.

"Yeah," Addison answered. "We're all good. Totally fine with all of them."

Judy raised a curious eyebrow. "All of them?"

Addison shrugged, knowing what she was hinting at. "Everything that you're asking about, we're gonna have to address at some point. I'd rather just get it over with now then let people assume and make stupid predictions."

Zed squeezed her hand under the table and Addison glanced at him, seeing him giving her an encouraging smile.

"Okay. Just tell us if we ever overstep or once you start to feel uncomfortable." Annalise told them. "We're not here to get the gossip on you guys. Just wanna talk. Act as the bridge between your lives and the world."

Judy snorted. "You're so weird, Anna."

"Shut up, you love me."

"Hey when you're done being cute and gay, do you mind setting me up with a cute gay friend?" Eliza interjected.

"Judy doesn't have any friends," Annalise pointed out.

Eliza laughed with Annalise at Judy's expense. Zed saw Addison's amused and confused expression and leaned over, whispering to her, "Judy and Annalise are lesbians but aren't together. Annalise is married, just FYI."

"How do you know all this?"

"We met at the iHeartRadio Musical Festival last year."

"Ah."

Eliza continued her conversation with the radio hosts while Zed busied himself on his phone and Addison just watched the both of them. One of their crew members came and set up the camera for the live-streams, and, a few minutes later, they were back on the air.

"Okay and we're back with the members of iZombie," Judy announced. "They took a break from their tour to come and visit us."

"Well it wasn't really a break," Zed joked. "We've been in Chicago for a few days."

"And we've got a show tomorrow, so no break. Just a little hello." Eliza added.

"You kids are so annoying, you know what we meant," Annalise pointed out jokingly.

"Kids?" Addison questioned. "I literally _just_ turned twenty one. Soon I'll be able to get a hotel room anywhere I go without a real adult!"

This made everyone laugh, making Addison grin proudly.

"Okay, Addison, you are an actual child, who we must protect always," Zed stated, feigning seriousness.

"We? Or just you?" Judy asked. "Rumor has it Zed Necrodopolus has a new girlfriend."

Zed chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "I hate rumors. They ruin all my fun, you know?"

"Fun? You guys were literally making out in the middle of the sidewalk." Eliza pointed out. "Any person with three brain cells could figure it out."

"I mean, it could've been just kissing and nothing more. Who knows if we're actually dating?" Addison said.

"So you aren't," Annalise summarized.

"Oh, we are," Addison said. "I was just saying that you can't just assume things because of a picture. But yeah, we're dating."

"Two glorious weeks," Zed said dreamily.

"It's been hell, they're so sickeningly cute. Disgusting." Eliza complained. Bonzo nodded in agreement, making the radio hosts chuckle.

"So two weeks ago would put us back to your birthday, Addison." Judy said.

"Yep," she agreed. "We didn't actually get together until that Saturday, though. While we were on the way to Vancouver."

"You know, there's been a lot in the news about you and what happened between your birthday and Vancouver, and you fainting during the Vancouver show," Judy pointed out. "Both of you—Zed and Addison—have been off social media since Addison's birthday."

"Well we told Zed not to check it, because of the speculation," Eliza said.

"I sorta threw my phone into the ocean," Addison said. "I haven't gotten a new one yet."

"It'd be great if you could fill in the gaps," Judy said to Addison. "There's been a huge gap in the story and it'd be great to know what happened. I'm sure it'd fill in the gaps about Vancouver and everything."

"Well sure, but you'd better get comfortable. It's a bit of a doozy."

"So I'm sure you've all heard of the story of my previous relationship when we were on Rachel Erin's show."

"It definitely wasn't what anyone was expecting from the new girl," Judy pointed out.

Addison laughed a little. "Being unpredictable is what I do best, which isn't good at all," she said. "The morning after my birthday was…it wasn't very good. I started freaking out, because I felt like what had happened in my previous, toxic relationship, was happening all over again."

"With Zed?" Judy asked.

"Yes," Addison nodded. "I did the only thing I was good at: I ran. After I ran, I wandered around, trying to figure out what to do. And I knew that I didn't—I _couldn't_ go through what I did again. I figured…death was better than going through that again."

Addison stopped and closed her eyes. She could feel her chest tightening and her eyes stinging, like she was about to cry or vomit or both. Zed wrapped an arm around her shoulder slowly, pulling her into his shoulder.

"Take your time, Sweetie," Annalise sympathized.

Addison leaned forward and spoke into Zed's microphone. "I'm not crying," she said. "I just…it's easier to talk about the hard stuff while someone you love holds you."

Zed smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Um…Zed saved me after that. And over the next few days, I realized the difference between my previous relationship and Zed. And it was that Zed loves me, he really loves me. He cried over me, something I had never seen before in my life. Not even my own parents showed that much concern about me. And he took care of me while respecting my boundaries."

"You're saying it as if I'm some godsend and not a guy who's just head over heels for you."

"I greatly appreciate you, Z," she told him. "You're my godsend."

"Aw!" Annalise gushed. "You guys are so sweet together. So cute together, I mean."

Addison smiled and turned her head into Zed's chest for a moment, then sat up to speak into her own microphone. "Um, so most of that happened on the Friday after my birthday. We stayed in Oregon and then drove up to Vancouver the next day."

"It was a hassle," Zed said. "We woke up late and left late in the day. Almost missed the show completely."

"So, after everything that happened, why did you still want to perform?" Judy asked. "I would have rescheduled, or canceled."

"Zed wanted me to," Addison said. "But the people of Vancouver deserved the best I could give them. I thought that I could do it. Then, well, everything finally caught up to me and I just broke down, so they finished the show without me."

Addison shrugged. "So how are you doing now?" Judy asked. "It's been two weeks now."

"I'm doing a hell of a lot better than I was two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago. I'm just doing fantastic." Addison said with a smile. "I have an amazing therapist. She's lovely and she works around the tour. But once we're back in L. A. we'll get a good schedule going."

"You're in therapy now?" Annalise asked.

"Yeah. One of the songs were performing today was a sort of therapy assignment."

"Her therapy assignments made some kick ass songs," Eliza added. "A few are on the set list for tomorrow's show. All I can say is it's gonna kick ass."

"They aren't _that_ good."

"Addison does this thing where she doesn't believe her songs are awesome," Eliza said. "So just ignore her, because they're awesome."

Addison blushed at the compliments. "What else can you tell us about the first song you're performing?" Judy asked.

"It's depressing," Eliza stated. "It's full of emotions and it's so raw and real. It goes back to the old days, back in high school."

"How so?" Judy asked.

"Eliza and Bonzo are playing violin and cello and I'm on a lovely piano. Like in high school." Zed said with a smile.

"It's called _Burned Out_ ," Addison explained. "It's got lots of pessimistic and cynical ideas, and then there's the direct contrast with so many optimistic points. Every line means something different or references something new, and a lot of it had to do with the fame that I'm still learning how to deal with now."

"One of the ideas that I got from it was how Addison had been craving fame but how it's just…so difficult to deal with and so freakin' hard. Which is a proper representation of the first few…years, of fame." Eliza explained.

Addison snorted. "Years? Really, Eliza?"

"It's been a rough year, Davis."

"Well, let's hear this song," Annalise announced. She paused dramatically, then added, "After we hear this super amazing song, _Sucker_ by the Jonas Brothers. Be right back with iZombie and their new song."

They were moved to a different studio, Judy and Annalise following them as they got ready to perform. "And if you're just joining us this morning, we're about to debut iZombie's newest song, _Burned Out_." Judy announced into the microphone. "Take it away!"

 _He was certain  
So was I  
There was comfort  
In her sighs  
Dreams and ideas should not be the same thing  
You waited smiling for this_

 _Oh she'd want it  
If she knew  
She could take it,  
I thought too  
Be careful be cautious but you just wished harder  
You waited smiling for this_

" _But they love you!" over and over "they love you!"  
Thousands and thousands of  
Eyes just like mine  
Aching to find  
Who they are  
And they love you! oh you can feel how they love you!  
Coated and warm but that's  
All they can do  
Words only get through  
If they're sharp_

 _Oh how fitting  
For one so fake  
Make me a fairy  
Whatever it takes  
And just like her tale my dream was a scam  
Oh you waited smiling for this_

 _I am burnt out  
I smell of smoke  
It seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke  
Sentences sit in her mouth that are templated  
You waited smiling for this_

" _But they love you!" over and over "they love you!"  
Thousands and thousands of  
Eyes just like mine  
Aching to find  
Who they are  
And they love you! oh you can feel how they love you!  
Coated and warm but that's  
All they can do  
Words only get through  
If they're sharp_

 _I can just talk about it  
Maybe I'll talk about it  
I'll never talk about it  
I cannot talk about it_

 _Don't build hope on something broken  
I am not cartoon  
Cry for help  
I am not joking  
I might just leave soon_

* * *

 **Monday, August 12 9:41am CDT**

 **Chicago, Illinois**

"Now before we finish up in like, twenty minutes, iZombie has another special song, just for us," Annalise said.

"It's called _Digital Love_ ," Addison said with an excited smile.

"Oh? A love song?" Judy asked.

"Yes it is!"

"The first love song you've written for Zed, huh?"

Both Zed and Addison laughed. "Oh no, absolutely not," Addison said. "I've been writing tons, I've just been sneaky."

"Really?" Judy asked.

"Yeah. _Someday_ was a partially written song, which I finished after meeting Zed. I mean, before I even started working there, Zed was my biggest celebrity crush. Did anyone really expect me to not write a song about being in love with a Zombie?" Addison said, making them all laugh.

"There was also _Smile_ ," Zed added. "Which, I asked her if it was a love song and she lied to me."

Addison laughed and said, "I told him it was about me meeting iZombie and crap. It's more you're fault for believing me, Zed."

"It was a very believable lie."

Addison giggled and pinched his cheek. "Ugh, they're so insufferable," Eliza complained. "She asked about _Digital Love_ , which is really good, by the way. And now you're talking about all these other songs."

"Eliza's bitter because she isn't getting any," Zed stated.

"And you are?" Annalise asked, slightly knowingly.

Zed laughed, leaning back in his chair. "I think we should be less concerned about my sex life and talk about _Digital Love_ because it's so good and my amazing girlfriend worked very hard on it."

"You're avoiding the question," Annalise pointed out.

"I'm just trying to get back on track to the original question." Zed shrugged.

"So smooth," Eliza deadpanned. "But, on the subject of _Digital Love_ , it's one of my favorites of the new songs Addison's been writing. There's more, obviously, that will be in our show tomorrow. But I love _Digital Love_."

"It's got choreography," Addison added. "Bucky's been traveling with us since Minneapolis, doing the choreo for a lot of the new songs."

"So basically tomorrow's show is gonna kick ass," Zed stated.

"What's it about?" Judy questioned.

"It's basically a response song, to all the hateful comments everyone had been leaving all over my social media," Addison said. "I don't have to post pictures and tweets anytime something happens in my life. I don't have to post a picture of Zed announcing our relationship. The only person who absolutely needs to know that we're dating, is Zed."

"In it, she talks about wanting a nice, old school relationship," Zed added. "Holding hands, dancing, all that good stuff. It's really cute."

Judy and Annalise laughed. "Okay, let's listen to some _Digital Love_ ," Annalise said, paused for a dramatic effect, then added, "After the break."

After the commercial break, they were back in the studio with the instruments. "Again, for the first time ever, here's a new iZombie song called _Digital Love_ , which you can hear again, tomorrow night during their show. We'll be giving away tickets all day today and tomorrow, so stay tuned!" Judy introduced.

 _Put ya phone down, come here  
We got something to do (something to do)  
Feel the magic in the air  
I know that you're feeling it too (feeling it too)  
We don't gotta take a picture  
We got nothing to prove (nothing to prove)  
Run away with me somewhere_

 _We got nothing to lose (nothing to lose)_

 _Put your hand in my hand and look into my eyes  
You know that, that true love  
Got me feeling alive  
It's a vibe, it's all good, it's alright  
Yeah, we right yeah  
You know that, that true love  
Got me feeling alive_

 _I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital  
I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital_

 _(1, 2, 3)_

 _No digital love I need to feel your heart  
No digital love (no digital love)  
I need the real true parts  
No digital love _

_I just want that old school  
Throwback like you supposed to  
What's up? Yeah, what's up? No digital love_

 _I can feel the beat on repeat  
That you play on my heart (play on my heart)  
Electric love connection  
That we felt from the start (felt from the start)_

 _Come on put my jam on  
Move just like we planned on  
Tell the DJ we need something  
Good that we can dance on_

 _I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital (no digital love)  
I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital  
(1, 2, 3)_

 _No digital love I need to feel your heart  
No digital love (no digital love)  
I need the real true parts _

_No digital love oh  
I just want that old school  
Throwback like you supposed to  
What's up? Yeah, what's up? No digital love_

 _I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital  
I don't want a typical, I just want Original  
I don't want a typical, I don't want no digital_

 _No digital love_

 _I need to feel your heart  
No digital love (no digital love) _

_I need the real true parts  
No digital love oh  
I just want that old school  
Throwback like you supposed to  
What's up? Yeah, what's up?_

 _No digital love  
I need to feel your heart  
No digital love (no digital love)  
I need the real true parts  
No digital love oh  
I just want that old school  
Throwback like you supposed to  
What's up? Yeah, what's up?_

 _No digital love ooh_

* * *

 **Tuesday, August 13 5:44pm CDT**

 **Chicago, Illinois**

They spent the majority of the next day at the venue. Several magazine spokespeople had come for interviews and pictures. They would be there for pre-show and post-show interviews, as well as to talk about iZombie's show.

Addison was nervous for all the right reasons. Aside from all the magazines there, it was the first show where she'd be debuting her new hair color, and the first show Bucky would be going to. On top of all of that, they were debuting five new songs (two of which they'd performed on the radio the day before).

Zed, sensing her nervousness, told her, "You're gonna do amazing. They're gonna love you."

"And what if they don't?"

"Then remember that I love you, and that's ten times better than them loving you." Zed gave her a sweet kiss, practically melting her worries away.

In the end, the crowd went wild for the surprise in the middle of their favorite song, _Stand_. And her and Zed's posts the next day, showing a close up of her hair. And the band's post of the video where she removed the wig.

And Addison loved the articles about her hair and their radio interview. She had been worried for nothing. She was afraid they'd paint her out to be the devil's spawn, crawling in and tearing the band apart to get what she wanted. But she was just a girl with a dream that came true, who fell in love with her celebrity crush.


	6. Bonus Content

Welcome to the information pages for the band!au. There's a lot of information I've been sharing on tumblr and also keeping to myself that you can now know that the story is over!

First, there will be a prequel and it's gonna be called _More Than a Band_. Look out for it in the coming months! It's about how iZombie came to be, and I think it's gonna be really good. And coming really, _really_ soon, will be the first part of the 'intermediate' sequel called _My Big Fat Gay Wedding_. Really soon meaning tomorrow. In Part 2, I mentioned Bucky and Zach getting married. So that's what the 'intermediate' sequel is about.

* * *

 **I- The Playlist**

If you didn't know, there's a playlist that goes with the story. It's posted on my tumblr and on my fanfiction YouTube thing but here are the list of songs with each part.

PART I:

1\. Brand New Day - Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam (Demi Lovato)

2\. Preach - Keiynan Lonsdale

3\. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem (ft Rihanna)

4\. The Cure - Lady Gaga

5\. Lose Yourself - Eminem

PART II:

6\. Play My Music - The Jonas Brothers

7\. A Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes

8\. This Is What It Takes - Shawn Mendes

9\. Big Spender - Kiana Ledé

 _10\. I'm Ready - AJR (ALSO IN PART III)_

PART III:

11\. Kid In Love - Shawn Mendes

12\. Unsteady - X Ambassadors

13\. Birthday - Selena Gomez

14\. Make It To Me - Sam Smith

PART IV:

15\. Since You Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

16\. Finest Hour - Cash Cash

17\. Why I Love You - Major

18\. You Will Be Found - Dear Evan Hansen Original Broadway Cast

* * *

 **II - THE MUSIC**

So if you couldn't tell, there was a lot of music used in this story. Don't think for a second that I didn't create whole albums, guys. This was my absolute favorite au to write. Okay so first is the E.P., titled _ZOMBIELAND_. Then there was the first album Addison recorded with them called _No_ _Regrets_.

ZOMBIELAND:

1\. Bamm - Milo Manheim, Meg Donnelly, & Kylee Russell

2\. Hell Nos and Headphones - Hailee Steinfeld

3\. Stand - Meg Donnelly & Trevor Tordjman

4\. Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld

5\. You're Such A - Hailee Steinfeld

6\. Air - Shawn Mendes (ft Astrid S)

7\. Popular Song - MIKA (ft Ariana Grande)

NO REGRETS:

1\. Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra

2\. Flare Guns - Quinn XCII (ft Chelsea Cutler)

3\. Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso (ft Florida Georgia Line)

4\. Younger - Ruel

5\. Nothing to Regret - Robinson

6\. C'est la vie - Maurice Moore

7\. Bust a Left - Meg Donnelly

8\. Mood - Carlie Hanson

9\. Someday - Milo Manheim & Meg Donnelly

10\. Preach - Keiynan Lonsdale

11\. Smile - Meg Donnelly

And after the tour, with the new songs from the tour along with new stuff, there's the second album, _Unhuman_.

UNHUMAN:

1\. Burned Out - dodie

2\. Warrior - Demi Lovato

3\. Scars to Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara

4\. She's So Gone - Naomi Scott

5\. Wildside - Sabrina Carpenter & Sofia Carson

6\. Love Myself - Hailee Steinfeld

7\. Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya

8\. Take On the World - Rowan Blanchard & Sabrina Carpenter

9\. This Is What It Takes - Shawn Mendes

10\. Ruin - Shawn Mendes

11\. Imagination - Shawn Mendes

12\. Kid in Love - Shawn Mendes

13\. Like This - Shawn Mendes

14\. Why I Love You - Major

15\. Digital Love - Meg Donnelly

* * *

 **III. THE TOUR**

These are the tour dates. All the dates reflect the 2019 calendar.

1\. Friday July 12 - Los Angeles, California

2\. Saturday July 13 - Las Vegas, Nevada

3\. Wednesday July 17 - San Francisco, California

4\. Saturday July 20 - Portland, Oregon

5\. Wednesday July 24 - Seattle, Washington

6\. Saturday July 27 - Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada)

7\. Friday August 2 - Minneapolis, Minnesota

8\. Saturday, August 3 - Omaha, Nebraska

9\. Sunday, August 4 - Wichita, Kansas

10\. Monday, August 5 - Kansas City, Kansas

11\. Thursday, August 8 - Des Moines, Iowa

12\. Friday, August 9 - Madison, Wisconsin

13\. Saturday, August 10 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin

14\. Tuesday, August 13 - Chicago, Illinois

15\. Thursday, August 15 - St. Louis, Missouri

16\. Saturday, August 17 - Lexington, Kentucky

17\. Tuesday, August 20 - Cincinnati, Ohio

18\. Wednesday, August 21 - Dayton, Ohio

19\. Thursday, August 22 - Detroit, Michigan

20\. Saturday, August 24 - Toronto, Ontario (Canada)

21\. Monday, August 26 - Montreal, Quebec (Canada)

22\. Wednesday, August 28 - Portland, Maine

23\. Friday, August 30 - Springfield, Massachusetts

24\. Saturday, August 31 - Bridgeport, Connecticut

25\. Tuesday, September 3 - New York, New York

26\. Thursday, September 5 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

27\. Friday, September 6 - Washington, D.C.

28\. Saturday, September 7 - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

29\. Tuesday, September 10 - Charlotte, North Carolina

30\. Thursday, September 12 - Knoxville, Tennessee

31\. Saturday, September 14 - Atlanta, Georgia

32\. Monday, September 16 - Douglas, Georgia

33\. Wednesday, September 18 - Orlando, Florida

34\. Friday, September 20 - Miami, Florida

35\. Sunday, September 22 - Tampa, Florida

36\. Thursday, September 26 - Montgomery, Alabama

37\. Friday, September 27 - New Orleans, Louisiana

38\. Saturday, September 28 - Baton Rouge, Louisiana

39\. Tuesday, September 30 - Jackson, Mississippi

40\. Wednesday, October 1 - Memphis, Tennessee

41\. Friday, October 3 - Little Rock, Arkansas

42\. Saturday, October 4 - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

43\. Tuesday, October 7 - Houston, Texas

44\. Wednesday, October 8 - San Antonio, Texas

45\. Friday, October 10 - Monterrey, Mexico

46\. Saturday, October 11 - Albuquerque, New Mexico

47\. Sunday, October 12 - Denver, Colorado

48\. Tuesday, October 14 - Salt Lake City, Utah

49\. Thursday, October 16 - Tucson, Arizona

50\. Saturday, October 18 - San Diego, California

* * *

 **IV**. **THE** **SET** **LIST**

So this is the set list for shows 1-5:

1\. Bamm - Milo Manheim, Meg Donnelly, & Kylee Russell

2\. Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra

3\. Flare Guns - Quinn XCII (ft Chelsea Cutler)

4\. Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso (ft Florida Georgia Line)

5\. Younger - Ruel

6\. Nothing to Regret - Robinson

7\. C'est la vie - Maurice Moore

8\. Bust a Left - Meg Donnelly

9.!Mood - Carlie Hanson

10\. Someday - Milo Manheim & Meg Donnelly

11\. Preach - Keiynan Lonsdale

12\. Smile - Meg Donnelly

13\. Something Big - Shawn Mendes

14\. Hell Nos and Headphones - Hailee Steinfeld

15\. A Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes

16\. Stand - Meg Donnelly

17\. Strings - Shawn Mendes

18\. Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld

19\. Aftertaste - Shawn Mendes

20\. You're Such A - Hailee Steinfeld

21\. Air - Shawn Mendes (ft Astrid S)

22\. Popular Song - MIKA (ft Ariana Grande)

The set list for 6-13:

1\. Little Do You Know

2\. Flare Guns

3\. Let Me Go

4\. Nothing to Regret

5\. Mood

6\. Hell Nos and Headphones

7\. Most Girls

8\. Younger

9\. C'est la vie

10\. Preach

11\. Something Big

12\. Strings

13\. Aftertaste

14\. A Little Too Much

15\. This Is What It Takes

16\. Imagination

17\. Ruin

18\. Like This

19\. Kid in Love

20\. Grenade

21\. Why I Love

And finally, the set list for shows 14-50:

1\. Little Do You Know

2\. Flare Guns

3\. Let Me Go

4\. Younger

5\. Nothing To Regret

6\. C'est la vie

7\. Mood

8\. Someday

9\. Preach

10\. Stand

11\. Something Big

12\. Strings

13\. Aftertaste

14\. A Little Too Much

15\. This Is What It Takes

16\. Imagination

17\. Ruin

18\. Like This

19\. Kid In Love

20\. Why I Love You

21\. Bamm

22\. Bust a Left

23\. Burned Out

24\. Warrior

25\. Scars to Your Beautiful

26\. She's So Gone

27\. Love Myself

28\. Digital Love

29\. Smile

* * *

 **V. BONUS CONTENT**

Time for the fun stuff! All the information that you didn't know or that got deleted. Everything!

1\. In Part IV, Zed had seven emergency songs. When it came time to make the album, he took out one song, refusing to record it. That song was Grenade (by Bruno Mars) and he refused to record it because it was the last song he'd written about Lucy and he didn't want to have to think about her anymore. The six other songs got recorded and they're all explicitly about Addison.

2\. The original plan was that Addison was an assistant, Lucy goes bonkers, Addison joins the band. Her and Zed get together on her birthday. Happy ending. This was supposed to be a one-shot. Then, Part I got too long and when I got to the part of her audition I added in the stuff about Snake and everything. Then it was supposed to be three parts. Part II and III were supposed to be together but I had to split them up because Part II got way too long. Then I needed an epilogue…

3\. The final set list had a stretch of songs that are just Zed. That is because after Stand is when Addison initially took off her wig (during the Chicago show), and she had to go backstage to get her hair done nice and change her outfit, get wired up with a headset for all the songs with dancing.

4\. If you go on my tumblr and the tagged section for either "band!au" or "kiss kiss fall in love", youll find stories I didn't post, pictures and songs that go with specific scenes, etc etc.

5\. Lastly, I love you readers and this universe which is why it has so many additions coming!


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